Teach Me
by SpirkTrekker42
Summary: K/S. Set during the new Trek movie, which means major spoilers. My take on Kirk and Spock's first meeting at Starfleet Academy. Spock is Kirk's teacher and they really don't get along! Just how much do they *hate* each other? Slash. Spock & Kirk POVs.
1. My Deepest Wish

Disclaimer: Star Trek belongs to Gene Roddenberry. The movie rights belong to J.J. Abrams and Paramount. Thanks to Zachary Quinto and Chris Pine for inspiring me to write about the young versions of Spock and Kirk! And to Leonard Nimoy, bless him, for his flawless portrayal of Spock Prime.

Warning: This story contains SLASH. As in a male/male relationship. If you don't like it, don't read it. Thank you.

Title: Teach Me

Author: SpirkTrekker42

Summary: K/S. Set during the new Star Trek movie, which means minor spoilers. My take on Kirk and Spock's first meeting at Starfleet Academy. Spock is Kirk's teacher and they really don't get along! Just how much do they *hate* each other? Pre-slash. Spock POV.

Published: 04-15-09, Updated: 05-07-09

This fic has just been moved from the TOS TV show section and to the ST 2009 movie section. However, since I wrote it before I saw the movie with little spoiler knowledge, so some events will be altered, omitted, or out of order.

A/N: So I decided to write a fic about the new Star Trek movie, set during the Academy years. It contains some minor spoilers so if you are avoiding them totally don't read this. However, I only have a rough idea as to the plot of Star Trek XI, so I decided to write my own take on the first meeting of Kirk and Spock before I see how it unfolds in the movie. The story begins with the first time Kirk and Spock meet and how their relationship develops from there. Pre-slash.

**Edit on 6/17: I went back through and changed a few details so they would fit better with the movie and ST 2009 canon. However, the plot of the story remains the same. I just had a little polishing to do.**

_Teach Me_

Ch.1: My Deepest Wish

Cold - bitter, stinging cold! Sheets of crystalline snow battered my body as I trekked across the white barren wasteland. What a godforsaken planet! How did I end up here anyway? I could not recall. All I knew was that if I didn't find shelter soon, I wouldn't live to see the day that I would attain my ultimate goal – to be assigned as Science Officer on a starship.

Then, right before my eyes, a fellow Vulcan materialized. For a moment I was afraid, but as I looked at that wizened face I saw great wisdom and peace reflecting in his dark eyes. I knew then that I had nothing to fear from this visitor.

"Who are you?" I demanded, perhaps sounding a bit more accusing than I meant to. "Why am I here?"

"Why are any of us here?" Came the calm, logical reply. He rather reminded me of someone I knew but I couldn't quite place who it was. Then I had a wild thought.

"Are you Surak, coming to aid me in my darkest hour?" To my surprise, the Vulcan actually chuckled. _Well, he cannot be Surak_, I thought, trying not to feel too disappointed. Our society's founder of logical philosophy would never allow himself such a display of emotion. That action would be quite illogical, not to mention disgraceful.

"You would like to think so." The elderly Vulcan's eyes twinkled with amusement. "No, I am not Surak. I am you, Spock."

"That claim is most irregular," I muttered, not sure if I should believe him. Or perhaps I was so far gone that I had started to hallucinate. On second thought, maybe I should believe him.

"I came to deliver a message to you," the Vulcan-who-claimed-to-be-me elaborated. "Do not completely immerse yourself in the teachings of Surak. This time around, you _must _get it right."

"I do not understand," I said, raising an eyebrow. Distance myself from the teachings of Surak? Unthinkable!

"I have traveled back in time to warn you of what is to come," the elder Spock explained. "Due to the rash action of a rogue Romulan, the fabric of the space-time continuum has been disrupted. This means that your life will not have to follow the same path as mine."

"You mentioned something about 'getting it right', I reminded him, still not sure if I should buy his story about time travel. Somehow, it seemed a little too convenient.

"You must not let your shame and despair consume you," my old self cautioned. "If you choose as I did, you will be missing out on the best years of your life."

"You are speaking in riddles," I replied. "I am not overwhelmed by despair, nor have I shamed myself."

"Spock, tomorrow your life will change forever." The elder Vulcan looked upon me with much concern, and was that a shred of pity? I certainly hoped not! "This will all be new to you, but you must learn not shut out your feelings. Instead, you should embrace them."

"But that goes against everything I have learned on Vulcan," I pointed out, trying to keep my voice steady. At the same time I was also contemplating what kinds of external factors could cause my life to change so drastically.

"Everything you learned on Vulcan taught you to suppress your human half," said the Old Spock with a sigh. "That was a mistake. If not corrected, you will be paying for it for a long time. You _must_ face tomorrow with an open mind, for if you do you will be granted your deepest wish. And perhaps more." Both my eyebrows flew up at that.

"This change, does it have anything to do with my receiving an assignment to a ship?" I asked, doing my best to sound casual.

"Is receiving an assignment your deepest wish?"

"I am certain that nothing would please me more," I answered. Old Spock sighed.

"You are not receiving an assignment tomorrow."

"I see," I said evenly, trying not to feel too disappointed.

"That is not your deepest wish, is it?"

"It is my goal in life, my top priority," I returned. "I wish to become the greatest Science Officer that Starfleet has ever seen and serve until I am no longer fit for duty."

"You are not being true to yourself, Spock," frowned the old Vulcan. "We both know what our deepest wish is, and it certainly is not that." I processed his words for a moment, making a concerted effort not to frown. How could I speak of this deeply personal wish, as it was tied with emotions? But it would be just like having a conversation with myself, as strange as it may seem. I decided it would not be shameful to speak with Old Spock about these matters, as I would not be sharing them with anyone but myself.

"I have often wished for a… friend," I whispered. "I have plenty of acquaintances but there is no one that I would call my 'best friend', to use the Terran expression."

"Now we are getting somewhere," the elder Spock mused. "Go on."

"But it is illogical to hope for something that has a slim chance of occurring," I continued. "My presence embarrasses Vulcans and Humans find me odd. Those of other species do not find me good company either. All I need is one Being to see me for who I am inside in order to find my company agreeable, but that will never happen. Such an event has never occurred before, so why should it occur now? "

Old Spock actually grinned at me then. The nerve of him! What had happened in my life that caused me to disregard Vulcan philosophy? Emotion is not logical! Why would my old self embarrass me this way in his golden years?

"Do not be so certain, Spock. How I envy you; tomorrow you meet_ him_." Before I had the chance to ask him who 'he' was, my aging manifestation had vanished. The biting wind swirled around me once more, rattling me to the very core. Never before had I felt so lost and alone…

.~.

"Mr. Spock, report for duty."

At the sound of the cool, feminine voice of the computer, my eyes flew open to observe the familiar surroundings of my quarters at Starfleet Academy. My textbooks, my science journals and equipment, my beloved harp – they were all there. My teeth continued to chatter and my body shook with cold as I realized what had happened. I must've forgotten to adjust the temperature controls last night! That must be why I dreamt about the ice planet. I threw on a robe and changed the temperature accordingly, finally able to relax as heat was pumped into the room.

After congratulating myself on that excellent deduction (and simultaneously deciding to forget about the part of the dream with the old Vulcan) I checked the computer for my new message. To my surprise, it was from the headmaster himself!

_Dear Commander Spock,_

_You are required to teach _History of Starfleet_ today, starting at 0900. Admiral Morrow had to take a leave of absence but you will find his notes to be in order. _

I mentally groaned. History of Starfleet? What a waste of time and resources that class was! While _I_ certainly understood the value of learning history, most of the students at the Academy were human and did not take it seriously. If you have ever studied Terran history as I have, you will find that, excluding most of the past century, humans had a horrendous track record of repeating their mistakes. Admiral Morrow was no exception, and he had a notorious reputation for letting students slide in his class. However, Starfleet wasn't concerned about the importance of a lower level one-credit course. As long as they continued to produce well-trained and qualified cadets, the United Federation of Planets board members were satisfied.

This was all very well, but why had I been asked to teach the class? I was already teaching classes in Advanced Phonology and Interspecies Ethics, as they were subjects that I had intensively studied. I read a little more of the message, hoping for a reasonable explanation.

_No doubt you are wondering as to the nature of your assignment. If you recall from our last meeting, one of your goals is to improve your relations with humans. Teaching this class will give you an opportunity to do just that, as it relies heavily on discussion. Also, I have not forgotten that your areas of expertise are Phonology and Interspecies Ethics, and not History. However, I know you have an interest in the subject, as well as a vast knowledge and understanding of significant events relating to Starfleet. No doubt you will find today's topic most fascinating to share with the class._

_-Admiral Barnett, Headmaster_

As irked as I was that I was being ordered to teach an extra class, my curiosity was peaked. I opened the attachment on the message in hopes of finding a carefully constructed curriculum that would include a schedule of topic for the lectures. When I located today's topic, I was impressed by the headmaster's sense of intuition. Indeed, it was fascinating.

_Stardate: 2245.31_

_Lecture topic: The U.S.S. Kelvin incident _

The Kelvin Incident was a historical event that I had studied extensively in my own spare time. This was the story of the brave First Officer that took command of the starship after Captain Robau was killed in the line of duty. He only lasted twelve minutes as acting captain, sacrificing himself to the enemy to save the lives of every man, woman, and child on the _Kelvin_. Kirk stayed behind to operate the _Kelvin_'s defenses, as the autopilot had been overidden. After all of the shuttles were underway, Kirk set a collision course for the enemy ship. He lost his life, but managed to cripple his opponent long enough for the shuttles to warp out. Even in death, Kirk was victorious, for he had saved all those who escaped in the shuttles, including his pregnant wife.

Even as a child on Vulcan, I was moved by this tale of personal sacrifice. It might even have had a hand in my decision to join Starfleet instead of the Vulcan Science Academy. My father, the Vulcan ambassador, was less than pleased with my fascination with all things Starfleet when I was growing up. He found my hero worship of George Kirk disturbing and illogical. I secretly wondered if my life would've been different if my father had been George Kirk instead of the overbearing Sarek and often envied George Kirk's sons. Their father was dead, but he left behind a great legacy. Surely _they_ would have no difficulty being accepted into Starfleet, should they choose it.

It was at that moment when I recalled the most recent rumor floating around the Academy; George Kirk's younger son had enlisted in Starfleet and was making quite a name for himself, academically and socially. I had never heard if this rumor had been confirmed or denied. All I knew is that I certainly hadn't had a student in my classes with the last name of Kirk. But if the lecture topic of the day was concerning the valiant actions of First Officer George Kirk on the _Kelvin_, perhaps his son might stop by to listen? Shaking my head, I pushed the absurd thought from my mind. I should know better than to listen to rumors, but sometimes my human curiosity tends to overcome logic.

Checking my chronometer, I calculated the amount of time I had to dress and prepare for the class. Spurned on by the thought of lecturing on one of my favorite events in Starfleet history, I completed my menial morning tasks more quickly than usual. Deciding to arrive at the classroom early, I set off for lecture hall 4-B. Not surprisingly, I was the only one who bothered to show up early. No matter – I took out some light reading on computer programming and waited for the students to show.

They trickled in slowly, laughing and talking with their friends about the newest training simulation or their latest night on the town. How I envied them! Even among Vulcans I never was much for socializing. With humans, it was almost impossible to understand when they were being serious and when they weren't. I tried to return my attention to my reading material but it was difficult when my sensitive ears picked up snippets of their conversation. My facial expression stayed deceptively impassive, but it was difficult to pretend that their taunts of 'pointy ears' and 'half-breed' didn't hurt. I also wasn't amused by a group of Andorians who were taking bets on who could get the unemotional Vulcan to crack. The teasing was not nearly this bad in my other classes, perhaps because my students and I had a love for the subject in common.

By 0900, I had had enough. I called the class to order and explained that I was Admiral Morrow's replacement. Not many of the students bothered to listen to me until I threatened to keep them in class through lunch break. After that they were all ears, although I did pick up on the occasional grumble that Professor Morrow would never make them stay during lunch break.

I was just about to begin my lecture on the _Kelvin_ incident when the double doors at the back of the hall burst open with a _whoosh_. A stunningly handsome human male sauntered in amidst catcalls and whistles of admiration. I inwardly groaned. Hadn't I endured enough from the students for one day? The last thing I needed was someone who wanted to make an entrance.

I watched as the boy took his time walking down the main aisle. He high-fived a couple of his classmates in the back of the room and winked at a group of Human girls who then swooned. Had I been a full human, I would've rolled my eyes at this childish behavior. I waited for the boy to choose a row before acknowledging his presence.

"You _will_ sit up front today."

"Alright," the boy said easily. He chose a seat in the middle of the first row across from where I was standing and looked up at me expectantly. "Aren't you going to ask me why I'm late?" He had a pleasant, almost commanding voice although I did not appreciate his mocking tone.

"I was not, but perhaps you should enlighten us," I said.

"I don't need to be here for this lecture today." He gave me a winning smile, which only served to frustrate me further. How could he not wish to learn about the _Kelvin_ incident?

"Are you even aware of the topic for today's lecture?" I asked. The overconfident boy turned back to glance at the class, and then turned back to me again. Most of the students snickered, as if they were in on a joke that I was not privy to. How had the boy done that?

"We're learning about George Kirk's important contribution to Starfleet history," the boy replied, placing his arms behind his head and stretching out in his chair. He yawned lazily as he made himself comfortable. "Am I right?" More giggles ensued.

"You should not treat today's topic with such nonchalance," I growled, letting my emotions seep through my voice. "This event is perhaps one of the most significant in Starfleet History in terms of moral character. It is also a personal favorite of mine."

"Yeah… I really think I can be excused from class today," said the youth, as if he hadn't heard a single thing I said. "It's not like I don't already know this story." _What was his problem?_ I couldn't overlook his insubordination any longer.

"What is your name?" I asked, my cheeks twitching in anger.

"My name is Jim. What's yours?" The golden-haired youth smirked at me, as if daring me to question him further. The other students whispered amongst themselves – I knew they were waiting to see how I would deal with him.

"You will address me as Commander Spock," I said through tight lips. What was it about this human that irked me so? He radiated arrogance, and I would have thrown him out of my class right then had I not noticed the mischief in his icy blue eyes. At least he wasn't tormenting me out of cruelty. This human seemed to thrive on the attention from his peers, who began snickering when he began to give me a hard time. Had I not been his teacher, perhaps we could have had some interesting conversations as he appeared to be close to me in age. The boy certainly knew how to banter, that was for sure.

"Nice to meet you, Spock," said Jim, deliberately leaving out my title. Still smirking, he stuck out his hand in the traditional human greeting. I raised an eyebrow at that – he should know by now that Vulcans do not like to be touched unless absolutely necessary. But I wasn't about to let him get the best of me in front of the class. Tentatively, I moved my right hand to meet his. As he shook my hand, I unconsciously absorbed his feelings. This usually happened when I touched others, but I had never before encountered emotions of this magnitude. Enthusiasm, intense passion, pride, fear, raw pain… each one washed over me like a solar flare. I couldn't help it - I had to jerk my hand a way before I mistook his emotions for my own. Losing composure in front of my students was _not_ something I could afford to happen.

"So, am I excused?" Jim asked. He shot me a confused frown, as if he was insulted I had pulled away from his handshake sooner than what was deemed polite. I had been expecting such a remark and already had a rebuttal prepared, even though I was shaken up from making contact with his skin.

"If you believe you already know everything there is to know about the Kelvin Incident, why don't you teach the class?" I countered. That should get him to sit down.

"I think I will," said Jim with a grin as the class cheered him on. "No disrespect to you, _Spock_, but I'm more qualified to teach this topic than you are." _What? That wasn't supposed to happen! He was supposed to take a seat, thus allowing me to begin my lecture._

I suppose this instance proves that sometimes even Vulcans can be mistaken when predicting human behavior.

End Ch. 1

A/N: What do you think? Should I keep going?


	2. James T Kirk

Disclaimer: Star Trek belongs to Gene Roddenberry. The movie rights belong to J.J. Abrams and Paramount. Thanks to Zachary Quinto and Chris Pine for inspiring me to write about the young versions of Spock and Kirk!

A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed or commented on the first chapter! Feedback is such a great motivator. Now, let's turn up the intensity a bit. Angst alert! They really go for the jugular in this one, so to speak.

.~.

_Teach Me_

Ch. 2: James T. Kirk

I stood there, rooted to the floor in shock at the sheer impudence of this human. No one had ever dared to challenge me during a lecture. They knew that I could have them written up and sent to the headmaster, all without so much as batting an eyelash. As much as many of my students loathed me, they didn't want to risk receiving a demerit for such behavior. _Alright, human,_ I thought with grim satisfaction._ It will be interesting to see if you can sink or swim. _

"You may proceed," I said, my voice as calm as ever. "If you give a full and detailed lecture I may not write you a referral."

"Then I'll make sure not to leave anything out."

The human called Jim winked at me, and with a smug grin, he began his lecture. I flushed a slight green, and hoped that no one noticed. Although he frustrated me to no end, there was something about him that called to me. If I must be entirely honest, I had not wished to turn the lecture over to this human brat. But I was quite rattled from our handshake, and was terrified I might let even the slightest emotion slip during my lecture, especially with Jim right there in front of me. So I let him give lecturing a shot.

I could not understand it, but nevertheless I had felt him, mind, body, and soul. And the frightening thing was that in that instant I knew he was just as lonely and afraid as I was. How I wished to know him, truly know him, as only a friend could. I could be his confidant. I could be his anchor in a storm. I could be… incredibly illogical at times. This was something I needed to meditate on, and soon. My thoughts raced through my mind at warp speed as I tried to digest what had just occurred.

This boy, Jim, was threatening to overwhelm my sense of logic, and all because he touched my hand! Of course, if the boy had taken my course on Interspecies Ethics, he would have learned that Vulcans kiss with their fingers, which are rather sensitive. I swallowed involuntarily at that thought, and firmly drew upon the ancient Vulcan techniques to purge my mind of such inappropriate musings.

Instead I focused on listening as Jim's voice painted the picture of the _Kelvin_ incident in the most vibrant, accurate detail. True to his word, he wasn't leaving anything out. In fact, he seemed to be embellishing quite a bit. Jim was giving details that I had never heard proven to be facts, and the class was eating it up. Never before had I seen one of my classes give their full attention like this! I made a mental note to speak to him after he was finished lecturing.

Eventually, Jim's tall tale came to a close. I was about to ask him to take his seat when almost every hand in the audience shot up. I was utterly taken aback by the eagerness of this crowd to voluntarily participate in discussion.

"Yes, Gary?" Jim smiled and pointed at human sitting in the back.

"How did Captain George Kirk know that his plan would work on the Romulans?" Gary asked.

"He didn't," said Jim. "He took a gamble, and won. Of rather, he lost – it just depends on how you look at it." I took an unconscious step backwards as a wave of anguish radiated from Jim. I had no choice but to absorb it. It took all of my control not to react, to keep my features schooled into their usual mask. _What was this human doing to me? _

"Chekov, go ahead," Jim continued on as if nothing had happened. He had a tight outward grip on his emotions, I had to give him that.

"Jes, I was wondering how George Kirk came to be the keptin aboard that wessel. Er I mean, he was wery young, no?"

"You're correct," said Jim with a nod. "George Kirk was completely devoted to everything that Starfleet stood for. He worked hard and quickly advanced up through the ranks until he reached First Officer. And even though he was only captain for twelve minutes, he still holds the record for the youngest captain in Starfleet history." He paused to make sure that his spellbound audience was still paying attention. They were. Everyone in that room was enraptured by him - including me. _"That is, of course, until I break the record."_ He smirked at his adoring public, who began to murmur amongst themselves.

It was at that point that I'd had enough of his incessant boasting. I could not yet determine the cause of my strange emotional reaction to this boy, but the fact remained that he was causing trouble in my class. Someone had to put him in his place, and it looked like it was going to be me.

"I believe this has gone on long enough." Jim turned to me as if he wanted nothing more than for me to participate in the discussion.

"Spock, did you have a question for me?" Laughter rang out for the audience while the tips of my ears tinged green.

"While you did present the facts in a chronological manner, I cannot ignore your blatant embellishments. I also cannot understand how the elaborated story of the birth of George Kirk's son is significant." More laughter. Jim looked like he was about to bust in amusement as well.

"Let's just say that I found it significant to include." Jim's twinkling eyes locked with mine and I found his gaze to be rather disconcerting.

"I do not appreciate your embellishments, nor do I condone them," I said stiffly. "You will repeat your lecture, pointing out which parts you embellished and which parts you did not."

"I promise you, I haven't embellished anything," said Jim. "I have conducted… research on this topic. Many of the people who I have interviewed were George Kirk's friends who served with him on the _Kelvin_. I've also extensively interviewed Winona Kirk as to her role during the incident." The group of boys near the back which included the ones called Gary, Chekov, and a youth of Asian decent cheered and gave Jim the 'thumbs-up' sign.

"Do not lie to me," I muttered. "None of the official records mentioned anything about-"

"This isn't official business. Not to me," Jim said softly. A hush fell over the lecture hall as the students continued to watch us duke it out. I slightly shook my head at him.

"A boy like you never could have interviewed George Kirk's friends, much less his wife. It would be most illogical that they would wish to share their stories with one as insignificant as you." I sneered faintly at him. How dare he try to trivialize George Kirk, my childhood hero! If he'd actually met people who were close to George Kirk, I would renounce my Vulcan ways. "You mistakenly believe that you are special. Well, Jim, let me enlighten you. One such a you could never hope to be even half the man that George Kirk was. He was a man of selflessness and integrity, which is the furthest thing from what you are. "

Jim outwardly flinched at that – he couldn't hide that reaction from me, but he was concealing his inward pain well, which I appreciated. _There, that ought to deflate his ego a bit. No permanent damage done._ "You will take your seat." Jim didn't move a muscle. I started moving towards him but what I was going to do when I reached him I had not a clue. But then someone intervened.

"Alright, Commander Spock!" A male voice cheered from the back.

"Jim got told!" Cried another voice. I slowed my strides, looking out at the students in amazement. Never before had a student actually given me a compliment! As more and more students began to join in the taunting, I grew more bewildered. Don't get me wrong, a small part of me did enjoy the positive attention but I was more concerned as to what would cause the students to behave in such a manner. It was not logical that they would suddenly favor me. I had to be missing some vital piece of information, but what was it?

"Not so tough are we now, Kirk?" Came another jeer from the crowd. Jim turned to look at me and there was a fury in his eyes I had not conceived to be possible. _Kirk?_ Overwhelmed with guilt, I lowered my eyes. But just because I wasn't watching him didn't mean that I wasn't _feeling_ him. As he clenched his fists, I fought to absorb his mental barbs of anger as they shot carelessly toward me. _Oh no_. _No. No. NO! Please tell me I did not just humiliate George Kirk's son in front of the entire class? _But I knew there could be no other explanation. The boy was of the correct age and it would certainly explain how he knew so much inside information about that fateful night on the _Kelvin._ At that moment I tried to recall everything I had ever read about the Kirk family. _George Kirk, deceased. Wife Winona Kirk. Two sons George Samuel and James Tiberius. James! _My dark eyes widened a fraction as I put two and two together._ Jim was the Terran nickname for James! How could I have not made that connection before? _

As I watched, helpless to control the situation as it spurned out of control, Jim Kirk slunk off the stage and took the first available seat. Just watching him look so defeated was almost unbearable. I knew I had to have touched a nerve to receive this sort of reaction from James Tiberius Kirk, who embodied the confidence of his father. _What had I done?_ I wanted to rectify my mistake, but how? Surely he knew I hadn't intended to humiliate him and to accuse him of lying and to compare him to his famous father…

Just then the lunch tone sounded. Over the din of the crowd, I reminded my students of their homework for the next class. Ashamed of my unseemly behavior, I gathered my notes together, hoping to make a quick exit. I was just about to leave when my ears attuned to one haughty voice in particular.

"Who was that pointy-eared bastard?" _Is my wavelength tuned just to Jim Kirk? _Although the insult stung, I didn't blame him one bit for his less than agreeable feelings toward me. At least this would give me an excuse to speak with him and apologize. I climbed off the stage, and waded through the crowd, my ears sharply attuned to his voice until I stood there before him and his friends.

"Mr. Kirk, you will accompany me to my office." He narrowed his eyes at me as he bombarded me with sarcasm. At least I think it was sarcasm. You never can be sure with humans.

"Actually, I don't have extra time in my schedule today but maybe next week we could-" I raised an eyebrow.

"That was not a request."

"Fine," said Jim, who looked like he'd just made up his mind to go with me. As if it had been his idea all along. "Lead the way." He said a quick goodbye to his friends, who promised to save him a seat at lunch.

.~.

The sea of students parted just enough for us to get through. I strode out through the corridor, not bothering to check to see if Jim was following me. I could feel that he was. I winced as I did my best to shield myself against the hatred he was directing at me. The worst part about this whole scenario was that I knew it was all my fault. Had I not humiliated him, perhaps we could be meeting under happier circumstances.

Finally, we reached my office. I was granted entry after I placed my right hand on the scanner. After taking a quick look around, Jim made no effort to conceal his scoff at how tidy my office was. I suppose he was right – I did tend to over organize my books and science experiment data files. But when you don't have a social life, your choices to occupy your time are sadly limited.

"Have a seat." I gestured toward the rarely used chair opposite my desk.

"No thanks, I'll stand." More rebellious sarcasm, this time I'm sure of it. I swallowed hard, as it was getting very difficult being in such proximity with one who was projecting such intense emotions. But my Vulcan mask remained securely in place, for which I was grateful.

"Jim, I just wanted to-"

"Mr. Kirk," he said coldly. "You don't get to call me Jim. That's reserved for my friends only." _Ouch._ I couldn't deny that that one didn't hurt. Maybe one of these days he would find it in him to forgive me and then we could be friends. But at the moment that seemed very unlikely.

"Mr. Kirk," I relented, "Although it is very difficult for me to speak of such things, I wanted to apologize for my rude behavior during class. It was not my intention to embarrass you like that. I promise, on my honor as a Vulcan, I had no idea that you-"

"Just shut up, will you?" He growled. I did not go on, even though I so desperately wanted to. I had to let him know that I hadn't known he was George Kirk's son!

"When I first saw you today, I thought, maybe it's wrong what people say about Vulcans. Maybe he isn't cold on the inside. He must have feelings; everyone's got feelings. But after what you did to me today? I guess everyone was right. Do you have _any_ idea what it feels to live life in your father's shadow?" He was yelling by this time, and my ears were beginning to ring.

"Yes, actually," I said, letting the sadness seep through in my voice. He took an unconscious step backward from me, mimicking my actions from earlier when I had been bombarded by his pain. _He couldn't by any chance be feeling my emotions, could he? No, that's impossible,_ I told myself. _He's not a Vulcan and if he were an Empath he would know how to guard his emotions from others. Stop looking for what isn't there!_

"It's no wonder you don't have any friends." Jim shook his head at me. "You're just an empty shell. But there are times when I've seen that Vulcan control slip." I did not like where this was going. Not at all.

"Mr. Kirk, you must believe me when I say that I did not know that you were George Kirk's son. If I had known, I would have gladly let you teach the class."

"I don't believe you," he said coolly.

"Vulcans never lie," I countered. Then he gave me a chilling smirk, all devoid of former mischief. I must have badly wounded him, and now he was looking to return the favor.

"I don't think you are full Vulcan." I froze at that. Perhaps he was just bluffing, as his father did with the Romulans so many years ago. "Is it true what they say about you? That you're a half-breed? That you have human blood in you?" I stiffened at the accusation. How had he discerned so much about me in such a short period of time?

"You do not know anything about me," I said. "You do not know what it is to be Vulcan."

"I do know that you are here with us, and not studying at Vulcan Science Academy. You couldn't fit in there, and you certainly don't fit in here." _He's just trying to get a rise out of you, don't let him! _I tried not to move a muscle, really I did, but my left eye twitched. I knew that Jim had seen it. "That's it, isn't it?" He crowed. "You can't make up your mind about which you want to be."

"I am Vulcan. I caution you not to say any more," I seethed. "You do not want me as your enemy."

"Oh no, Spock, it is you who doesn't want _me_ as your enemy." He graced me with a cold glare, and I almost shivered. "I'm in a position to make your life with the students a living hell." I knew he could do it too.

"You forget that I hold influence over if you graduate from the academy, or if you fail," I reminded him. "I can think of at least one test in particular that I could… tweak and not in your favor."

"You speak of the _Kobayashi Maru_." Both my eyebrows flew up to my forehead at that revelation. How on Vulcan had he known that? He gave me his standard smirk.

"Oh, don't look so surprised, Spock. I've done plenty of research on the subject, as I intend to beat the test. Yes, I know that no one has ever done it," he added at my look of disbelief. "I also know that you're the one who designs and programs each new scenario for the test."

"Which means I can design something especially unique for you," I said, growing more confident in the fact that I had a stake in Kirk's academic future.

"Design away," Jim said flippantly. "You'd be wasting your time. I _will _beat that test one of these days. I'll prove to you that it can be done."

We just stood there for the longest time, each staring the other down. After closely studying his face, I could no longer could I deny to myself how attractive he was. The air almost seemed to crackle between us as his burning gaze linked with mine. I could have stared at him for hours and not get tired of the game, but I had a pressing appointment right after the lunch break. And the lunch break was almost over. So, begrudgingly, I broke the silence. Logic won out. With me it always did.

"We seem to be in deadlock," I observed. "I have power over you, and you have power over me."

"It seems that we are destined to be rivals, then," said Jim. He didn't appear to mind the idea in the slightest.

"It seems so," I agreed.

"Well," Jim mused as he leaned in towards me. Although he was invading my personal space, I was powerless to move away. And worst of all, he knew it! Jim's eyes flashed with bitter triumph as he whispered in my ear, "I always enjoy a challenge." His hot breath on my sensitive ear caused an involuntary shudder through out my entire being.

Then he turned on his heel and left my office, shutting the door just a little bit harder than necessary. I let out a quiet moan at the loss, disgusted by my reaction to his treatment of me. Was I really this starved for attention? By all rights, I should hate him. So why does it feel like he took a piece of me with him when he left? I recalled the warning in my dream about the elder Spock from this morning, and knew that, without a doubt, I had finally met _him_.

For better or for worse.

A/N: Thoughts, questions, comments? Feedback is most welcome.


	3. The Game

Disclaimer: Star Trek belongs to Gene Roddenberry. The movie rights belong to J.J. Abrams and Paramount. Thanks to Zachary Quinto and Chris Pine for inspiring me to write about the young versions of Spock and Kirk!

A/N: Again, thanks to all my wonderful reviewers. You all sound so enthusiastic, lol. I'm pretty proud of this next chapter cause it's definitely more slashy than the first two. My plan is to post the fourth and final chapter before I go see Star Trek late this Thursday. Only 2 days left… I can barely contain my excitement as I watch Zach and Chris's interviews this week. Lord help me when I actually sit down to watch the movie...

I hope you guys like this one!

Ch. 3: The Game

The past three years after my initial encounter with George Kirk's son flew by in a blur. I was in my final year at Starfleet Academy and frankly I just wanted to be finished. As if things weren't bad enough with the teasing I'd had to endure from most of the students (thanks to a certain brash human male) my workload had almost stretched me to my limits. Teaching several sessions of two courses as well as designing variations of the _Kobayashi Maru_ test program was taxing enough, and to top it off I had my scientific studies to continue. Even for a Vulcan, the stress level was sometimes unbearable. But I knew it was worth it – for when I had attained the needed credentials, I would be given an assignment on as starship!

Thanks to my rigorous schedule, I barely had any time to myself for meditation and recreation. My duties as president of the Three-dimensional Chess Association took up many of my weekends as I endeavored to teach new minds about the complexity of the game. It was my one refuge where I could relax somewhat being surrounded by fellow intellectuals. As I was the reigning chess Grandmaster, the other club members treated me with the utmost respect. Knowing that some service I provided was valued by others helped me get through some difficult times. But all that changed when _he_ decided to invade the one place where I truly belonged.

I remember the day well when he swaggered in to my domain, emotions blazing at full power as usual. It took a great deal of effort to mentally shield myself from him, especially when he trained those eyes on me. Then he graced me with his trademark smirk, the one that secretly made me go weak in the knees. But I knew that he and I could never be. I wasn't about to let my emotions get the best of me and allow myself to become one of the many short-lived conquests of Jim Kirk.

Then of course he had to go and impress me yet again with his keen intellect. Jim Kirk is certainly no slouch at chess. That much I learned upon our first shared game together. He was fiercely competitive and so was I. I was bound by my responsibilities as president to teach him alternatives strategies and maneuvers. I cannot lie and say that I did not enjoy those times shared between he and I. Soon Kirk was playing almost at my level. There were intimate moments during our games where I almost felt like Mr. Kirk enjoyed my company, but those moments passed quickly as we rebuilt our defenses. Outside of the chess club, we remained bitter rivals as usual.

When time came to sign up for the annual Starfleet Three-dimensional chess tournament, Mr. Kirk entered the contest as I knew he would. Not surprisingly, the final game came down to a match between Mr. Kirk and myself. It had been extremely difficult for me to keep my emotions in check during the match, as Mr. Kirk had employed an alternative strategy, one that was almost my undoing. He subtly would catch my eye and I was unnerved by the invisible connection that inevitably flared between us. When I would make my moves on the board, his hand would reach out to brush mine as he immediately made a move after me. Each time our fingers brushed I was flooded with a full range of his emotions. If that weren't bad enough, he would also sporadically lick his lips when he knew I was watching. I have to give him points for creativity, as his was a very effective strategy.

But eventually my logic prevailed and I was able to win the match. But when I rose to shake his hand in congratulations, I couldn't help but immediately recoil from the seductive promise of his touch. Kirk smirked in triumph as our audience began to speculate on why Commander Spock was acting so rudely towards his defeated opponent. As he walked away shooting me one last gaze, why did I feel like I'd won the match but not the game?

But all of this havoc that Kirk had created in my life was nothing compared to what he'd done today. Today, James T. Kirk had set a new Starfleet record. He succeeded against a supposedly unbeatable test program, the _Kobayashi Maru_, a program that he knew that I designed. That alone was enough cause for my anger. Yet Kirk hadn't stopped there. When he reprogrammed the test, he had to make his revenge personal, changing the planet in distress to Vulcan, home planet of his ship's science officer. The implied meaning of this was not lost on me, nor other members of the board. I believed that was the extent of his damage, but I was dead wrong. After Cadet Kirk had saved the crew of his starship in the test, he stowed away with said science officer in an escape pod. The tiny two-person shuttle shot them and the critical Starfleet military secrets safely out of reach of the Klingons and deep into the rocky surface of the red planet. In short, he'd conveniently marooned us in a cave on Vulcan. It was too embarrassing a scenario for me to contemplate further…

To my complete frustration, the Starfleet board had commended Mr. Kirk for his original thinking. I was the only one in the room that did not offer my congratulations. After all, he had deliberately embarrassed me with his reprogramming of the test. Due to this infraction, I felt that it was within my rights to request a private meeting with Mr. Hotshot.

"Cadet Kirk." His golden head spun around at the sound of my voice.

"Why hello, Spock," he said, his blue eyes blazing with mischief. "I didn't even know you were here." _Right._ Every time we were in close proximity we could feel it. It was a seventh sense that I'd found extremely distracting during the past three years.

"There is no need for false pretenses," I stiffly replied. "I wish to see you in my office to discuss exactly how you overrode my programming so I can correct my security measures for the next training group." He nodded and turned to address the board members, presumably to ask permission to leave.

"Excuse me everyone, but I am being summoned," Kirk explained. From his sly tone of voice I knew there was going to be trouble. "Spock and I need some alone time so I'm afraid you're going to have to carry on without me." The board members had a good chuckle at that while I nearly boiled over. I did the only thing that I knew to do in such a situation – I hightailed it out of there. I could feel Kirk's presence about 1.6 meters behind me as he chased me into my office.

The door slid closed behind us as we tried to catch our breath. At that moment I could case less about suppressing my emotions as he had pushed me past my limits. James T. Kirk was about to receive the wrath of one very angry Vulcan! He tried to move out of the way but I was too quick for him. Hands shaking with fury, I grabbed him by the shoulders and held him up against the wall.

"Is this what you wanted?" I growled. "To humiliate me beyond belief? To cause me to show emotion?" Kirk wisely remained silent. I shook my head in disgust. "If that was your intent, then you have succeeded." I glared at him, waiting for what was no doubt going to be a smart-aleck answer.

"That was my intention at the beginning," he finally admitted. I didn't loosen by grip on him, not for a second. He wasn't getting away before he explained everything. "But as I got to know who you really were, my motives changed."

"You do not know me," I said, allowing a tinge of sadness to seep through in my voice. "I am not even considered to be your friend." Kirk chewed on his lower lip and once again I unconsciously absorbed his pain from that accusation.

"I wouldn't necessarily say that's true," he mused. "Don't our times spent playing chess count for something?" _If only that were so_, I thought. Nevertheless, I felt my anger beginning to fade.

"Mr. Kirk, every member of Starfleet knows that you - what is the Terran expression - 'hate my guts' thanks to our disastrous first meeting."

"Everyone is wrong," he said calmly. "I realized that you didn't know I was George Kirk's son at the time and if you had known you would have understood my behavior. I forgave you for that a long time ago." His acceptance of what had passed between us bathed me in a warmth I hadn't felt since I last hugged my mother in early childhood. I reveled in the feeling for a moment before I came back to myself, trying to conceal my shock.

"You did?" Kirk nodded. Slowly I set him down but I did not remove my hands from his shoulders. "Then why did you make me suffer so these past few years?"

"Because I knew that the only way that I could get you to fully recognize the depth of our connection is if I got you angry enough. It was the only way to break through your logical façade." He smiled wryly at my look of surprise. "And it looks as if my plan finally succeeded."

"You feel it too," I whispered, finally daring to speak of what we both already knew.

"How could I _not_ feel it?" He countered, giving me a smile so bright that it could melt even the coldest, unfeeling heart. I swayed a bit at his initial outburst of emotion – the affection he felt for me was most overwhelming. His strong arms steadied me, resting comfortably on my shoulders. "Spock, just being around you has been just… intoxicating."

He closed his eyes briefly and then reopened them. "It was torture knowing that I could have anyone else I wanted but not the one who I truly desired." My eyes grew wide at his admonition and I had to stifle a gasp that was threatening to escape. "Yes, Spock. It's you," he breathed. "Since the day we met it's always been you. And since I knew you would not want me in your present state, I found gratification elsewhere. Hence, the women." I nodded slowly. Suddenly his risky human behavior was beginning to make sense.

"But Mr. Kirk," I protested. "You –"

"Please call me Jim," he begged. "It's what all my friends call me. All this Mr. Kirk business is getting annoying."

"I am… your friend?" I hesitated. He nodded, his expression as serious as I'd seen it.

"You have been for years. I've just hid it well."

"Jim," I said, blushing at how much joy I felt just at being allowed to use and speak his first name. "You are not telepathic by nature. I do not understand how you can sense my emotions." He smiled.

"Do you believe in dreams, Spock?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Vulcans do not dream."

"No, but humans do. And… part humans as well," he added. "Do you believe that dreams hold some sort of value?" I nodded cautiously.

"Perhaps certain dreams are an answer to questions we do not yet know how to ask." I waited patiently for him to explain further.

"Spock, I had a dream… about us."

"Us?" I asked hoarsely.

"Yes. Only it was us in an alternate universe. We'd forged a permanent connection so that we were both receptive to each other's thoughts and feelings." _A Vulcan lifebond of some sort! What other explanation could it be?_ I almost grew dizzy at the mere thought.

"So since we had this- ," I paused to clear my throat, "this _bond_ in another universe, we would have some form of it in this one?"

"Something like that," said Jim. "I don't fully understand it myself. But I do remember that I'd been cruelly parted from you in that universe and I wasn't about to let it happen again." I flushed at the intensity of his revelation, as I'd experienced similar dreams about us.

"We may not be meant to understand it," I mused. "It is enough to know that it exists."

"Yes," he agreed. "The question is now that we are aware of this connection, what do we do about it?"

It was during that second that I became acutely aware of how close we were standing. I watched a bead of sweat trickle down his forehead and without thinking reached up to brush it away. Jim trembled slightly at my cool touch. I realized I must be sweating as well. As the fascinating smell of him threatened to overwhelm my senses, I had to mentally recite the principles of Surak to keep my thoughts on the present situation. _Hadn't he asked me a question?_ I tried in vain to remember it. When I recalled his question I blamed his advances for my temporary loss of memory.

"To start with, I believe it would be most prudent to strengthen our friendship." A safe answer, if not the one he was hoping for.

"A most logical idea, Spock." We locked eyes again. "And after that?" I couldn't meet his eyes.

"I could not say."

"Do you trust me, Spock?" I did. As illogical as it might sound, I would give my life to save his if the need ever arose.

"Strangely, I believe I do."

"Hold out your hand and close your eyes." I took a few steps away from him, bringing my arms to my sides. Hesitating briefly, I raised my right arm towards him and shut my eyes.

Without warning, he tightly grasped my hand in both of his. This action threw open our connection and I was flooded with the full spectrum of his emotions which took up residence in my chest. (I could only assume the same phenomenon was occurring on his end, but my senses told me it was.) Our simple act was a conduit for a transfer of pure energy between two beings who had been so desperately lonely for most of their lives. As odd as it may seem, at that moment I felt complete. It was rather unexpected for me to feel as such as we weren't even sharing our minds. And yet it wasn't unexpected at all. I had finally found what I hadn't realized I'd been searching for, and I found it in the unlikely human source of Jim Kirk. _Such a simple, wonderful feeling…_

Then he relaxed his firm grip on my hand and began to lightly trail the tips of his fingers over the back of my hand. His gentle touch rendered me completely helpless and my head began to loll backwards as I experienced a sensation similar to that of weightlessness in zero gravity. Turning my hand over so that he could have better access, he brushed his index and middle finger across my fleshy palm in the perfect imitation of a Vulcan kiss. As I was not in my right mind, I responded in kind by rubbing my two fingers against his. Our fingertips met in a searing explosion of fire as we both bit back a moan. My logic just _had_ to choose that moment to kick back in. Where had it been just moments before? My logic had failed me just when I had needed it most. Or had it? As these thoughts warred in my head, Jim Kirk continued to stroke my fingers with his.

_What was I doing? _I could not allow this to go on. According to certain Vulcan biological functions of mine, I was in enough trouble as it was!

"Stop," I cried out, my eyes flying open to find a very worried (and flushed) Jim Kirk before me.

"Spock, what's wrong?" I could feel his genuine concern for me and knew this was no simple seduction attempt on his part. He wanted more, perhaps more than I could give at present.

"Jim, I-I cannot continue," I choked out, frightened by my own animalistic reaction. "There is much you must learn about Vulcans before we pursue this course of action, pleasurable though it may be." I prepared myself for his ultimate disappointment in me, but nothing could have prepared me for what he said next.

"You mean about mind-melding, lifebonds, and your time of Pon Farr?" If Vulcans swore, I would've sworn that Jim Kirk would some day be the death of me. _He knew!_ Somehow, Jim knew about all of the complications that could force us apart, and yet he seemed unconcerned. "I know Vulcans don't do casual relationships," he continued. "And believe me, Spock, this is anything but casual."

"How did you…" I was at a loss of words.

"How did I know about those things?" He smirked yet again. "Research, my friend. Lots of research. I have a certain way of persuasion that helps me to attain what I want." I raised an eyebrow at him for that, as I certainly knew that first hand. He laughed softly, a slow rich laugh that I wished to hear again and again.

Suddenly the communication console beeped.

"Headmaster to Commander Spock. Please report to my office within the next five standard minutes."

"They're calling you," Jim whispered.

"Affirmative." And yet I made no move to go.

"Don't leave, Spock." I knew he was not referring to my summons from the headmaster. "I don't think I could take that kind of rejection. I don't open up like this to just anyone." I knew. I hoped he knew the same was true for me as well.

"You have just returned to me," I softly replied. "It would be illogical for me to discard your loyalty and your trust." _And affection…such deep affection._

"I'll be right here when you get back," Jim promised. "That is, if it's alright with you."

"I would like nothing better than to spend more time with you," I said honestly. He grinned at me.

"I'm glad. Perhaps we could play our first round of chess as real friends. You can teach me all the tactical information you've been withholding from me." He shot me a wink.

"I would be most interested in learning your strategies as well, Jim," I responded in kind. "Perhaps you could teach _me _something for a change." I shot him the Vulcan version of a smirk and exited my office before I could change my mind. I hurried down the corridor to take care of my obligation. If I had anything to say about it, this was going to be the shortest meeting I'd ever had in my entire Starfleet career.

Jim, my friend, was waiting for me.

End Ch. 3

A/N: Let me know what you thought! It's really hard to capture the essence of Kirk and Spock 2.0's relationship before seeing the movie so I took my best guess. I hope it works!

P.S. You have actually just read a minor spoiler for the movie but I had no idea that was the case when I wrote it. I actually came up with that idea on my own, I'm proud to say. PM me if you're curious what it was.


	4. Following Orders

Disclaimer: Star Trek belongs to Gene Roddenberry. The movie rights belong to J.J. Abrams and Paramount, and writers Orci and Kurtzman. Thanks to Zachary Quinto and Chris Pine for inspiring me to write about the young versions of Spock and Kirk!

A/N: Okay so I'm about to leave to see Star Trek! If there's a lot of mistakes I'm sorry I just wanted to get this uploaded now. It has some minor spoilers but it's a good lead in for the movie.

_Teach Me_

Ch. 4: Following Orders

As I jogged down the corridor, my usually well-catalogued thoughts began to wander. Instead of focusing on why I had been summoned, they rested on my most illuminating encounter with my former archrival. Normally I would've deemed such behavior to be highly illogical but what had just transpired between he and I had not been a normal encounter. I had just found my other half, my reason for breathing_. Jim!_ After this meeting was over, nothing could stop me from-

"Ah, Spock, I'm glad that you're here."

Had I arrived already? I jumped a little at the headmaster's voice as he ushered me into his office. I was surprised to find that several other students had been called to the meeting as well. I recognized my protégé, Uhura, standing next to Cadet Sulu, and that young genius Chekov. A grumpy looking medical officer stood near the back of the room, glaring at everyone. I greeted Uhura, who gave me a worried smile. I sensed that she was nervous about what the headmaster had to say.

"Uhura, have you been made privy to the nature of this meeting?" I asked. She shook her head.

"No. But I did heard a rumor about a distress call coming from Vu-" That was when the headmaster began to speak.

"No doubt you are all wondering why I called you here." We all nodded politely. "I'm afraid I have some good news and some bad news, especially for you, Commander Spock. I'll give you the bad news first..."

.~.

_Five minutes later_

I managed to leave the room without anyone noticing my absence. Why did this have to happen now?! My logic was failing me, and I knew that if I didn't see Jim soon my emotions would overwhelm me. Jim would know what to do. He could fix this. But I didn't see how…

Staggering down the hall, I breathed a bit easier as I saw that it was devoid of people. Good. No one could see me like this; no one but him. Somehow I made it back to my office, where he was still waiting for me just as he'd promised. I felt him before I entered, and he caught me as I fell inside.

"Spock!" Jim pulled my shaking form inside and shut the door. "What is it?" I simply let him hold me close, drawing upon some of his strength to calm myself. I reveled in the feeling, hating that it would be over all to soon.

"I cannot...Jim...too...difficult..." I trailed off, biting back an anguished cry. How could I explain this to him when I didn't fully understand it myself? I knew I must get control over my emotions, if only to explain myself to Jim. It was not fair to him to keep him waiting in suspense.

"Please try," he said softly. "I want to help you." His voice shook with emotion. "Let me help you, Spock." _How can I refuse that voice?_

"I have been given what I wanted, Jim," I said, my voice sounding rather hollow. "I've just been appointed as Science Officer on a starship." Kirk's blue eyes grew wide with envy. And was that fear I spied in their depths? Fear for me?

"Which starship?" He wanted to know. I frowned. This was going to hurt him.

"The _Enterprise_." A wave of pain shot toward me as Jim digested this information.

"Is there any way I could be allowed to join this mission?" I shook my head.

"No. Everyone who was assigned to the mission was present during the briefing. I'm sorry, Jim." His hands crawled up and down my back, soothing my rigid tensions that built up from stress. Here Jim had just found out that I was going to live his dreams, and he was more worried about caring for me than his own feelings. How could I have ever thought of him as selfish?

"It's not your fault, Spock." Jim had always had a strange fascination with the new ship U.S.S. _Enterprise_. Everyone in Starfleet knew about it. He was always talking about how he was going to captain that starship someday but no one took him seriously. "When do you leave?" he asked.

"Tomorrow," was my grim answer.

"Tomorrow?" Kirk swallowed hard. He was fighting to keep his fear under control, which I greatly appreciated. Dealing with my own uncertainties was bad enough. If his got added to mine, I would not be able to shield myself from the combined pain. "How long will you be gone?"

"I believe after our initial mission we will be sent directly into deep space for five years."

"Five years?" Jim hugged me tighter and I let him. I did not want him to let go. For the first time since I left the care of my mother, I had found a home in James T. Kirk. And how would I thank him? By doing the very thing I promised I wouldn't. I had to leave Jim behind. I noted the irony of the situation, feeling like I was trapped in one of those old Terran movies where the lovers were forced to be apart for all eternity.

"Jim, I do not wish to take this mission, even though it is my duty to do so," I whispered. "I know this may sound illogical, but I wish to stay where you are."

"You'll always be with me even if you're halfway across the galaxy," he insisted. "But I can see how this distance might be a problem." I shuddered against him, and he helped me to sit down on the floor. He sat behind me, arms encircling my waist. "Spock, I can't let you give up your position for me. You've worked too hard to earn it."

"Yes," I replied sadly. "I understand, Jim. Do not worry. I will be going, no matter how I wish to remain with you. I am bound by duty." Kirk flinched as he absorbed my anguish.

"There's something else, isn't there." I nodded.

"It's Vulcan, Jim. Starfleet received a distress call."

"No!" Kirk gasped, looking at me with new alarm. "Oh no, Spock." I nodded, my expression grim as I tried to hold in all of my apprehension about the impending attack on my home planet and what it might bring.

"Someone is attacking Vulcan and the _Enterprise_ is the only ship available that can defend my homeworld! Vulcan is a peaceful planet, we have no defenses to ward off a large scale attack. I must go and help protect my planet - I do not have a choice."

"Then I'm going with you," he vowed.

"You cannot," I protested. "For one thing, you do not have enough experience to be of much use. For another, you would be breaching Starfleet policy." Kirk shrugged.

"It's not like I haven't done that before." His fingers were trailing along my neck now, and it was getting harder to concentrate on what he was saying which may have been his intent. "Spock, I'll stow away on the ship somehow. Once the _Enterprise_ warps out, they will have no choice but to allow me to stay for the time being. They won't have time to turn around, not with the severity of the situation."

"I appreciate the sentiment, but I cannot have you risk your career in Starfleet for me," I declared. "It would be most illogical." Kirk leaned me back so that my head rested on his chest.

"To some people, this is illogical." And then his lips touched my forehead. Such a tender moment! I knew I would remember this for the rest of my life. My first human kiss! It wasn't on the lips, but it was still a kiss. "Spock, I'm not giving this up," Kirk vowed, his fingers caressing my face. "I can't. I won't. Not when we still have much to discover about each other. How could I throw away something this special?" He gazed at me as if I might break "Spock, I still wish to bond with you!" I tensed at that. _If only… oh, if only!_

"Do not speak of such things that we cannot have," I growled, sitting up and turning around to face him. "I will not ask you to wait five years for me."

"I won't be waiting, Spock," Kirk sighed, exasperated. "I. Am. Stowing. Aboard. The. _Enterprise_."

"But I cannot allow-" I protested.

"End of discussion," he snapped. He stared me straight in the eye. "And I can be of use to you. Spock, I beat the damn _Kobayashi Maru_! I have the ability to think out of the box, to think of solutions to problems that most people would never consider. I don't do things by the book, and you'll need someone like that aboard the _Enterprise_." He had a point but I did not wish for his life to be in jeopardy on my account.

"I do not want you to risk your life, Jim. The mission will be extremely dangerous." Kirk rolled his eyes.

"I live for danger, Spock. You know that! It's one of the reasons why I joined Starfleet, where my daredevil tendencies might be put to good use. The other reason was the _Enterprise_. One evening I saw that ship being built, and she captivated me. I wanted to have her so badly! The very next morning I signed up for the Academy, at Captain Pike's urging."

"Pike is captaining the _Enterprise_ for this mission," I informed him. "Perhaps if you did stow away he would let you stay on indefinitely."

"I know he would." Kirk smirked at me, and I shivered under his gaze. "He thinks I have what it takes to be captain someday, Spock! I would be living my dream if I stowed away on _Enterprise_. I would have valuable experience aboard her, and I would have you." I gave a dejected sigh. What he said made sense, but he was still missing a vital piece of information.

"Jim, there is still something about this mission that I have withheld from you."

"I'm all ears," he said, reaching out to feel my own. His feather-light touch filled me with a pleasant, tickling sensation. _Ah, Jim! My *t'hy'la!_ But I could only endure his sweet torture for so long. "I love your ears, Spock," he breathed, his voice low and seductive. "They're so-"

"Jim!" I pulled away and glared at him but we both knew I didn't mean anything by it. "Stop distracting me! You must focus."

"Focus - yes. I'm sorry, Spock. What were you saying?" He winked at me and we shared a feeling of mutual affection. I knew he was only trying to make light of the situation, for both of our sakes.

"Jim, Vulcan is being attacked by Romulans. The Romulan leader in particular is bent on having his revenge on the one Vulcan who made him lose everything that was dear to him."

"That's awful, Spock. That guy sounds like a sicko." His arms tightened around me again and I appreciated his support. "Is the Romulan leader after your father, the ambassador to Earth?" I shook my head.

"No. As illogical as this may sound, it is _me _that he hopes to destroy."

_"You?"_ Jim automatically squeezed my hand. "Too bad, he can't have you," he spat. Had the situation not been so dire, I believe I would have enjoyed this protective campaign of Jim's. "Besides, what would a Romulan want with you? You haven't even had contact with them!"

"You are correct," I agreed. "However, the headmaster believes that this Romulan has gone back in time to have his revenge on my younger self."

"So you are going to do something later in your life that will really piss this guy off?" Kirk gave me a teasing smile. "That doesn't sound like you at all."

"You are correct," I replied, pretending to ignore his attempt at humor. "But nevertheless, my future action will cause a hostile reaction in this Romulan, resulting in time travel. However, what this action changes in our universe will remain to be seen. Time travel and its effects on the future and the past is a difficult concept for even Vulcans to grasp."

"_I_ certainly don't understand it completely," said Jim with a shrug. "So we just have to be extra careful that this Romulan guy doesn't get a hold of you?" I inwardly grimaced. Here came the hard part.

"No, Jim. I am afraid it is not that simple. According to Headmaster Barnett, the Romulan does not wish to only kill me. He wishes to make me suffer as I have made him suffer. He wants to rid me of the one I am closest too, just as he lost his wife." Jim stared at me blankly. I raised an eyebrow, surprised he hadn't kept up with this train of thought. "I'm talking about you, Jim."

"I know that," Jim said, sounding impatient. "I'm way ahead of you, Spock. In fact, I believe I may have the perfect solution for our probelm. While onboard the _Enterprise_, why don't we just pretend that we hate each other's guts?"

"Like in a play?" I wondered, thinking that if the situation wasn't so distressing I would find the experience to be educational.

"Yes, Spock, exactly. We'll play act." Kirk got that determined look in his eye whenever he was fine-tuning an idea. "We'll stage fights between us. I'll disobey your orders. In short, we will convince the Romulan that by his time traveling alone, he has disrupted the space-time continuum and prevented you from having me. This way he might believe that he has already won his personal vendetta against you. It won't stop him from wanting to destroy your planet, but it could stop him from wishing to hurt you through me."

"You know, it just might work," I mused. "We would still need a strong reason to hate each other."

"I know!" Kirk grinned at me. "We could fight over the same girl! For example, your protégé Uhura sure is-"

"Yes," I interrupted quickly. "That could work." I did not wish to hear what he thought about the stunning Uhura.

"Spock, you know I was only joking, right?" I raised an eyebrow at him. "I can't help what I am, Spock," he confessed. "I love to flirt with women. It is a skill that has helped me find a solution to a problem on more than one occasion. But know that my heart, as well as my mind, are always in your hands." He gazed at me tenderly and I could've sworn that my heart skipped a beat._ What a fascinating response he elicits in me! I believe this merits further study, time permitting._

"Indeed," was all I said, but I knew that Jim could feel my overwhelming relief. "I believe that Lt. Uhura would be willing to help us."

"Good," said Jim, nodding. "You know, we may be forced to be at each other's throats during the day, but we could still be together at night." Kirk's bold statement caused me to blush. "I don't know about you, but I don't think I could take it, seeing you and not being able to do this."

And then he cradled my face with his hands, and his lips met mine in a gentle human kiss. What was more, was that I let him. I was overwhelmed by the raging scent pouring off of him, of musk blended with his natural pheromones. It was a dangerous combination, as it stripped me of my logic. Stunned, I mimicked his actions, hoping that I was doing it correctly. His soft, warm lips caressed mine with practiced precision, eliciting a distinct elevation of my heart rate and body temperature. I was floating again, just like I had when we'd kissed with our fingers. All too soon, he pulled away. "What did you think?" He whispered. Why did he bother to ask when he already knew by my physical reaction to him? _How illogical, _I thought wryly._ Illogical, but endearing_.

"Most pleasurable," I replied, causing him to laugh. I was very fond of that laugh and wished that he would laugh more often in the future. "But Jim, as much as I want to, we cannot be together on the ship," I insisted. "I do not want anyone to risk seeing us together until we have the Romulan situation under control."

"Logical, as always," Jim grumbled. "I suppose you are right, Spock. We'll just have to suffer through it. Now what do you say we figure out how to get me aboard that ship?"

.~.

Jim and I devised a foolproof plan to stow him on board the _Enterprise_ involving a friend of his, the grumpy medical officer I met earlier, McCoy. Once we were on board the ship, we would continue to act as sworn enemies. We would not be able to express our newfound love until the Romulan threat was eradicated. But that did not matter. I knew Jim would be coming with me, and that was much better than the alternative. Jim and I would survive this mission together, and afterwards we would bond in the Vulcan tradition. And then I would have the life of which I'd always dreamed! A shared life with the one I respected, valued, and loved over all other beings in this or any other universe.

A life with James T. Kirk, my better half.

End Ch. 4

_* T'hy'la - Vulcan word which has a triple meaning of friend, brother, and lover. Gene Roddenberry created it, and it's perfect for Kirk and Spock!_

A/N: Hope you liked my pre-movie fic! I will be continuing it for possibly up to ten chapters. After that, look for a new longer, slashier, post Star Trek movie K/S fic coming very soon from Spirktrekker!

P.S. I saw the movie tonight (after I posted this) and it was AMAZING. There is definitely some slashy subtext! Did anyone notice how Chris Pine REALLY overacted after he did THAT with Nimoy? It makes you wonder if Kirk knew something we didn't. Hehe.


	5. Tensions Build

Disclaimer: Star Trek belongs to Gene Roddenberry. The movie rights belong to J.J. Abrams and Paramount. Thanks to Zachary Quinto and Chris Pine for inspiring me to write about the young versions of Spock and Kirk!

A/N: Because you guys asked so nicely, I decided to go ahead and include how my fic plays out in terms of the movie. And, since so many of you requested that I also tell the story from Kirk's point of view, I'm doing that as well. Hopefully I can pull it off! I'm going to try to stay as true to the canon of the movie as possible, but I'll add my own interpretations and lines at times to keep you all on your toes! Have fun.

Edit: Actually you guys might want to skim this one. It's kind of a filler, and besides the good stuff happens in chapter six!

_Teach Me_

Ch. 5: Tensions Build

(Kirk POV)

Last night I'd spent the night in Spock's quarters. I'd convinced him that he was too emotionally compromised to be left alone, and so he let me stay. I held him through the night as he worried what would become of Vulcan. When I awoke in the morning, Spock was already gone. I couldn't blame him – a goodbye, or even a non-goodbye would be something he'd want to avoid. As I rolled out of bed and prepared to meet the demands of the day, I thought about what lay ahead for Spock and I. If we were lucky, everything would go according to plan.

A couple minutes later, I hauled my ass down to the mess hall. As I ate my eggs and bacon I watched as all of the cadets were given their starship assignments. As most of the fleet was halfway across the galaxy, Starfleet had no choice but to send us greenhorns to assist in the effort to protect Vulcan. I listened as my buds Sulu and Chekov discussed the finer technical aspects of the _Enterprise_ and how lucky they were to be stationed on the new pride of Starfleet. They hadn't even noticed that my name hadn't been called, that I hadn't been given an assignment. Some friends... Ironically, it had been Spock who had grounded me for beating his test but I didn't give a shit about my official status at the moment. All I cared about was getting on board the _Enterprise_ without incident and putting the plan that Spock and I had made last night into action.

Thankfully the first stage of our plan went off without a hitch. My good buddy Bones didn't fail me when I asked him to risk his career to sneak me aboard. Somehow I persuaded the good doctor that it was imperative to the mission to sneak me aboard the _Enterprise_. Which he did, using a rather unorthodox - if not painful - idea.

About fifteen minutes later I found myself en route to the _Enterprise_, but I was too damn sick to enjoy the ride. Bones had injected me with a vaccine against mud fleas, which gave me the symptoms of said affliction. Already I'd lost vision in one eye, my head was pounding, and I was sweating like a pig. Not to mention the dizziness. That was the worst because I had to lean on Bones to get around. (Jim Kirk does not like to depend on anyone for anything, anytime.) But in this case, I had no choice. I was at least grateful it was Bones, who I trusted enough to give my life's history, including the harsh treatment I'd endured at the hands of my stepfather. He and I had been through a lot together, and he had spoken to me of his ex-wife, something he hadn't done with anyone else. In an unspoken agreement, we pledged our loyalty to one another. He would stick by me through thick and thin, and I would do the same for him. I'd never felt closer to another man before... that was, until _Spock_ happened. I'd seen him briefly from afar this morning, calmly debating with Uhura. He'd been wearing his science uniform shirt, you know the royal blue one where it hugged his chest? And the standard pants that showcased his - _uh oh... _

At the moment, I was also experiencing another side effect (at least I think it's a side effect, but it could be just a coincidence.) This effect caused me to react quite strongly to several beautiful women. Through my haze, all I could think of was that I'd better not run into Spock. Who knew how I would react if I saw him, felt him? Jumping his bones and begging to meld with him in front of half the crew would _not_ be suitable behavior for a cadet, especially one who was on academic probation.

Bones guided me through the crowd towards the turbolifts. I thought I had handled the situation rather admirably, that is, until a pleasant shock coursed through my veins, caused by _his _presence. _Dammit, Spock! You just had to pass this way…_ McCoy noticed my stiffening posture and followed my gaze to Spock across the room.

"Hell, it's that pointy-eared hobgoblin," McCoy muttered, incorrectly interpreting my reaction to my Vulcan. "This way." He steered me away from Spock, for which I was grateful and yet furious. I had this overwhelming need to touch Spock but McCoy wouldn't let me. For his part, Spock put on a stellar performance of ignoring me. Outwardly, that is. Inwardly he was quite thrilled and frightened to see me. I felt my arousal at the sight of him reflected back to me with double the intensity. I knew it was Spock's promise of things to come, something I would just have to wait for until the Romulan issue was resolved.

The problem is that I absolutely _hate _waiting for things that I want. I'm not used to it, as I usually find a way to obtain what I want. I'll even lie, cheat, or steal if I have to, although lately I've been succeeding solely by relying on my charm. Spock was the exception to the rule – I had to wait three years just to break through that stubborn Vulcan façade of his! But it had been more than worth the wait. However, if this kept up, if we kept running in to each other without warning, I just might snap. I wouldn't be surprised if one of these days my reserve broke and I ended up compromising Spock in one of the turbolifts. I could just imagine explaining that one to Starfleet if we got caught. _Well, Admiral Barnett, sir, as Vulcans are known to do, Commander Spock was feeling rather cold. I took it upon myself to warm him up by having mad sex with him in the turbolift._ Oh yes, that would go over nicely.

Finally, Bones and I arrived at Sick Bay. I was so doped up by that point that I kept staring at the nurses's chests but all I really wanted was Spock and it was just frustrating as hell. Back in the hangar, I had absorbed his still-present fear for the citizens of Vulcan. All I wanted to do was remind him that whatever happened he would still have me, just like I did last night. I couldn't understand his intense connection to Vulcan when most of his kind treated him with scorn, but that's Spock for you. Beneath his mask of logic lurked a being who cared too much for everyone and everything that those feelings of compassion threatened to overwhelm him. I could never be as compassionate as Spock if I tried.

That was when Bones stuck me with yet another hypo, this time a tranquilizer. The last thing I thought of before I faded into unconsciousness was a pair of dark, exotic eyes...

.~.

When I woke a bit later, I overheard an announcement by Chekov that the ship was heading into a lightning storm. If I wasn't suddenly paralyzed with terror I would've laughed at the Russian's attempt to pronounce the letter V. (Somehow I knew that Spock would be less than pleased by the reference to his home planet of Wulcan.)

_Shit,_ I thought. _I have to warn Captain Pike! _I of all people knew the devastating effects of the only previously recorded lightning storm in space.

"Ah, Jim, you're awake."

I winced as I pulled myself off the bed into a standing position. Bones told me to take it easy but Spock's life and everyone else's aboard this ship was in danger! I would rest later. But then Bones called attention to my hands, which had swelled up to the size of grapefruits. "I've never seen a side effect like that before," my friend and doctor commented as I made my escape. "Jim! Now wait a minute. I need to keep your heart rate down…" I barely heard him. _Spock! Oh please, let me be fast enough…_ I frantically asked the computer to locate Uhura, as she could back up my theory as to the impending danger of the storm.

Thanks to the computer, it didn't take long to find her, and even though I experienced oral complications (Bones gave me yet another hypo for my numbtongue affliction and I yelled at him to stop it. After that, he wisely refrained from giving me any more shots.) I was able to convince her that the Romulans were attacking Vulcan as we spoke. Then I pushed past her and ran back to the turbolift. They quickly followed and the doors slid shut. I was on my way to the bridge of the U.S.S. _Enterprise_, and more importantly, to Spock. Just thinking about him helped me to calm down a notch. I would present my information to Pike and then Spock would discover a logical solution to the problem. At least that's what I hoped would happen.

"Kirk, maybe you shouldn't go up on the bridge," Uhura cautioned.

"I can handle it," I assured her, giving her a look that said that I would behave myself around Spock. _I would try at least… Jim Kirk makes no guarantees._ I knew she was just trying to help, but_ I_ had to be the one to tell Pike. I knew he would listen to me, as I was his unofficial protégé and the son of George Kirk. She was also obviously worried about the effect my presence would have on Spock, but that couldn't be helped. Besides, I was looking forward to seeing him.

Seconds later, the turbolift arrived at the bridge. I clambered out before Bones or Uhura could stop me. Pike noticed my untimely arrival, and so did Spock, if his emotional wave of affection laced with an underlying irritation was any indication.

"Kirk! How did you get on this ship?" Pike barked.

"I'm sorry sir, Jim belongs in Sick Bay," Bones apologized.

"No, I'm fine!" I growled. "Sir, you have to listen to me."

"Go back to Sick Bay; I think you've had enough attention for awhile," frowned Pike. He was of course referring to my rather stunning performance on the _Kobayashi Maru_ test. Normally I'd be flattered – okay, I was still flattered that he knew about that - but I had vital information to report.

"Never mind that, sir," I said quickly. "About that lightning storm, I believe the ship is in danger from-"

"Pardon me, but the captain did not ask for advice from a cadet on probation." Spock jumped in to defend his captain as I knew he would. "There is also the fact that you do not have bridge clearance." Spock stared at me with intense dislike, but I saw right through that. He was clearly afraid for my safety, and none too pleased that I would bring attention to myself so early in the voyage. His irritation with me increased and I suddenly realized that he believed I was only there to stage a fight between us. _Dammit, this is one of those times that a Vulcan mind bond between us would really be useful… _After shooting Spock a glare, I focused on Pike instead.

"Sir, the only other recorded lightning storm in space occurred on the day of my birth. You know this to be true - I've read your dissertation." Reluctantly, Pike nodded. "Sir, last time the storm was caused by a Romulan ship, one that had insurmountable power to destroy everything in its path. That ship disappeared and was never heard from again – until now."

"Captain, this is irrelevant," Spock broke in. How I wanted to throttle him!_ Pointy eared bastard… he really needs a lesson in human behavior._ Couldn't he tell that I was serious?

"Continue, cadet," said Pike, intrigued by my boldness.

"Sir, several Klingon warships were destroyed last night by an unknown force. It's _that_ Romulan ship – it has to be!"

"How did you know about that?" Pike said sharply. I gestured to Uhura who explained that she had intercepted and translated that transmission. Spock just gazed at me, his expression unreadable. But I felt a flicker of doubt from him. Good.

"Captain, we are warping into a trap," I insisted. "I_ promise_ you that."At the word 'promise', I knew I had Spock on my side.

"The cadet's logic is sound," said Spock. I inwardly groaned. _Agree with me just like that, Spock! That's not obvious at all. Vulcans…_

It didn't take long for Spock and I to convince Pike that the Romulan attacker was the same one who had killed my father all those years ago. When we arrived at Vulcan, we were stunned to find only remnants of our fleet – the Romulan ship had destroyed them all. The only reason we were spared is because the Romulan leader recognized the_ Enterprise_ and its one key passenger, Spock. When deranged Romulan Nero asked for Pike to negotiate in person, both Spock and I vehemently argued against that course of action. But Pike stood firm – he was going, and that was that.

But he wasn't going to leave the ship without making sure that we had a way to protect Vulcan. Pike devised a plan to have three crewmembers parachute down to the drilling platform and attempt to knock it out. Along with Sulu and Olson, Pike volunteered me for the mission since I wasn't supposed to be there, much to Spock's dismay. But I was ready – I wanted to do my part to save Spock's planet. _After all this endless discussion, I could do with some action..._

As Pike prepared to leave the ship, he made Spock captain and me first officer. Spock protested the action, as it would undoubtedly call attention to my presence. But I shot him a look of reassurance, that even though I'd been made first officer, the true nature of our relationship was still safe. I knew Spock didn't like it, but there was nothing we could do. We had our orders.

Before I departed for my mission, I gazed back at Spock one last time. I could not help but project the deep feelings I had for him. Spock gave me a nod, and turned away. When I boarded the shuttle, I heard a faint whisper of "be careful" in the very back of my mind. But Spock was far away by that point. That was it, I'd officially cracked. Olson jabbered on about how he was going to kick some Romulan ass and all I could think of was that if I survived this, I was going to meld with Spock the first chance that I got.

End Ch. 5

A/N: Different, huh? Any tips on how to help me write Kirk? I know I can do better. I feel like I'm just rehashing the movie. Should I continue this?

Edit: Thank you all SO MUCH for the constructive crit. It's really helping! In the next chapter I'll try to deviate a bit from the movie, because frankly that chapter wasn't as much fun to write as the others. I felt like I was just doing what Orci and Kurtzman did, only the slash version of it. LOL. It was all very predictable, which is why I don't normally reading or writing retellings of books or movies. However. I'm going to continue this one through the movie, just because it gives me the opportunity to play with Kirk's POV (although I may switch back to Spock - you never know) and it lets me get more practice writing in the ST fandom before I begin my sequel. This was my least favorite chapter of this story, but if I had to start the movie somewhere. I appreciate you all bearing with me as I figure out how to make it better.

I now made some minor revisions, trying to make Kirk sound more like a red-blooded male and not a girl mooning over Spock, which is my POV. LOL. It's really hard to find that fine line between keeping them in character and adding the romantic aspects, but I'll keep trying.

Again, thanks for the suggestions but I can't use all of them. I already have a very specific idea for my sequel which I'm really excited about. I'm going to try to make my next update more exciting and you won't have to wait too long for it. LLAP.


	6. Meld With Me

Disclaimer: Star Trek belongs to Gene Roddenberry. The movie rights belong to J.J. Abrams and Paramount, as well as writers Orci and Kurtzman. Thanks to Zachary Quinto and Chris Pine for inspiring me to write about the young versions of Spock and Kirk!

A/N: Ok, this isn't going to be another rehashing of the movie. I can't do that, it's just too boring even though the movie was wonderful. There will be a little bit of summary, but that's only for context. Get ready for some h/c action, and then a few clues as to the biggest K/S cliché of all coming in later chapters! Oh, and I stole the bacta from Star Wars. Now on to the Spirk lovin!

Oh, and / denotes telepathic thought.

_Teach Me_

Ch. 6: Meld With Me

(Kirk POV)

Nothing had gone according to plan.

I stared blankly at the bright Sick Bay walls as my heart ached for the fallen. My side would give a dull throb every once and awhile but I barely noticed it. _Spock – how could they?_ Although I was having difficulty comprehending the scope of this disaster, I knew that my pain was nothing compared to Spock's. And he had forbidden me from coming near him, dammit! Somehow that made things even worse, that I couldn't go to him, knowing that he was suffering alone.

How had things gone wrong? Our plan to save Vulcan had started out well, with this amazing space dive that had one half of me thriving on the adrenaline from the freefall and the other half of me scared shitless. After much difficulty, Sulu and I managed to take out the Romulan drill, but it was all for naught. Nero destroyed Vulcan anyway, regardless of my useless efforts to prevent it.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. How did I end up in Sick Bay? During my heroic efforts on the drilling platform, one of the Romulan guards had punctured my side with their crude but effective sharp blade. Gasping for breath, the guard had kicked me over the side of the platform, but still I hung on, clinging desperately for my life. I thought of what my impending death would do to Spock, and somehow found the will to fight back. Leaving Spock alone in this world was _not_ acceptable on my part. I was not giving up that easily!

And then fate stepped in. Sulu saved me and we were beamed back to the _Enterprise_ just in time thanks to the genius efforts of Chekov. It was then that I learned that Vulcan was doomed, thanks to Nero's goons shooting the red matter into the planet's core. Through my shock, I wondered how Spock was going to handle the situation as acting captain. Was there even a way to handle this logically? It seemed to me Spock was about to take the _Kobayashi Maru_ test whether he liked it or not. Only this was real life, not a simulation.

As Sulu helped me limp off the platform with a hand at my wounded side to slow the bleeding, I saw/felt/heard Spock enter the transporter room. Sulu and I just stared at him, not knowing what to say. I sent him my affection, but it wasn't reflected back at me as usual. Even through the haze of my pain, I knew something was terribly wrong with Spock, other than the obvious. As my Vulcan jogged over to the transporter, it looked like Spock was about to… no, he couldn't! _Spock, don't! Now is not the time to start behaving illogically!_

"Spock, you can't beam down there!" I cried, afraid for his life. "The planet only has minutes left."

"Which is why I must not delay to save my parents." We connected eyes for a moment, and I knew that I had to let him go. He would not forgive me otherwise. I stood by, helpless, as he prepared to beam down to the red planet's surface. I only hoped that he could tell how important he was to me from my gaze and the love I sent toward him. _You will come back, Spock!_ He gave me a small nod, as if he'd actually understood my wish. Perhaps he had.

I watched as tiny flecks of light swirled around Spock and his form dematerialized. I faintly wondered what the odds were for his survival, and hoped that he had computed them before beaming down. That was when the shock of the blood loss, plus Spock leaving finally took its toll on my body. Giving in to the call of darkness, I blacked out for the second time that day.

.~.

When I awoke in Sick Bay, I found that Bones had given me a bacta patch for my side, which was working remarkably well to heal the wound and dull the pain. It didn't take long for the good doctor to notice that I was awake. Good. I could use a friend right about now. _What if Spock was dead? No, he couldn't be. I would know. _But my doubts still persisted. I decided to get the news straight from the horse's mouth.

"Welcome back, Jim." Bones greeted me a few minutes after I came around. His hair was in disarray, and his uniform was sullied with blood. But still he found a few minutes to speak with me, even with the demands of the other patients.

"What happened?" I asked, sounding more anxious than I'd intended. "Did any of the Vulcans survive?" _Please, Spock, be alive! _I hoped McCoy wouldn't figure out that I was really asking about the life of one Vulcan in particular, since Spock and I were supposed to be hating each other. But it didn't really matter if he did. I had to know.

"Vulcan itself is gone, but Captain Spock returned with his father and a few of the elders," Bones informed me. I left out a small sigh of relief. Spock was alive! I'd thought he was alive, because wouldn't I have felt it if he wasn't? I was so thrilled by this news that I didn't realizes that Bones still had more to say. "Jim, his mother was lost." _No!_ "Due to this personal loss, I am quite concerned about his emotional state if he is to remain captain…" Bones rambled on about the dangers of Spock's suppressed emotions as I closed my eyes and tried to feel Spock. But there was almost nothing – just a flicker of acknowledgement. He must not be nearby. That was when McCoy announced that he had other patients to attend and I was left there, all alone.

I must have stared at those walls for at least an hour. Or at least it felt like an hour. I barely even noticed when Uhura came to sit by my side after Bones left. She cleared her throat, causing me to look over at her. Her hair was falling out from her ponytail, and her eyes were red as if she'd been crying, but other than that she seemed to be coping. I turned to her and asked,

"Uhura, what's wrong?" _Is Spock alright? _Thankfully Uhura got the message. I figured that she would, being well versed in communications and all.

"Cadet Kirk, Captain Spock wants to have a word with you." We exchanged a dark look at that. She and I both knew that I was the only one who could reach him at a time like this. I stood up to follow her, but Bones intervened. How he'd spotted me getting up from way across the room, I'll never know. He must have doctor radar or something… or maybe it's just Jim Kirk radar. I'd like to think it was the latter.

"Jim, where the hell do you think you are going?" He exclaimed. "You need rest if you want that bacta to heal you! If Spock needs to talk with you he can just page you down here."

"Sir, Captain Spock wishes to speak to him about a private matter," Uhura insisted.

"Ship's business, I presume," McCoy grumbled. "I don't like it, Jim. I don't like it, but I haven't got any choice. Try not to kill yourself on the way up."

"I can't make any promises, Bones," I kidded, but my heart wasn't in it. After one last faux glare, he shook his head and moved on to other patients. I wasted no time following Uhura out of Sick Bay and into the nearest turbolift. Uhura punched in the number for Spock's floor and away we went.

"How's he doing?" I asked immediately.

"He's doing as well as either you or I would be doing if we'd just seen our planet be destroyed," was Uhura's grim answer. "Only unlike us, he's keeping it inside." Uhura's fiery eyes pleaded with me to understand. I did. Spock was her teacher, and her friend. She hated to see him in any sort of pain, as I did. Perhaps we were the only two people on this ship who had the privilege of seeing Spock for who he truly was.

"I'll do everything I can, Uhura," I insisted, resting my hands on her shoulders in what I hoped was a comforting gesture. "Believe me, I want to help him just as much as you do." She nodded, tears welling up in her eyes as she noted the sincerity in my voice.

"Perhaps you do deserve him after all." I frowned at that, had she previously thought I was unworthy of Spock's affections? But I had no time to dwell on that, as the lift had just arrived on Spock's floor.

.~.

I felt his ailing presence the moment I stepped out into the corridor. _Spock! Hold on!_ I was struck his strong feelings of agony and did my best to absorb them. Racing down the corridor to his quarters as fast as my wound would allow, I wondered what I would find when I got there. Would he let me in, or would he take some coaxing before he would open up to me? When I finally arrived, I heard his voice from inside telling me to enter. I did so, and found Spock standing there before me, his back as rigid as I'd ever seen it and his hand clasped behind his back. _It looks like I'll have to break through his logical façade, then_, I thought.

I really hoped that I was up to the task. I didn't understand why Spock was acting this way around me. In front of everyone else, sure. He had to be all logic and no emotion; it was part of who he was as a Vulcan. But this was me, dammit! He had been quite open with me last night. Why couldn't he just let me help him? I wanted to help him! It was killing me to see him like this.

"Spock." He gazed at me, his eyes betraying his true emotions that I had felt all along.

"Jim." He acknowledged me, his voice wavering just slightly when he noticed the bacta patch. "You are hurt?" Leave it to Spock to notice my small wound when all hell had just broken loose around him.

"No, it's nothing," I insisted. "I promise."

I gave him one of my encouraging smiles, hoping he would believe me. He did. Swells of trust radiated back and forth between us as he continued to drink in the sight of me. It was then that I could clearly feel his need as surely as I could feel my own. He was aching for some way to logically make sense of all this, but there was none I or anyone else could offer him. What was I supposed to do now? I had no idea how to tell him how sorry I was, for him, for his mother, and for Vulcan. There was just no apology that could make a dent in Spock's agony. Besides, Spock would probably find such an apology to be illogical. No, sorry wasn't good enough. So I simply said,

"I'm here."

That did it. Spock's shoulders slumped and he allowed me to catch him before he fell to the floor. I pulled him close and he rested his head on my shoulder, his arms hesitatingly rapping around my chest. Spock shattered in my arms, his cold reserves dissipating as if they had never existed. His raw emotions spilled out on to me; grief, fear, sorrow, despair. But for some reason, he refused to cry.

How I wished I could take the pain for him! I was no stranger to pain, and neither was he. But this was different. He had just become a member of an endangered species. All those unnecessary Vulcan deaths and the loss of his homeland and culture had to be plaguing him. Also, there was his mother. My own mother and I didn't have the best relationship, but I would be deeply affected if I suddenly lost her. And from what Spock told me last night, I knew he and Amanda had been very close. How was he not consumed by all of this?

"Jim, hold me." His voice was strained, as if he did not trust it. That was when I truly began to worry about him. Spock had to be hurting terribly if he was admitting that he needed help, even if it was to me, his future bondmate. And then the realization came to me. _I _was the only thing that was keeping him somewhat sane. It was quite frightening and yet flattering all at the same time, being Spock's everything. But I didn't want anyone else to have that job, as it was mine and only mine.

"Yes, Spock, anything you want," I soothed, running my fingers through his silky black mane. _Mmm, I could never get tired of playing with his hair._ "I've got you. I'm not going anywhere." I could not fathom how he was still functioning, even with me as an anchor. I don't know if I could've functioned to be honest, had it been Earth that had been destroyed. Which reminded me…

"Spock, I hate to bring this up at a time like this, but Nero is going after Earth next." I continued to stroke his hair, my fingers reveling in the feel of the foreign texture. "The _Enterprise_ needs an acting captain. We can't let give up now, even though so much has been lost. How do you want to handle this?" I knew I had to let him make the decision – I could give him control over that at least.

Spock raised his head to look at me and it was as if his eyes were scanning my very soul. Apparently he approved because then he guided us over to his bed. We took a seat on the edge, still not breaking physical contact. I did not wish for his arms to leave my back, and neither did he. I took comfort in his touch, although I had hoped it would be more so the other way around. Was it my imagination, or was my touch beginning to agitate him?

"I must remain as captain if we are to defeat Nero, as there is no one else on board with my experience," he insisted. "In fact that is why I called you in here." I gave him a tentative smile, just a whisper of my usual grin.

"And here I thought it was because you wanted me to give you a hug." Spock's eyes softened for a moment before they regained their hardened look.

"If I am to captain this ship, I will need to replenish my energy. Which is what I need you for." I frowned.

"Couldn't you just eat some food or something?" There went his eyebrow. I could tell that Spock was annoyed that I wasn't getting it. So sue me, physical contact with Spock was very distracting! Besides, most of the blood had fled from my brain the moment we touched.

"No, Jim. I do not require nourishment," he replied. "What I do need is to replenish my mental energy, which will help me to stabilize my emotions. There is only one way I know how to do this that will enable me to return to the bridge within the hour. I would not have asked it of you under these circumstances but I have found no other alternative." Instantly, I knew what he was referring to. Elated by his request, I squeezed his hands in gratitude and looked him straight in the eye.

"I would be honored to meld with you, Spock, son of Sarek." Spock gave a small sigh of relief, and I knew that he hadn't thought of what he would do had I refused him. But I would never refuse a gift as beautiful and damn precious as this. Spock was trusting me with his soul! And soon I would trust him with mine.

"It will not be as pleasant as I had hoped for you, as I will have to draw on some of your energy," Spock cautioned, but I could tell from the inflection his voice that he was just as excited about this as I was. Apparently I hadn't been the only one who had been anticipating our first meld.

"Don't worry about me," I said firmly. "I can handle anything you throw at me, Spock. And I'll gladly share my soul with you if you can draw strength from it." He nodded in thanks. Then he got that look in his eye, the one where I knew he wanted something from me. I couldn't help but shudder involuntarily. This was going to be a novel experience for me, and the thrill of it all was making me just a little lightheaded. But I refused to faint for the third time that day! _Jim Kirk does not faint. Right, just like Vulcans don't lie. Ah, Spock! What have you done to me?_ I wondered if there was anything in the universe more intimate than this. At the moment, I doubted it. Now Spock was ready to initiate telepathic contact.

"Close your eyes, Jim," Spock whispered, his breath hot on my ear as his fingers swept across my face. _Shit, he's going to kill me!_ I thought as white-hot pleasure coursed through me when he found my meld points. Suddenly, I found myself floating in an alien, colorless plane. Where was I? Which way was up? What was I doing here again? I began to panic just a tad before I heard Spock call out for me.

/Jim?/

/Spock! Where are you?/ He continued to call my name, and I fought to reach him, swimming in his direction through the recesses of this strange darkness. Then, I began to feel him coming closer. Blues and purples of all shades came swirling toward me as I was blinded by the cool energy that was Spock's mind.

/Jim, come closer. Do not be afraid./ I responded in kind. I let go of all my fears, pushing them away and instead concentrating only on Spock. My energy must have flared, as I morphed into pure warmth. My crimson, gold, amber, orange, and vermillion particles streamed towards his azure, cerulean, navy, indigo, and violet. Our minds were about to converge!

/Spock, you're here!/

//Indeed. Jim, I need you./

We melded instantly, and I became a part of him as he was a part of me. Our minds would now somewhat be forever joined. Two halves one whole, ying and yang, dark and light. I knew at once that this was home. But as much as I was enjoying being a part of Spock, I was conscious enough to remember that this was not about me, but about him. I felt Spock crying out to me, and I knew that he was still holding back.

/Give me your pain, Spock, entrust me with it! Let me spare you some of your agony./

/Jim... do not want to hurt you!/ By now I was fed up with him. Damn stubborn Vulcan!

/Give it to me, Spock./

At that moment, all of Spock's shields crumbled and his thoughts spilled out, much like a river bursting forth from a dam. Image after image tumbled past me at warp speed as I watched Spock's childhood play out before me. He finally centered on one memory in particular. Spock looked to be about seven, and he was taking part in some sort of Vulcan ceremony. A pretty Vulcan girl stood at his side, and I instantly knew I did not like her. Her dark eyes were quite cold and cunning; there was no hint of warmth behind them. I wondered what her name was, and what she was to Spock. The ceremony continued and I had the sinking suspicion that Spock was becoming betrothed. I had read about all this talk of bonds and meeting at the appointed place before, but I never made that connection that Spock himself could already be bonded. I guess I supposed he was unattached due to his human blood.

/Her name was T'Pring./ Hmm, this anticipation of thoughts thing might be useful. Wait… was?

/Was?/ Immediately I knew I'd said (thought?) the wrong thing. Spock's sadness flooded me once again, and yet I welcomed it. I could take the pain, I was used to it. And it was helping Spock. I also knew there had to be a logical explanation about the girl.

/She was on Vulcan when it imploded. We were meant to marry at the appointed time. Our faint bond was severed the moment she was killed, and yet I did not feel for her./ Spock drew from some of me then, my warm particles fusing with some of his cold ones.

/I take it you did not choose to marry her./

/Correct./

/So you are unbonded?/

/For the moment./ I groaned at that, or whatever the particle equivalent of a groan was. His words caused me to flare with uncontrollable heat. I wanted him. Even better, I knew that he wanted me. This wasn't what I'd expected from the meld, not this time at least, but who was I to refuse?

/Jim, t'hy'la!/

Spock's reply was to cocoon me in his tepid self. Joining forces, we morphed through all the colors of the rainbow, exploring how we could change together. I was having the time of my life, but I could not say the same of Spock. I felt my joy reflected back in him, but I was also made aware of his growing anxiety. For some reason, the meld had not had a calming effect on him like it did on me. In fact, it seemed to have the opposite, if I was interpreting his inner conflict correctly. Spock suddenly embraced my warmth, letting it flow through him until we became an all encompassing molten gold. I was floating yet again as we gave ourselves over to the burning heat…

_Cold, so cold!_ I shuddered at the unexpected loss. _Where was Spock? Why had he broken the meld?_

A second ago, Spock had just jerked his fingers away from my meld points as if scorched by my skin. And maybe he had been. As I slowly returned to myself I noticed the little beads of sweat forming on Spock's forehead. Was it normal for his cheeks to flush green after a meld? And was he _panting_? _What the hell_… Ignoring his fierce trembling at my touch, my hand gently grazed his forehead.

"Spock, you're burning up," I worried. "Are you sure you don't have a fever?" Spock gave a bitter chuckle at that. He didn't answer, just scooted away from me on the bed.

"I must ask you to leave." My heart almost stopped at that. No! He couldn't shut me out! Not now. Not after what we'd just shared together.

"Spock, I don't understand…"

"You do not have to understand," he muttered. "Just know that I do not want you here with me any longer." _Dammit._ I'd almost been expecting him to pull something like this. It would be just like Spock to react this way after sharing his soul with someone.

"I guess Vulcans can lie, then." Spock just glared at me as he struggled to cease his shaking. I could tell he was currently shielding me from his feelings, as all I felt from him was a jarring blank. Why would he do that after what we'd just experienced? And he says that _humans_ are illogical… "Spock, I can't just sit by and let you suffer like this. If you won't talk to me, at least let me call Dr. McCoy-"

"No!" Spock growled. "I am fine."

"Bullshit," I snapped. "You don't look fine. You can't even stop shaking! If anything, the meld hurt you instead of helping you." _And I wish I knew why…_

Spock shuddered at my sudden wave of affection and it was all I could do not to pull him close again. But I knew he'd never allow it, not in his present state. He turned away from me, and I knew that he had found the strength to compose himself. When he turned to face me, once again, his cool, logical mask had returned. He stood up, straightened his shirt, and graced me with the coldest stare I'd ever seen. I also stood up to face him. I was not about to be intimidated by him, although in retrospect I should have been.

"Kirk, report to the bridge." I didn't move a muscle – I just stared him down. I had never wished to defy an order before like I did at this moment. He took a step backward, as if repulsed by my presence. _What had I done wrong? What had I done to push him away?_ But then he spoke, and he was my Spock once again.

"Please, Jim," he whispered. "Trust me. I just need ten of your earth minutes to compose myself."

"Alright."

It was that pleading note in his voice that made me head for the door. I left him there, alone in his quarters not because I wanted to, but because he asked it of me.

Heading to the bridge, I turned my thoughts to the Romulan crisis. Someone had to take charge; it might as well be me! But if Spock did not report in ten minutes, I told myself I would send McCoy after him. If this strange fever of his impeded his duties, as the newly appointed first officer I would have no choice but to assume command of the _Enterprise_. Finally I would get what I'd craved for three years… but it couldn't come under worse circumstances.

End Ch. 6

A/N: Thoughts, questions, concerns? I have no idea of my version of a meld is close to canon or not. I hope you liked it though. I sure had fun with this one! Let me know if you know what's up with Spock. ;)


	7. Spock Prime

Disclaimer: Star Trek belongs to Gene Roddenberry. The movie rights belong to J.J. Abrams and Paramount. Thanks to Zachary Quinto and Chris Pine for inspiring me to write about the young versions of Spock and Kirk!

A/N: Here we are, for your Memorial Day entertainment (those of you in the U.S.) is the next installment! Hope you like it. I did the best I could to capture Nimoy's Spock, but I don't think I could ever do him justice. He is just so cool. Enjoy it!!

_Teach Me_

Ch. 7: Spock Prime

(Kirk POV)

My vision slowly cleared as I took stock of my surroundings. Somehow I'd ended up in an escape pod on the class-M planet Delta Vega. _Dammit, Spock! Why did you send me away? _All I had done was argue with him concerning the fate of the _Enterprise_. I thought it was logical to take Nero's ship by surprise; he preferred to regroup with the fleet. Somehow the argument grew quite heated and he'd had me escorted off the bridge by security. Except I'd fought back… that had been a bad idea, as Spock ended up having to give me a nerve pinch. It must've been exactly what he'd wanted too – to get me off the ship, but not for the reasons everyone believed.

The computer in the pod advised me to wait for a Starfleet representative to pick me up, but Jim Kirk does not sit around and wait for something to happen. Spock was in trouble, as was the _Enterprise_. I had to find the Starfleet outpost and return to the ship before Spock really did lose it. He needed me, whether he would admit it or not. Just like I needed him. We were stronger together, drawing on each other's strength in trying times.

I popped the hatch open, only to be met with a blast of freezing cold air. _Shit, that's cold!_ Spock _would_ maroon me on an ice planet. At least one good thing came from this, I supposed. Everyone on the _Enterprise_, save for Uhura, would have no trouble believing we hated each other.

The memory of our meld warmed me to the core as I climbed out of the pod and on to the icy surface of the planet. I pulled out my tricorder and located the outpost far off in the distance. Trudging along, I lost myself in my thoughts. What Spock and I had shared had been the single most illuminating experience of my life. His very essence had joined with mine, and we had explored what we could be together, our souls as one. No sexual encounter that I'd had – and believe me, I've had plenty – had ever come close to that.

The _really_ scary thing was, we weren't even bonded. Nor had we gotten physical at that time. I tried not to imagine what it would be like, after we bonded, when it was time to join our bodies and minds in an everlasting union, but it was just too tempting. _Spock! Ahhhhhhhh…_

**Brawwrrrrrrrrr!**

_What the? _I whirled around to find myself almost face to face with what looked liked the abominable snowman. _That's what you get for fantasizing about Spock while on an unfamiliar planet,_ I thought. Dammit, I should know better than to be caught unawares like that.

I knew I had no other choice but to run. I did so, feeling strangely like I was the hero Luke Skywalker from that centuries old Terran space opera, when he tries to outrun the Wampa Ice Creature on the ice planet Hoth. I remembered that in the story, Luke's best friend Han saved him from being eaten by the monster. But my best friend couldn't save me now – he was nowhere near here. I was on my own. I got in a rhythm, trying to conserve my breath and energy as I flew across the icy terrain. I was _not_ about to lose – Spock was counting on me to live.

Just when I thought I was pulling away, something went up and ate the snow monster that had been after me. I looked up at this new creature with a sinking feeling in my stomach – I knew it would be useless to try and out run it. But I had to try. I booked it across the snow, chased by a monster that looked half arachnoid, half Venus fly trap. Right when I felt my body begin to tire, I spied an opening in the sheets of ice. Was that a… yes! Yes it was. I made a beeline for the cave, realizing too late that I would be trapped inside.

As I raced into the ice cave, I began to believe that my efforts to survive would be in vain. Even if I did manage to hide myself from the beast, it or something like it would most likely eat me when I ventured out to find the Starfleet outpost. But as it turned out, the cave was large enough for the both of us, something I had miscalculated. The beast was gaining now, and it soon rapped my legs with its slimy proboscis. Was this how it was going to end? Death by monster on some god-forsaken ice planet? I struggled to free myself, but it was hopeless.

_Spock - I wish we'd had more time_, I thought desperately. I couldn't blame him for wanting me to be safe, but he didn't take into consideration that my escape pod might be blown off course. I know that if Spock wouldn't have sent me here if he'd known about the dangers. He must've thought that I would land close to the Starfleet outpost, that I would be safe there until he returned for me. _He's going to blame himself when he finds out how I died,_ I thought. This filled me with despair, as I knew Spock was already consumed by his grief for his mother and for Vulcan. News of my death would destroy him for sure.

As I prepared to meet my end, out of the corner of my eye I spied... was that fire? Fire in a cave? _That's impossible – do people lose it right before they die?_ But there was fire, and it was being wielded by someone!

My rescuer hurried closer, waving his flaming torch near the beast, which roared in fear, dropping me in the process. I watched, amazed as the monster retreated back out into the cold. I was safe! One minute I was about to die, the next I had my whole life ahead of me. Who was it that had made this possible? I frowned as I looked over at the one who had saved my life. For some reason, my rescuer would not face me. Perhaps he was waiting for me to address him or her first? Fine by me. It was the least I could do!

"Thank you," I gasped out, still reeling hard from my ordeal. Running that far that fast was by no means an easy feat, even for one as fit as me! "I was about to become monster chow but you saved me."

That was when my rescuer turned around, and to my delight he was a Vulcan! An elderly Vulcan, but a Vulcan nonetheless. The Vulcan's dark eyes widened as he took in the sight of me. I was flooded with a familiar tenderness as his eyes connected with mine. I had never seen anyone gaze at me like that before, like I was their everything. Not even Spock looked at me like that. Perhaps one day he would, after we'd been bonded for many years…

"James T. Kirk, captain of the _U.S.S. Enterprise_." The Vulcan's voice was filled with warmth, addressing me as if we'd been the best of friends. _Captain? Huh?_ I had to be missing something here.

"How do you know my name?" I demanded. As far as I knew, Vulcans couldn't read minds without melding. So how could he know who I was?

"I would recognize you anywhere," he said softly. "I have been and always will be your... friend." A tiny chill ran down my spine his statement, for he sounded sincere. There was something so incredibly familiar about him... perhaps he was related to Spock.

"Who are you?" I asked. He almost smiled then.

"I am Spock." I almost laughed at him, but I didn't want to be impolite. I had great respect for this wise Vulcan who I'd only just met.

"No, you're not." I refuted his claim. "If you were Spock, I would know. Besides, no offense, but you're much too old to be Spock."

"I am not Spock as you know him," said the Vulcan. "I was sent back in time, by Nero." _What the hell…  
_  
"How do you know about Nero?" I asked, flabbergasted by his answer.

"Let me show you." The old Vulcan stretched out his hand toward my face, causing me to back away, even though some invisible force was drawing me to him.

"Oh hell no," I muttered. "I can't take another one of those today." The Vulcan who claimed to be Spock raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

"You have already melded with Spock?"

"Yes." I sneered at him, in a show of false bravado. "Is that a problem?"

"Fascinating," he muttered. "Events must have been altered in this timeline more so than I had originally believed. This is why you would recognize if I was your Spock." He was smiling openly then, and it was really disturbing the hell out of me. It was almost as if this Vulcan _knew_... but no one knew. No one besides myself, Spock, and Uhura.

"Don't look too happy about it." I scowled at him. "He didn't react well to the meld. Almost as soon as we came out of it, he demanded that I leave."

"I can assure you he did not mean that," said the Vulcan. He looked somewhat saddened. "He must have just been disoriented by your strong presence in the meld."

"You have a talent for understatement," I said dryly. "He was practically panting afterwards. And then he had this fever..."

"A fever?" He interruped me sharply. "How old is your Spock?"

"I'm not sure. I'm twenty-five and I think he's a few years older than me," I replied. "But what does that have to do with his fever?" The Vulcan seemed not to hear me, as he was lost in thought.

"That is much too young for..." He mumbled to himself. "But I must be certain." I frowned.

"Do you know what's wrong with him? He wouldn't let me call the ship's doctor to check him out." The Vulcan nodded.

"I have a suspicion. If you would allow me..."

"You're going to watch the memory of us melding?" I shook my head nervously. "I don't know - it's kinda private."

"Interesting," said the Vulcan, and I was once again filled with joy when he trained his eyes on me. "You are already bonded?" I didn't say a word, but I'm sure my wistful expression gave me away.

"It is alright, Jim," he said. "In another life I was bonded to my Kirk, but that did not happen until we were older. Please, Jim. Allow me into your mind; I will be gentle." I nodded. The moment he said my name, I recognized him. I knew then that he would not harm me, as he was unmistakably Spock. He reached out to me, placing his fingers upon the meld points. And then I gave myself over to this older Spock, and was soon back where I belonged.

.~.

Older Spock broke the meld, leaving me gasping with surprise. I still wanted him, badly. He found me beautiful, I felt him say it! Why had he let me go? This Spock seemed to anticipate my question, or maybe he had heard it in his mind.

"Jim. We have to return you to the_ Enterprise_ - immediately!" I heard the urgency in the Vulcan's voice but I decided to disregard it. I took a minute to catch my breath, as I calmed down from the intensity of the meld. This Spock and his Kirk had meant everything to each other! This is what Spock and I could have if we worked at it!

"What's the hurry?" I asked. I could stay here with this Spock for a little longer. This Spock was not afraid of his feelings for me. This Spock wanted me as much as I wanted him. This Spock was _perfect_. But nothing could have prepared me for what elder Spock was about to say.

"Spock is entering *Pon Farr."

"_What_?" That brought me out of it. I stared at elder Spock in horror. "But he's too young! He's not yet an adult by your Vulcan standards."

"I am aware of this fact," said the Vulcan. "The only logical explanation for the premature triggering of the mating cycle is the destruction of our home planet. We Vulcans must already be adapting to our new circumstances as endangered species. We will need to produce as many young Vulcans as possible in the years to come, and so the adolescent Vulcans are being called upon to serve this need."

"But will your people understand what is happening?" I asked. "Vulcans aren't exactly known for discussing certain biological functions."

"Indeed," elder Spock agreed. "I must get a message to Sarek – he will know how to handle this situation."

"I want to help," I said, eager to impress him. "What can I do for you, Spock?" He pursed his lips at that. Perhaps I had reminded him of his Kirk at that moment. I hoped so.

"You must return to the ship, Jim." Elder Spock looked as if this decision might just kill him. That was when I realized he did not wish to part with me, not that I blamed him. I _am_ quite a catch. "Spock will begin to pine for you, and it will be more difficult for him to remain in control if you are not there. You could help support him during this time, as long as you take care not to provoke his lust. He should not have sent you away."

"You're tellin' me," I agreed. "How long can he hold off the blood fever?"

"Seven days if necessary," elder Spock answered, as if lost in thought. "It should be long enough for the two of you to defeat Nero, and then commence with the bonding ceremony before the *plak-tow consumes him."

"Sounds like fun!" I grinned at him. Spock nodded at me.

"It is quite 'fun'," Elder Spock answered, a tiny smirk on his wizened features. "My Kirk taught me that Pon Farr did not have to be an unpleasant experience. I know you will do the same for Spock." A rather distressing thought occurred to me then.

"Spock, how old are you?"

"I am 154 Earth years." It was just as I thought.

"If you're 154, that means your Kirk is dead by now."

"Affirmative." I saw this conversation was hurting him, but I had to know if I should proceed with my Spock. I did not wish to cause him unnecessary pain later in life just to satisfy my own needs when I was alive.

"Do you still think about him?" Elder Spock closed his eyes, as if in remembrance.

"Every day."

"Was it worth it?" I prodded him. "Bonding with a human, I mean. You had to know that your Kirk would die long before you would."

"It was more than worth it," said Spock, smiling at me. "A love like that only comes along once a lifetime. I would not trade my time spent with my Jim for anything." I sighed in relief.

"Good. Spock, come here. You just lost your planet - let me hold you." He sought shelter in my arms, and I reveled in the feel of him here with me. He was so beautiful in old age! How I wished I could live to see my Spock this way.

"Thank you, Jim." He rested his head on my shoulder, much like my Spock tended to do. I knew I had to return to the ship soon, but I still had a few more burning questions for him.

"Spock, in your time line, your mother was still alive when you met your Kirk."

"Correct."

"How did she react when she found out I was to be your bondmate?"

"She wholly approved," said Spock. "She also said that she had hoped I would choose Jim as my bondmate from the moment I introduced him as my captain." Whew. I couldn't wait to tell Spock about this! I also made a mental note to ask him about this captain thing.

"And your father?" Somehow I knew he would not be as pleased.

"He was… less than thrilled," Spock admitted. "He did not believe that you could commit yourself fully to one person. How I grateful I am that my father was wrong about you."

"But he will come around eventually, right?" I pressed him.

"That is correct. You will win him over, Jim. Just give him time." Spock looked up at me then and I swear our minds touched even though he was not physically touching my meld points.

//T'hy'la!// Perhaps this was what being bonded felt like!

"Speaking of time, we must hurry." I helped him to stand up. "Which way to the outpost?" Spock took my hand in his.

"I will show you the way, old friend. And on the way I will explain my involvement with Nero, and what you must do to gain your rightful captaincy of the _Enterprise_."

"But Spock's the acting captain," I protested. "I won't commit mutiny against my future bondmate."

"You must," Spock said, his expression serious. "It is your destiny. Believe me, Spock does not want the captaincy. And at this moment he is not fit for it."

"He seemed to be doing fine when he sent me away," I answered, scowling at the memory.

"He is emotionally compromised and not fit for duty."

"How do you know?" I wondered. We gazed at each other again, and I saw the pain reflecting there in his ancient eyes.

"Jim, I just lost my planet and my mother. I'm also entering the Pon Farr cycle. Believe me, I am emotionally compromised." I nodded, struck dumb by the emotion flowing from him. It took me a moment to figure out just what to say. James T. Kirk, struck speechless.... only Spock could do such a thing to me.

"Then I will do whatever you ask, Spock."

We ventured out into the snow together, and soon entered the Starfleet outpost. We were greeted by a rather resentful yet chipper engineer, who Spock recognized as one of his old friends, Montgomery Scott. He deemed it was necessary to beam this 'Scotty' back to the ship along with me, and for some reason suggested that I introduce him to Uhura.

My parting with Elder Spock was short and sweet. I promised to give his message regarding the adolescent Vulcans to his father, the ambassador. Spock gave me the Vulcan salute, and the traditional greeting. Somehow I had a feeling I would see this Spock again, so it was not really goodbye. And besides, I was more than ready to return to my Spock now, as I had seen what kind of a being he could become. Just before the beam took hold of me, Spock called out,

"Jim, beware a man named Khan."

End Ch. 7

* Pon Farr - The Vulcan seven year mating cycle, in which Vulcans must either mate or die.

* Plak-Tow - Part of the Pon Farr, the blood fever where Vulcans are stripped of their logic and are consumed by the need to mate. (AKA hot stuff!)

A/N: LOL Khaaaaaaaaaaan! I hope some of you got that reference. ;) The next chapter will include Spock and Kirk's sexy fight on the bridge! I'm gonna have fun with that one… I'm not sure which POV I want to use. I might want to switch back to Spock. Hmm.

P.S. I think I have a touch of the Pine flu. (And no, I didn't come up with that – I wish I had.) Anyone else suffering from this ailment? Or perhaps you're suffering from the Quinto strain, a less reported but just as widespread variant on the Pine flu.

Edit: Corrected Spock Prime's age. Sorry about that! Thanks for calling it to my attention.


	8. Emotionally Compromised

Disclaimer: Star Trek belongs to Gene Roddenberry. The movie rights belong to J.J. Abrams and Paramount. Thanks to Zachary Quinto and Chris Pine for inspiring me to write about the young versions of Spock and Kirk!

A/N: Sorry it's late! I've been so busy lately. But this fic is a priority. This chapter was difficult for me to write, which is partly why it took so long. But anyway… I hope you like it. This one is probably the most angsty. I switched back to Spock's point of view because I wanted to give you an insight into what he was feeling during Pon Farr. Poor Spock!

Also, there is a reference to the original series episode Amok Time, in which Kirk and Spock have a similar fight. Enjoy!

_Teach Me_

_"Baby when it love if it's not rough it isn't fun!"_

_-Lady Gaga, Poker Face_

Ch. 8: Emotionally Compromised

(Spock POV)

Sending Jim away was perhaps the most illogical decision I'd ever made.

I had thought that without his constant presence to distract me, I would be able to focus better on the demands of running a starship. I was wrong. Without Jim at my side, I was rapidly losing what little sanity I'd managed to retain. Dr. McCoy made no bones about how he felt in regards to my odd decision to chuck Jim off the ship. I knew he wasn't the only one who thought my behavior towards Jim had been much harsher than necessary. But what they didn't know was that I just wanted to keep him safe. It was only a matter of time before Starfleet would order us to go into battle, and I did not wish Jim to further exacerbate his wound. I knew him – he would refuse to stay behind on the account of an injury. So I made that choice for him, even though I knew he would be displeased. But I could accept his emotional reaction; at least he would be out of harm's way.

Unfortunately, when I made that foolish decision, I hadn't taken into account my… problem. I had hoped that sending Jim away would improve my problem, but it only seemed to do the reverse. It was becoming more difficult by the minute to keep my emotions in check. I wasn't sure how long my meditations would be able to hold it off – a few days, a week tops. That would be plenty of time to kill Nero and retrieve Jim, if all went according to plan. But I found that in space, even the most logical plans don't always have an optimal turnout.

I was seriously considering turning over the captaincy to someone else, when an intruder alert sounded in the engineering section. Just what I needed, someone making a nuisance of themselves. I ordered security to round up the intruders and bring them to the bridge.

It was not long before the intruders arrived via turbolift. _No, it can't be!_ But it was. I would recognize that blazing energy anywhere. _How did he _get_ here?_ I felt his presence before he stepped out of the lift. I was completely shocked by this unexpected occurrence. Why hadn't he just stayed where it was safe? _Because he's Jim, that's why. If Jim thought it was necessary to do something, he would always find a way_. Even though he was irritating me at the moment, I was, of course, thrilled to see him. He and the other human approached me as they knew I would demand an explanation for their presence aboard the _Enterprise_. And demand one I did.

"We are travelling at warp speed," I reminded them. "How did you manage to beam aboard this ship?"

"Well-" The man began to explain but Jim interrupted him.

"Don't answer him." Jim shot me a furious look. I felt his all-encompassing anger, directed solely at me. And it _hurt_! But a second later I couldn't feel anything from him at all. That hurt much worse. How had he managed to shield his emotions from me? I felt empty without them. _Jim, where are you?_ I reached out to feel him but he did not respond. Unnerved by this occurrence, I focused on the other human male instead. I took a double take at him, and sure enough he was dripping water all over the floor of the bridge! How had I missed that before? Oh right. Jim's presence took up all of my attention.

"Are you a member of Starfleet?" The man shifted on his feet, giving me an apologetic grin.

"Uh, yes. Cannae get a towel?" I didn't answer him.

"This is Montgomery Scott," Jim butted in. "He's with me. Scotty, this is Spock. Spock, Scotty." I made no move to shake this Scotty's hand when he offered it to me. The poor fellow chuckled nervously.

"Well, now that we're all acquainted, I'll just dry off over here." Scotty moved away and suddenly it was just Jim and I facing off in front of the bridge crew. He smirked at me, as if he knew something that I didn't. I calculated the odds that I was going to escape this confrontation without losing control of my emotions, and found that I only had a 25.5% chance of succeeding. Very well – I would just have to channel all my energy into suppressing my emotions. I took a deep breath, and then addressed my future bondmate.

"I'll ask you again. As acting captain of this vessel, I order you to answer the question. How did you beam aboard when we are travelling at warp?" Kirk shot me this innocent look, training his eyes on mine in an attempt to break through my defenses. How could he do this to me, in front of the crew? He looked ever so delectable when he did that, and what was worse was that he knew that it drove me wild.

"I'm not telling, acting captain." I shot him a death glare, unable to stop that sort of response. Jim seemed quite satisfied with it. "Oh that doesn't frustrate you, does it? My lack of cooperation? That doesn't bother you at all." I recognized his sarcasm right away. Jim looked quite proud of his response. It seemed he rather enjoyed arguing with me in front of the crew_. Sadistic human…he knew this was frustrating me. It was almost as if he was provoking me._

"Kirk, you were deployed from this ship," I said, my voice devoid of emotion. "You are not authorized to be aboard the _Enterprise_. What could you possibly hope to gain by returning?" I foolishly hoped that my words would invoke some sort of favorable emotional response in him, but again, I felt absolutely nothing. Just a cold void. It was almost as if he did not exist… Didn't he wish to return to me? Or did he have a sinister purpose for coming back?

"I returned because I knew that you weren't fit to be the captain." Jim's eyes found mine and I was disturbed by what I saw there. Never had I seen him so livid! Jim must have risked much to return here while we were travelling at warp speed. It had said to be an impossible feat. And yet here he was in the flesh, making threats at his captain. Kirk was treading on dangerous territory, and we both knew it.

"Say that again." My voice had dropped an octave. I really hoped he was play-acting, but then he'd never shielded his emotions from me before. In fact, I'd not yet taught him how to do that. The only logical conclusion was that he must've met up with another telepath on Delta Vega, as unlikely as that would seem. Somehow the idea of another telepath teaching Jim how to shield his thoughts made my blood boil.

"You…aren't... _fit_… to be the captain." My jaw tightened at his accusation. Did he really want the _Enterprise_ so badly that he would find a way to relieve me of command? I couldn't believe that, but an hour ago I never would've believed that Jim could shield his emotions from me. He had returned a changed man, that much was certain. But I had yet to ascertain if this change was for the better or not.

"On what do you base that opinion?" I sounded calm, matter of fact. I sounded Vulcan. Excellent.

"Starfleet regulations state that the captain must be relieved of his duties if he is emotionally compromised," Jim quoted. I stared at him pointedly, and he stared right back. The tension flared between us, and I knew that he could feel it. He was planning something; that much I could discern. I knew I must keep my emotions under control at all costs – I could not let him take the ship. He wished to jeopardize all on board to confront Nero in hopes of saving Earth, and I wished to do the sensible, logical thing - to follow orders and rendezvous with the rest of the fleet. No, I could not let him make the wrong decision; therefore I had to stay in command.

"I will not allow you to lecture me about emotions." Jim's smirk widened at that.

"Then why don't you stop me."

"That would be unwise," I warned him, biting my lip to prevent myself from giving him a verbal lashing.

"You know what, Spock? You're right. I'll admit it," Jim said, shaking his head. "You _can't_ be emotionally compromised. Everyone else on this bridge would be devastated by the events of today if it was their home planet, but it doesn't even compute with you. You don't care about the destruction of Vulcan. You don't have the capacity to care! Dammit, Spock, your mother just_ died_ and you don't even care one bit! And you want to know why? It's because you're incapable of feeling love for someone."

My hands trembled at my sides. Why did he continue to torment me with the destruction of Vulcan and the death of my dear mother? He of all people should know that I loved, and loved deeply. At this moment I wanted to throttle him for his impudence. What was worse was that his eyes told a different story. Those crystal orbs bored into mine, and I saw how much he wanted me. _Ah, Jim!_ It was all I could do from restraining myself from throwing him up against a wall and taking him right there. My fever began to return and I found myself starting to burn for him. Through my feverish haze, I noted that Jim looked almost upset that I had not lost it when he flung Vulcan's disaster and my mother's death at me. But then he steeled himself, and went for the jugular.

"Spock, I have to say, Uhura is a saint for putting up with a hopeless case like you." Uhura looked at him in surprise, stunned that Jim would bring her into this. But she made no move toward either of us. She, along with the rest of the bridge crew seemed frozen at their stations as they watched us duke it out. Jim had really wounded me with his last statement, and my concentration was slipping.

"I do not see how this is relevant-" Jim cut me off.

"A heartless Vulcan is not worthy of her love. In fact, I don't see how _anyone_ could ever love a freak like you."

"Ahhhhhhhhh!" A Vulcan war cry erupted from me as we charged simultaneously. Fists flew as each of us tried to dominate the other. Jim managed to get a few hits before my superior Vulcan strength won out. As I flung him against one of the consoles, I vaguely wondered how I could despise him and want him at the same time. Because that was exactly what was happening. _No, not now!_ I could not afford to slip into the blood fever, as I would not come out of it until I mated. Which was apparently now out of the question, as Jim was disgusted by me. He was no longer mine. He did not love me anymore…

Jim was still fighting me, flailing against my iron grip. To see him there before me, helpless and thrashing, reached something primal in me, and my hands flew to his throat. _He_ _must pay for his betrayal,_ my brain rationalized my action. _For the attempted mutiny, and for wreaking havoc on my heart._ He struggled to breathe, but my hands tightened on his neck, effectively cutting off his air supply.

Just then I had an out-of-body experience. I was no longer on the bridge of the Enterprise, but I was whisked away to the Vulcan desert near my home. I was taking part in the *_Koon_**-**_ut_**-**_kali-fee_ challenge, during which Vulcans fight to win their mate. The full throws of the blood fever had consumed me, and I was about to choke my challenger to death with my lirpa. But I also wanted him as well, very badly. Then it dawned on me that my opponent was James T. Kirk, the man I loved. He looked about a decade older than my Jim, but it was still Jim. And I was slowly choking him to death. _No! Jim, my t'hy'la, you must wake! _But he just lay there, unmoving, as McCoy pronounced him dead. And it was all my fault.

When I opened my eyes and returned to myself on the bridge, I saw my Jim straining for breath. His cheeks were flushed from the effort, and his pulse felt erratic. He was fighting with all he had to stay alive, but I sensed that he had also accepted death. In fact, he almost seemed to enjoy being rendered helpless beneath me, having his air supply cut off by my hands. _What am I doing?_ I jerked my hands away from him, and he coughed and wheezed as he inhaled lungfuls of air. _He is so beautiful; how could I ever have wanted to take his life? _Jim's eyes rolled back in his sockets as he fought to regain control. My blood fever had abruptly vanished, perhaps due to the shock that in my frenzy, I had almost killed the one I loved.

"Spock." It was my father, sounding like I had just shamed him in front of the crew. Which I had. Uhura, Dr. McCoy, Sulu, Chekov, Scotty, and all the others just stared at me, frightened by my display of violence. I knew then what I had to do.

"Mr. Chekov, please note in the log that I relinquish my duties as captain. I have been emotionally compromised, and therefore am not fit for duty." I had to get out of there, before I lost it again. "The first officer is now the captain." I took one last look at Jim, who seemed to be breathing normally again. And then I fled to the turbolift.

I didn't know if I could ever show my face to any of them again, especially Jim. What must he think of me now? If we'd had any chance of working through this, I had ruined it. So now the plak-tow was sure to return within the week since I had not carried out its biological function, and I had no future bondmate. I was looking at a death sentence, as I would not mate with anyone other than Jim. I'd refuse to bond with anyone besides him. I had already experienced the full breadth of Jim's love, and I knew that anyone else would not fulfill the entire spectrum of my needs. There was no way around it - I would be dead by this time next week. And since I could not have Jim's love, death would be a welcome reprieve.

.~.

_One Earth hour later, Science Officer's quarters_

I lay on my bed in a fetal position, which was very un-Vulcan of me. But at that moment I could care less about acting like a perfect Vulcan. I had tried to meditate, but it had been most impossible. My longing for Jim had rid me of my logic, and I could not move from his position. Just then I sensed a familiar presence at my door. It was Jim, and he was emanating strong waves of remorse. Was it possible that he wanted to work through this with me? I tried to squash this hope as I called,

"Enter." He did so, and by that time I had sat up on the bed. I would not dare to let him see me looking so weak, so _human_. Not after what he'd done to me on the bridge. Jim came closer and stood a few meters away from the bed. I could feel his affection once again, and I recognized it in his eyes. I couldn't understand it. Was he playing games with me, as humans often did during courtships? I hadn't taken Jim for one of those humans, at least not when he was with me. But I had been wrong about beaming during warp speed, I could be wrong about him as well.

"You should be on the bridge, _captain_."

"They have everything under control," Jim said quietly. "We're going after Nero, but it will take at least half a day to reach him and Earth."

"I see," I said coolly. I knew that he was making a huge mistake, but there was nothing I could do about it, as he was now the captain.

"Spock." Jim's voice broke in desperation. I didn't want to look at him, to be reminded of his recent betrayal of me, of us. "I had no choice - I had to compromise you."

"Tell me, _captain_, just how badly did you wish to obtain control over this ship? Or was it that you thought I was unfit for duty?" I sent him a death glare, and I felt him absorb my fury.

"Spock, don't," he pleaded, but I wasn't finished.

"Or perhaps you just wanted revenge for sending you away." Jim shook his head.

"I don't give a shit about that – I know you had your reasons. But Spock, we both know your emotional state has been severely jeopardized by recent events. You don't need the added responsibility of captaining a starship weighing on you in the days ahead."

"And I suppose you do?" He sighed.

"When you marooned me on Delta Vega, I met someone there who-"

"One Montgomery Scott, engineering representative of Starfleet," I recited from memory. Jim rolled his eyes.

"Besides him. I crossed paths with a time traveler who had been stranded there by Nero. He knew all about our futures, Spock. He knew what we could become together."

"And he convinced you that you were supposed to be the captain."

"Yes." Kirk sighed, as if realizing how illogical this would sound to a Vulcan. After all, he had no solid facts with which to back up his story.

"Did it occur to you that he may have been lying to further his own agenda?" I asked.

"He wasn't lying," Kirk said firmly. "Don't ask me how I know this, because I can't explain it to you. But he was telling the truth."

"How convenient." Jim stared at me with sad eyes.

"Don't you think I would tell you if I could?"

"I honestly do not know what to think about you anymore." He gave me a pained look. "Fine. You can go ahead and hate me for provoking you. But we must put that aside for now. I have to get a message to your father, but I think it would go over better if he heard it from you."

"Explain." Jim looked at me with such adoration, and a tad of pity. He seemed to be debating whether to approach me, and decided not to.

"Spock, I know what's happening to you. You're entering the Pon Farr cycle." I scooted away from him a bit on the bed. How could he possibly know that?

"That would be impossible as I am not yet mature by Vulcan standards," I insisted. He shook his head.

"Nevertheless, you _are_ entering the mating cycle. The time traveler hypothesized that all adolescent Vulcans are now experiencing the throws of Pon Farr, in an attempt to re-populate your species."

"Jim." He gazed at me, his eyes weary from all the excitement. I had no choice but to admit he was correct, as it would be illogical to deny it any longer. "You cannot tell anyone about this. Please." I gazed at him in desperation, hoping he would understand that the secrets of Pon Farr were incredibly private, not just to me but to all Vulcans.

"No, Spock." Jim was not about to back down. "I am aware that Vulcan culture tells you to keep the time of mating a secret, but all those young Vulcans will die if they don't have a mate during their 'time'. Many of their bonds have been severed when the planet was destroyed, as yours was." I raised an eyebrow at that.

"How did you-"

"Let me finish," Jim interrupted. He scowled at me, and I wanted to scowl right back. But I didn't. "I know that bonding is imperative before Vulcans mate, that simple physical gratification would be insufficient. Both participants must join minds if they are to survive the ordeal. Spock, it would be illogical to have some of those young Vulcans waste away, all because they wouldn't know what was happening to them. You must inform your father about the situation!" He sounded so calm, so sure of himself. I knew he was right, that I couldn't be responsible for more Vulcan deaths. "And you might want to tell your father that you're going through it too," Jim added. "He might appreciate a heads up."

"I am not familiar with 'heads up'," I admitted. Jim sighed and shook his head.

"It's an expression, Spock. It's not important. But that message certainly is!" I nodded.

"You are correct in your decision to have me alert my father. He would not appreciate such a message coming from you." We locked eyes and I knew that Jim had not meant any of the cruel words he had said. He still wanted me! We exchanged mutual feelings of joy that it had all been a misunderstanding. Jim gave me a timid smile, which I returned in my own way.

"Spock?"

"Yes?"

"I'll be right here when you get back." Jim gave me a pointed stare, and I knew that he wanted me to deliver the message right away.

"I shall return shortly," I replied, and practically ran out of the room.

Just being near Jim was affecting my sense of control, although he did have a soothing presence. I was grateful he had the sense not to touch me, even though I desperately wanted him to. On the way to the bridge, I contemplated what I would say to Sarek. This was going to be a rather uncomfortable discussion. But if I thought _this_ was uncomfortable, what would it be like when I told my father that Jim was to be my t'hy'la? I grimaced at the thought of what he'd say to that startling bit of news. I also tried not to think about the fact that I'd have to tell him sometime during the week, as Jim and I would have to be bonded soon due to my unexpected entrance into the pon farr_. Perhaps my father would disown me_, I considered. _But it would be worth it, if I had Jim as my mate._

.~.

_Fifteen Earth minutes later_

"Welcome back," Jim greeted me when I returned to his quarters. "So, how'd it go?" My cheeks turned a curious shade of green as I replayed the conversation in my mind. Sometimes having an eidetic memory was more of a curse than a blessing.

"It was… awkward to say the least," I confessed. "But he is going to meet with the elders and decide how to rectify the situation."

"Good." Kirk smiled at me, his lazy smile that would brighten anyone's day if they found it directed at them.

"Jim, I should not have attacked you like that." I blurted out. What was wrong with me? Vulcans don't apologize for their actions. They take responsibility for them, but they never apologize. But here I was, apologizing to Jim. Most illogical!

"It's alright, Spock," he insisted. "You were not yourself. And besides, _I _was the one who provoked you. I _wanted_ you to fight me."

"While that may be true, I still should not have let my emotions get the best of me." I looked away from him, ashamed of my deplorable action. "I almost killed you," I mumbled.

"Well, it wouldn't have been such a bad way to die." Kirk smirked at me. I knew then that my speculation was indeed correct; he had enjoyed my hands on his throat as I cut off his air supply. _Fascinating._ "But if you're still upset, I can think of one way that you can make it up to me." At that, my fingers laced against each other, and my breathing increased. _Not good!_ My mind was beginning to lose its focus. There was only Jim. I had to claim him as my own. There was no other option… "Uh, Spock?"

"Yesss..."

"I didn't mean now." He said it gently, as not to hurt me. Then why did I feel like he was rejecting me? A sob threatened to escape, but I didn't allow it. "As much as I'd love to, we can't afford to have you enter your mating cycle at the moment. Our crew needs both of us to defeat Nero." Oh. Right… that sounded quite logical to me. Thankfully, the blood fever retreated like it had earlier, but who knows how long I would be able to hold it off before I completely lost control?

"Jim, I must ask you to be the logical one, at least until this is over. If I am to remain on the bridge, I will need your assistance more than usual." It took a great deal of courage to admit that, but Jim needed to know what sort of mental state I was in.

"And you will have it." Jim almost placed his hand on mine, but snatched it back at the last second.

"Sorry, I forgot," he said, sounding rather sheepish.

"You are forgiven." We looked at each other, and I knew my previous statement carried more depth than I had originally intended.

"All right!" Kirk grinned at me. "Shall we return to the bridge? I believe we have a Romulan to defeat."

"Yes, captain." He shivered.

"Um, Spock, when you call me that, please try to keep the longing out of your voice! We don't want to alert the crew that we're… together." I nodded, a bit embarrassed about my lack of control.

"I will do my best, captain."

"That's better," Kirk approved. "Now I know you can't wait to get me in the sack, but you have to keep on pretending that you hate me in front of the crew. Can you do that?"

"I can, and I will," I promised. I also pondered what 'getting him in the sack' meant, but I supposed it was just another of those illogical Terran expressions.

"Good. We will get through this, Spock," he declared. "I will be with you every step of the way. If you need anything, anything at all, just ask."

"Most agreeable of you, captain." Jim sighed, as he could tell I was slipping back into my logical self.

"I know your life seems like it's in shambles right now, but you _have to hold on_." We locked eyes and I could see the fire in his azure depths. I would hold on, for him. "As soon as Nero is gone, we _will_ bond, Spock. I promise you that. And then we shall experience your pon farr together, as one." I groaned softly.

"Captain, while I rather appreciate the sentiment, I find it-"

"Ah, too distracting." He finished my sentence and I nodded. "But it is something you can hold on to, Spock. A promise of our life together. If things don't go as planned with the Romulans, at least you can have that to remember."

"Thank you, Jim." Vulcans never thanked people either, but I found that my thanks was applicable to this situation. He gave me a cheeky wink, and headed for the turbolifts. I trailed behind him as usual, following him into the lift. I knew we were supposed to act in a professional manner any time that we stepped out of our quarters but there was something vital that I had to say to him.

"Jim?"

"Yes, Spock?" He gazed at me with such tenderness it was a wonder I was able to speak.

"I have been, and always will be, yours."

End Ch. 8

A/N: Let me know what you think! Their showdown with Nero will be the next chapter, and it will be somewhat different than in the movie.

I appreciate all of your feedback - I have such amazing readers!

P.S. That last line was a direct quote from Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (which I would highly recommend for anyone who loves K/S.) It was a quote taken out of context, but it was still a direct quote(!)


	9. Torture!

Disclaimer: Star Trek belongs to Gene Roddenberry. The movie rights belong to J.J. Abrams and Paramount. Thanks to Zachary Quinto and Chris Pine for inspiring me to write about the young versions of Spock and Kirk!

A/N: Thanks for your patience on updates. I'm very happy with the reader response this story has generated! I'm having way too much fun messing with Kirk and Spock in this chapter. Angst warning ahead!

_Teach Me_

Ch. 9: Torture

(Spock POV)

Twelve standard hours later, when we had almost reached Earth, the _Enterprise_ unexpectedly deviated from its plotted course. Without warning, the ship lurched and many of the officers were thrown from their chairs. (I had managed to hold on, while Jim fell directly on his face.) Inwardly concerned, I watched as he quickly scrambled back into the captain's chair. As I did not feel any pain coming from him, I assumed that he was uninjured. It was then that our vessel began moving in reverse, although not by its own power.

"Mr. Spock, what's happening to us?" Jim yelled over the roar of the engines, which were straining to pull away from the unseen force.

"We are caught in the midst of a powerful tractor beam, captain," I replied, as if encountering a tractor beam was all in a day's work. I continued my calculations to determine if we could break away from the tractor beam, but it was useless. After all, one cannot change the laws of physics.

"From where?" Jim cried. "There aren't any ships in this sector."

"Captain, I'm receiving an incoming transmission," Uhura called.

"Open hailing frequencies, transmit that we mean them no harm," Jim answered.

"But keptin, I cannot locate another wessel on my scanners," Chekov protested. "How can we be-"

"Captain!" I interrupted Chekov. "I suggest that we should reduce power. You should not risk damaging the engines; instead conserving our energy for when we have a more successful chance of escape."

"You're saying we can't fight this thing?" Jim shook his head, glaring at me. "I can't accept that." But when Scotty called the bridge and told Jim the same thing, he was forced to accept that the_ Enterprise _was a prisoner, at least for now.

"Mr. Sulu, impulse power only," Jim ordered.

"Yes, sir," Sulu responded. "Switching to impulse power."

"Captain, they're hailing us!" Uhura alerted Jim.

"On screen." Jim sat up a little straighter just before the transmission was patched through. We were greeted with the not-so-pleasant sight of the Romulans who had destroyed Vulcan and who were currently holding Christopher Pike hostage. _No! _We'd had a 88.4% chance that my calculations combined with that of Chekov's would ensure the ship's invisibility. Obviously, we had not succeeded. _I have let the crew down, I have let my father down, and most importantly, I have let Jim down. _My thoughts threatened to overwhelm me. What were we going to do now? Not even Jim could turn this trap into a winning situation.

When that Romulan appeared on the view screen, a surge of hatred coursed through me like I'd never experienced before. I wanted nothing better than to blow him and his ship into oblivion, and even that wouldn't answer for the deaths of my mother and six million Vulcans.

"_Hello_, James," drawled the leader. "It's Nero again. Fancy seeing you in the captain's chair. I was expecting to find Mr. Spock as captain, but this is…" he lowered his voice to a whisper, "so much more exciting." If he meant to intimidate Jim, he was sorely disappointed. So the Romulan tried a different tactic. "My ship is scanning your computer banks as we speak. It won't be long until I find just what I want. I look forward to entertaining your crew." Just then the menacing form of the _Narada_ was revealed on my scanners – it was far below us! The only logical explanation was that the Warbird had employed a cloaking device, although in all of my studies I'd never encountered a device powerful enough to shield a ship of that magnitude.

"Glad I could surprise you," Jim retorted. "It seems you have an interest in my ship. Let's talk terms."

"I have an interest in _your_ Vulcan science officer," Nero amended. I did not like the way Nero put an emphasis on 'your'. Not one bit. My body gave an involuntary shudder when Nero transferred his gaze from Jim to me, and then back to Jim. "I intend to make him suffer for allowing Romulus to be destroyed." Jim gave a loud sigh, feigning boredom. I knew better. The moment Nero mentioned me, I felt a ripple of fear from my future bondmate. I tried to send him a wave of reassurance, but I doubt it helped much.

"As much as I'd love to get rid of him, it's against Starfleet policy to negotiate using hostages." Jim actually sounded disappointed. "And, since I rather like my position at the moment, I'd rather not break policy. I hope you understand." I had to admit, Jim was quite proficient in the art of play-acting. He almost even had _me_ convinced!

"What if I were to give you the option of trading Mr. Spock for Christopher Pike?" Nero smirked as Jim gave a start at that. "I'd even let your ship go. Come on, James," he goaded. "The Vulcan you hate or your mentor - it should be a no-brainer!"

"I'm not allowed-" Jim started, but he was interrupted.

"Think about it, James," Nero said. "You have one minute." The image disappeared from the view screen, leaving the bridge crew in total silence. Jim stood up and turned to face us, the indecision clearly written on his young features.

"Dammit Jim, give him the hobgoblin and let's get the hell out of here," Dr. McCoy whispered. I did not fault Dr. McCoy for his insensitive comment; as far as he knew, I loathed Jim with every bone in my body.

"Bones, if I need your advice, I'll ask for it," Kirk growled, showing his true emotions regarding the situation for the first time. "If anyone is going to be traded for Captain Pike, it will be me."

"Captain, that would be a most illogical decision," I spoke up. I wasn't about to let him go – it was suicide! "I would advise against it. There are no guarantees that Nero would keep his word and give the _Enterprise_ safe passage."

"I can't believe I'm saying this," Dr. McCoy muttered, "but he's right, Jim. We wouldn't want your sacrifice to be for nothing."

"Aye, keptin," Chekov piped up. One by one, the rest of the bridge crew voiced their agreement.

"But if I get aboard the ship, I might be able to sabotage the tractor beam, which would give the ship a fighting chance," Kirk explained. "And I might just take out that sonufabitch who killed my father along the way." I didn't blame him for that. I wanted very much to do the same, to strangle the one responsible for my mother's death, and for the destruction of my planet.

"Captain, he's hailing us!" Even one as calm as Uhura couldn't keep the panic from her voice.

"Patch him through," Kirk ordered through clenched teeth.

"Ah, James!" Nero greeted us with a serene smile. "What'll it be? Will you give me the Vulcan in exchange for Pike?"

"No," Jim said firmly. "But I've got another trade in mind. What if you took me instead?"

"Please, spare me the noble theatrics," sighed Nero. "Your puny attempt at sparing Mr. Spock's life only confirms the data I've found in your system." He then addressed the entire bridge. "Did all of you know that your captain and science officer confessed their undying love for each other earlier today?" _Don't panic, _I thought. But that was easier said than done. It was becoming increasingly difficult to keep my features schooled into their usual stoic expression. I wondered how, after all of the trouble Jim and I took to keep our relationship a secret, Nero had uncovered the truth. I considered the possibility that he could be bluffing, but I truly did not believe that was the case.

"What are you talking about?" Dr. McCoy scowled. "These two _hate_ each other. They were fighting like cats and dogs earlier. Spock almost killed Jim! You wouldn't find an unlikelier pair to be in love." Jim was sending me every ounce of strength that he had so that I would not give an emotional response. But as it turned out, it didn't matter. Nero graced us with a most unpleasant sneer.

"The ship's cameras don't lie." He vanished from the screen and was replaced with the recording of us taken in one of the turbolifts barely twelve hours ago. Jim and I were standing so close my forehead was practically touching his. I watched in horror as our private conversation was played out in front of the entire bridge crew. I felt Jim's fury at our exploitation for Nero's amusement. The only positive aspect of this mortifying situation was that my father was not in the room.

"_Jim?"_

"_Yes, Spock?" _

"_I have been, and always will be, yours." Jim groaned._

"_I _so_ wish I could touch you right now…"_

As the scene continued, I knew that no one would be foolish enough to dismiss neither the heat of our gaze nor the depth of our words as simple friendship. There are just some things even the best of friends do not say to each other, and those sentiments were some of them. When the transmission ended, Dr. McCoy stared at Jim as if he'd suggested flying directly into a black hole. But Jim ignored this, instead focusing his attention on Nero in a last ditch attempt to dispel him.

"Do you expect my crew to fall for that?" Jim shook his head. "You clearly have advanced manipulation technology which created-"

"Look at your Mr. Spock!" Nero crowed. "He is all the evidence you need. You are weak, Vulcan." Jim spun around to find my face flushed bright green. "He cannot deny his true feelings for you." _I'm sorry, Jim._

"Then who am I to deny mine?" Jim stood up and bravely walked over to my console. Just having him by my side was a comfort. I hadn't really expected him to abandon me, but when you've been betrayed time and again, you come to expect the worst.

"But," Sulu stammered, looking over at us in amazement, "what about Miss Uhura? I was under the impression that she was with Mr. Spock." The rest of the crew murmured their agreement.

"A clever ruse, boys. But not clever enough," said Nero. "And now I've decided to rescind my offer," the Romulan continued, breaking the stunned silence on the bridge. "Instead, I want both of you aboard my ship, or else I blow the _Enterprise_ to pieces. Either way, I'll have Spock dead. It's your choice, _captain_." Jim looked at me, and I nodded once. If we both went, we had a more successful chance at destroying the ship before it destroyed Earth.

"We're coming – just spare the ship." Jim gave the con to Sulu as he and I prepared to board a shuttle to fly over to the _Narada_. I wasn't sure if we'd made the most logical choice, but it was too late now to change our minds. We boarded the S.S. _Galileo_ and Jim set a course for Nero's vessel.

"Spock, about the other telepath-"

"Jim, it does not matter now." The menacing form of the Narada grew in the distance as we rocketed toward it.

"It matters to me," he said softly. "Spock, who would you trust melding with me?"

"Besides myself?" I thought about it. "I would trust my father, or someone of my house."

"It was someone of your house," Jim revealed. "Does that make you feel any better?"

"Affirmative," I admitted, all the while wondering which one of my relatives had traveled back in time. "Jim, my reaction to the news of your meld with another was not logical."

"No, but it was understandable," he said with a wry grin. "Melding is a very intimate experience to your species. I would not have melded with him had it not been necessary. But believe me, if you ever find out who the time traveler was, you will not mind." We sat in silence for a moment. I tried to digest all possible outcomes of our journey into enemy territory.

"Jim," I said slowly. "Whatever happens on the _Narada_, I just want you to know that-"

"Save it for our bonding ceremony," Jim interrupted. We locked eyes and I appreciated the determination that flared behind his. "No one is dying today." I gave him a small nod. His argument was sound – now was not the time for me to become sentimental.

.~.

Minutes later, we docked inside the monstrosity that was the Romulan mining landform.

"Welcome aboard, gentlemen." Nero's right-handed Romulan sneered at us as we were manhandled towards our destination. "Our captain is expecting you." We were marched off to the interior of the ship, where the Romulans were keeping Pike hostage. Nero was standing over him, speaking words we couldn't quite comprehend. Jim and I watched as Pike struggled to open his eyes when we approached the area. My former captain was strapped down to a flat surface similar to a crude operating table. Several wires were hooked up to his body, which I assumed were for electrocution purposes. From the looks of the unfamiliar sinister instruments, it seemed as if we had discovered Nero's own private torture chamber…

"Captain Pike!" Christopher Pike's eyes snapped open when he heard Jim' voice.

"Jim, what?" Pike glared at him. "I thought I told you to stay on the ship."

"I guess I'm not very good at obeying orders," Jim said lightly, grimacing as his guard yanked on his hair from behind. Then Pike noticed me.

"You too, Mr. Spock. What are you doing here with him?" I glanced warily at Jim. What was I supposed to say to that?

"Mr. Spock would never leave Mr. Kirk's side at a time like this." Nero whipped around to face us, and my heart rate began to rapidly increase. I desperately wanted to tear him limb from limb. _He dared come between me and my planet. He isn't about to come between me and Jim._ "You see, Christopher, they have been in a relationship right under Starfleet's nose!"

"And you think that, after everything you've done to me, that's supposed to give me a shock?" Pike gave a low chuckle. "It's not like that's forbidden. I wish them well. Jim, Spock, don't let him use this against you. It's what he wants!"

"Silence," Nero thundered. "Now. Mr. Kirk, I have prepared a session just for you. Please." Nero gestured to a flat slab of rock located adjacent to Pike's, and one of the Romulan guards dragged a struggling Jim over to it, tightly strapping him down. There was nothing I could do to prevent the inevitable.

"Administer the lowest voltage setting," he ordered his guards, who fiddled with the controls.

"Yes, captain," they replied.

"No!" I growled, struggling against my own guard, my black eyes blazing with fury. "Nero, it is me that you want. Let him go and I will do whatever you ask." I realized only after the fact how pathetic my pleading sounded. But I meant it. I would do anything to keep Jim safe, even turn myself over to the one responsible for the Vulcan holocaust.

"Spock, don't," Jim groaned. "I'll be fine."

"Excellent," Nero whispered, training his wild, yellow eyes on me. "I see I was correct in my chosen form of torture." Then he turned to his guard. "Begin." Jim twitched as the jolts of electricity began to course through his body. Yet he did not scream. I sensed he did not wish to make this experience any harder for me. "Increase voltage by five percent," Nero ordered after a few minutes of that. Jim tensed, and his form began to shudder. It was not long before Jim was screaming my name.

"Spock! Spooock!"

His anguished cries cut into my very soul as I watched, helpless to prevent my t'hy'la's suffering. Just then, the blood fever began to return. _No!_ I was disgusted by what the sight of Jim's pain triggered in me. How could I think of mating at a time like this? I knew I couldn't let Nero see what had come over me. But I couldn't stop the sweat from forming on my brow, nor my chest from heaving as I heard Jim crying out for me. I shut my eyes, hoping that if I cut off visual stimulation, the fever would subside. But it only served to alert Nero to my predicament.

"What is this?" He crept over towards me, laying an invasive hand on my shoulder. My eyes snapped open to glower at him. "It can't be," he muttered. "You're…you're entering the mating cycle!" He sounded delighted about it.

"No," I whispered, knowing it was hopeless. Nero had recognized the signs, and now he was going to use this knowledge against us. _Jim, what have I done?_

"You can't stand being away from him," Nero realized. "Spock, I wonder. Perhaps we should allow Kirk to experience a different kind of suffering." The Romulan leader ordered his guard to stop Jim's torture. At least I accomplished that much. Then Nero ordered me to go to Jim.

"Do not ask this of me," I pleaded.

"I had hoped you would cooperate, Spock, but it seems you need a little push in the right direction." Nero sighed, and gestured to my guard. "Bring the Vulcan over to his… what is your word for 'soulmate'? Oh yes. _T'hy'la_." Nero leered evilly at me as I snarled at him. How dare he sully that word, our word! I could've broken away from my guard, but then I would've had to fight off three Romulans at once. If there was to be a fight, I preferred better odds. So I allowed myself to be dragged over to Jim's side.

"Jim, are…are you alright?" I struggled to form the words.

"I've been better," he moaned as he moved his arms and legs experimentally. He seemed to be relatively undamaged. Good. I knew Dr. McCoy would be able to rid him of the pain once we returned to the ship. "You?"

"This is…most…difficult for me," I gasped. "The fever…returning."

"Spock, no!" Jim stared at me, alarmed. "Not here. You _have_ to fight this." My hands trembled at their sides. I craved contact with his skin. I wanted nothing more than to slake my lust, but since Jim asked me to fight it, I fought.

"Kiss him," Nero ordered. But still I resisted. I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of seeing me lose control, but I was fighting a losing battle. My logic was fading, and it was replaced by a much baser emotion. "Do it!" The Romulan ordered. Of their own accord, my hands found Jim's. He tried to yank his hand away, but I was just too strong for him.

"Jim," I panted, my lust for him evident in my voice as my two forefingers stroked his. "Do not resist me. I must meld with you. _Everything _depends on it."

"Please, don't! Spock!" Kirk whimpered as my other hand caressed his face. My long fingers searched until they found his meld points. I did not wish to take him by force, but I would do what was necessary.

We found each other more easily this time. I was drawn to the magnitude of his suffering, which greatly saddened me. I wished to heal him, but Jim wasn't allowing it.

/Spock, STOP!/ He shied away from me, as he was too frightened to realize my true intentions.

/Peace, t'hy'la./ I soothed. /I am somewhat in control of my emotions./ Jim relaxed, allowing his essence to join with mine.

/I never knew you were such a convincing actor. Good thing!/

/Indeed. Jim, you must be ready./ I warned him. /After I pinch the guards, I will toss you a phaser. You and Pike must immediately return to the Enterprise./

/Not without you!/ That was my Jim, stubborn to the last.

/I must take Nero alone. My strength from the blood fever will allow me a greater chance at incapacitating him. Then, when the Enterprise is clear, I will initiate the self-destruct sequence./

/Spock, it's suicide!/

/It is necessary. Jim-/

/Don't you leave me!/ His anger was just too much for me to handle in my present state. Why didn't he understand, that this was the only way?

/I love you./ I broke the meld. Then, without warning I broke away from my guard. I quickly pinched his neck, then tossed his phaser to Jim, who promptly used it to melt his bonds.

"Get me security," Nero barked to the ship's computer. I grappled with Jim's guard before giving him the same treatment.

"Don't move, Spock." I whirled around to see Nero pointing his phaser directly at Jim. We had reached an impasse. Jim and I both had Nero within range of our phasers, but the villain knew that I would not shoot on the off chance Nero would shoot Jim. I heard security approaching, and it was now or never.

"Go to hell, you bastard." Stunned from the blast, Nero slumped over, falling to the floor in a heap. He was dead. Jim and I stared at each other in amazement. If we hadn't shot him, then who had? Pike lowered his arm, his phaser clattering to the ground. But there was no time to contemplate what had happened, as Jim and I found ourselves drawing phaser fire. We covered each other, moving swiftly as a team to take out each and every member of the security team that Nero had dispatched. After the last Romulan had fallen, I went to free Pike as Jim initiated the _Narada_'s self destruct sequence, using Nero's datacard he found on the dead Romulan.

"The platform will self destruct in… sixty seconds," the ship's computer warned. Shouts of protest could be heard all over the ship, which Jim took as our cue. He whipped out his communicator, making sure that Pike and I were all set to go.

"Enterprise, three to beam up!" Right on cue, I felt the familiar tickling sensation of the beam. Somehow, Jim and I had done it. We managed to rescue Pike and kill Nero in the process. However, we still had to remove the _Enterprise_ from the path of the remaining danger.

Back on the ship, we arrived in the transporter room and were met by Bones, who fussed over Pike. Jim and I hurried to the bridge just in time to witness the explosion of the _Narada_. We warped away from the dying Romulan vessel, but the ignited red matter caused the formation of a black hole, which tried to swallow us.

"Scotty, get us out of here!" Jim called down to engineering. The engineer's panicked voice answered him.

"Captain, I cannae promise anything, but I have a theory that takes-"

"I don't care whatever it takes, Mr. Scott, just give us your best shot!" Scotty was able to conjure up a miracle, and we managed to escape the black hole as it closed up behind us, taking the Narada with it. Earth was safe! And so was Jim.

As the crew celebrated our victory, he turned back to look at me. I gave him a nod of approval, and his smile warmed me to the core. It was time to start planning that bonding ceremony. Or so I thought…

For at that moment, the turbolift opened to reveal my father. He did not look pleased, and I knew that he had been made aware of the true nature of my relationship with Jim.

"Captain." Jim nodded respectfully at my father.

"Ambassador."

"I must request that we divert to New Vulcan before returning to Earth."

"New Vulcan?" Jim glanced over at me, looked pleased. "A new colony is already being formed?"

"It was necessary," Sarek said, his voice heavy.

"Where is this New Vulcan?" Jim asked.

"On the fourth moon of Bajor." Sarek rattled off the coordinates to the Bajoran system.

"Mr. Chekov, plot a course using these coordinates," Jim directed. Chekov stared at his captain, wide eyed.

"But sir! Surely Starfleet must be-"

"That's an order," Kirk insisted. "Ambassador, Mr. Spock, I'm sure we have much to discuss. Mr. Sulu, you have the con." Wordlessly, I followed Jim and my father into the turbolift. I glanced nervously at Jim behind my father's back, and he shot me an amused smile. It seemed he was actually enjoying this situation! I couldn't see why.

Soon the turbolift arrived at our destination and we went to talk in my quarters. My father wasted no time explaining that whatever fling that Jim and I may have had, we had to call it off now. I was to be bonded in a marriage ceremony on New Vulcan before I descended into full plak-tow.

"I assume you have already chosen a suitable bondmate for me, Father," I said, trying to sound as neutral as possible. Of course I thought my choice of a bondmate was more than suitable, but what did I know? I was only an adolescent Vulcan, and my opinion was therefore irrelevant.

"Affirmative," said Sarek. "The elders and I have located a perfectly adequate female who has also lost her childhood bondmate. She is ready to do her duty, and you must do yours."

"Uh, excuse me!" My father looked at Jim in surprise, who was sheepishly waving his hand at us. I really hoped he wouldn't say anything too disrespectful, even if my father deserved it. "I believe I have a say in this. Mr. Ambassador, a bond has already begun to form between your son and I and, well, I'd really prefer to keep it intact. I love him, sir, and am fully prepared to accept the responsibilities attached to mating with a Vulcan."

I basked in Jim's shower of affection, reveling in the feel of his complete trust in me, in us. I was thrilled that he would recognize our already strengthening bond for what it was. It was fairly weak by Vulcan standards, but it was quite stable even without the bonding ceremony. Yes, what we had between us was right, even if my father could not see it.

"Out of the question." Sarek glared at Jim before turning his gaze back to me. "It is a most illogical match."

"Why?" Jim wanted to know. "What's so wrong about Spock and I?"

"Isn't it obvious? Spock should bond with a Vulcan!" Sarek fumed. "His responsibilities are to his kind, now. Not to a foolish boy that he barely knows. Spock, I have chosen someone for you who will not need to turn to others for extramarital gratification." This wrongful assumption wounded Jim greatly, which in turn wounded me.

"But I could never-" I interrupted Jim, knowing that whatever he was going to say, my father had already made up his mind not to hear it.

"Father, I do not wish to bond with anyone but Jim," I stated. "He is my t'hy'la. There is no one else for me. I would rather die than bond with another."

"Son, you _must_ see reason." Sarek's gaze was filled with unabashed pity. "Pon farr has blinded you with lust – it's keeping you from making a logical decision. I will not allow him to have this power over you." How could my father not see in Jim what I saw? While I envisioned our future together, my father chose to exploit Jim's past.

"But Spock felt this way about me before the pon farr took hold of him," Jim cited. "Ever since we confessed our true feelings, we both knew we would bond. And nothing, not even the destruction of Vulcan, is going to stop us." He draped his arm around me then, and the possessive gesture was not unnoticed by my father. I welcomed it, thankful that Jim wished to claim me as his mate even if he would gain Sarek as a father-in-law.

"He is correct, Father," I said quietly. "I want this as much as he does, if not more so. I will find another way to serve my kind." A flash of anger materialized in my father's eyes, directed towards me. No doubt my choice had shamed him yet again. But for the first time in my entire lifespan, I found that my father's opinion did not matter to me as much as it once did. I had Jim, and he was enough.

"Then," Sarek threatened, "If you will not bond with a Vulcan, you are no longer a son of mine."

End Ch. 9

A/N: Let me know what you thought! I tried not to make the scenes with Nero too brutal, but it was such a great opportunity for some Kirk torture that I just couldn't refuse. There's one more chapter left in this story and then I will being my sequel.


	10. Unshakable Bond Part One

Disclaimer: Star Trek belongs to Gene Roddenberry. The movie rights belong to J.J. Abrams and Paramount. Thanks to Zachary Quinto and Chris Pine for inspiring me to write about the young versions of Spock and Kirk!

A/N: Sorry for the delay! This chapter has been most daunting, and I put it off by writing an 'essay' about slashy content in the novelization of the movie. (This can be found on my livejournal, the link is in my profile if you are interested.)

So when I finally did write the chapter, I decided to split it into two parts, with the actual ceremony in the subsequent chapter. So this isn't really the end. Faked you out! I wasn't expecting this to happen, but my one paragraph conversation involving Bones just continued to grow. I decided not to fight it. This is all build up to their bonding. I hope this gets you pumped up! And… action!

_Teach Me_

Ch. 10: Unshakable Bond, Part One

(Spock POV)

We retreated to Jim's quarters after my father's rather hurtful declaration. As we both took a seat on his bed, I tried to process what had just happened. _Disowned! _Try as I might, I could not digest this startling concept. As of this moment, I had no family to speak of.

"That's not true, Spock," Jim spoke up. "Soon I will be part of your family." My eyebrows flew up to my forehead.

"How did you…"

"Your emotions are coming through our link," he admitted. "I can practically feel everything you do."

"I am sorry." I hung my head. "My concentration has slipped. If you allow me to meditate, I can-"

"Don't be sorry! I _want_ to feel you, dammit. It's time you stop shielding me anyway." Jim and I locked eyes and I basked in the warmth radiating from them. "Spock, he'll come around," Jim insisted. "I know it." I could tell Jim believed he was telling the truth, but unless he had somehow glimpsed our future, which was highly unlikely, there was no way for him to know how my father would act.

"I do not believe you comprehend the severity of the situation," I replied, my posture as unyielding as ever. "I have been permanently excommunicated from the House of Surak. While this is an acceptable sacrifice for having you as my bondmate, I must allow time to meditate on the possible outcomes of this situation and…"

"Spock." Jim quietly cut me off. "I know it hurts." I nodded, knowing there was no way to hide my true feelings from him.

"I do not understand my father's logic," I vented. "He should have nothing against inter-species relationships, as my mother was human."

"I don't think that's your father's problem," Jim whispered, scooting closer to me. I shivered at our close proximity. Our faces were almost touching and I desperately wanted him to kiss me. But I knew that would not be a good idea. Because once we started, I would not be able to stop… "He believes it's your duty bond with a female and raise a child on New Vulcan. But what he is forgetting is your commitment to Starfleet, and that your genes are, well…"

"Flawed?" I supplied. Jim sighed.

"If you want to call it that. The fact is, you have low odds for producing healthy offspring."

"You are correct," I breathed. "My mother experienced three miscarriages before I was carried to term."

"Then, logically, you would not be the best choice to bond with this female since you are not full Vulcan. Right?" Suddenly, I did not want to discuss this any further. I didn't want to think about what would happen on New Vulcan with the girl. But as I was not tied to my father, his demands would no longer apply, and I would be free to bond with whomever I chose.

"Jim. I am bonding with you, therefore this discussion is irrelevant. What is done is done; I will not dwell on it any longer."

"Of course, Spock." Jim stared at me in confusion as he tried to absorb my latest wave of illogical emotions. I wished I had the strength to block my turmoil from him, the deep ache of all familial bonds severed. But I could not. Perhaps part of me wanted him to know what I was facing.

"Now I have lost both of them," I whispered as the realization hit. "My mother, and now him. All I have left is you."

"And you'll always have me," he murmured. _Until you die,_ I thought, a feeling of misery gnawing at me from the inside. After all, the lifespan of a Vulcan was almost twice as long as the life span of a human. It was a disquieting fact that I had overlooked until now, but suddenly was more apparent than ever. "Spock!" Jim spoke sharply. "Don't think about that. If you do, I may not be able to keep it together. Besides, we have so much time left to spend together."

"Then don't make promises you can't keep," I retorted. "I will not always have you, Jim. This is a truth I must come to terms with." Jim closed his eyes, and through our link I knew he was questioning if bonding with me was worth it if it was to cause me so much pain in the end. "Do not misunderstand me, Jim," I told him gently. "I want this. I want a life with you, regardless of the cost." He opened his eyes and stared deep into mine.

"Can I hold you?" He asked. "I know you think it's best if we don't touch until the ceremony, but it's driving me absolutely nuts. I promise I'll keep my hands to myself."

"Are you certain you can keep that promise?" I scrutinized him closely, but it seemed he had no other motive than to offer me comfort. And, perhaps, to gain some himself.

"I'm positive," Jim answered firmly. "No kisses - Vulcan or otherwise." I exhaled in relief. As long as our fingers did not come in contact, I should be able to keep my urges in check.

"Thank you, Jim." I allowed that sentiment as he pulled me into his arms. We faced each other on the bed, Jim's forehead resting against mine. "In a few days, we will not have to resist each other."

"I look forward to it," he answered, his eyes sparkling with mischief. But then they grew serious. "Spock, I know it may not seem this way at the moment, but your father still cares about you." I reveled in our closeness, glad that I had allowed myself this one luxury before our bonding. It had been just as difficult for me to not touch _him_. While our proximity was rather taxing, I knew that it would be would be worse for both of us to deny this. I could keep the blood fever at bay, as long as Jim did not provoke it.

"You are wrong, Jim." My future bondmate gave me a wry smile.

"He will figure it out, Spock. He will realize that you are still his son, his only link to Amanda. He will want to have you as a son, even if you're bonded to someone he deems inferior."

"I hope you are correct," I whispered before releasing a small yawn. "Jim, we cannot afford to fall asleep. We are needed on the bridge." Jim just gave an exasperated sigh.

"Spock, we just saved Earth, and not to mention the ship from certain destruction. I think we deserve a little down time. Sulu, Chekov, and the rest can handle the ship."

"Logical," I murmured. I did not have the strength or the will to argue. "I suppose I could rest for a minute amount of time." We drifted off in each other's arms, our worries dissipating as we descended into slumber.

.~.

Much to my dismay, we slept much longer than I had anticipated. McCoy came to check on us after ten hours and found us lying in the same position. He cleared his throat and I immediately woke.

"Why, good afternoon, Spock." The doctor graced me with a knowing smirk.

"Doctor." I sat up in bed and acknowledged him with a stiff nod. I felt myself blush at being discovered in bed with Jim, even if all we'd done was sleep. I poked Jim with one of my feet. After all, McCoy was_ his_ friend. No doubt the poor man had received the shock of his life when my relationship with Jim had been disclosed to the crew by Nero.

"Jim, are you awake?" McCoy asked.

"Whassamatter, Bones?" Jim yawned sleepily, turning over to find his friend standing a few feet away from the bed.

"We're receiving a transmission from New Vulcan and one of the elders is asking for you."

"Really?" Jim said, trying not to sound too excited about it. I knew better. A tiny pang of jealous surfaced before I pushed it away. "Did he identify himself?"

"No," McCoy replied with a frown. "He only identified himself as your old friend, which struck me as odd."

"Excellent," Jim said happily. Dr. McCoy just shook his head, trying not to think about how it was possible for Jim to be 'old friends' with an elderly Vulcan.

"Good God, man! How many Vulcans are you acquainted with, Jim?"

"Just two," he assured the doctor as well as myself. "Hey, Spock, do you care who we have to officiate the ceremony?"

"I do not have a preference," I admitted. "Although it might be more difficult than you think to find someone who will perform the ceremony against my father's wishes."

"We'll find someone," he assured me. "In fact, leave that to me." I did not thank him in front of our present company, but Jim knew how grateful I was thanks to our link. He then climbed out of bed to take the communication from the Vulcan colony.

"Thanks for waking me, Bones," said Jim, patting the perplexed doctor on the back. Dr. McCoy had tried to follow our exchange, but came up short. Jim started to walk out the door, but McCoy stopped him.

"Now just a minute!" Jim stopped in his tracks and did an about-face.

"Yes?" I knew that he had planned it that way. Jim's expression was quite smug, which easily gave him away. It was rather endearing, and I knew that if I was not careful, that smirk might just end up ruling me.

"Jim, what ceremony is he blathering on about?" Jim glanced over at me before answering. _Go ahead._

"Bones, how would you like to be my best man?" Jim tried to sound nonchalant but failed miserably. The doctor's jaw dropped open once he understood what his best friend was implying. "I assume Vulcan ceremonies have something similar, right?" Jim looked back over at me and I nodded.

"We do not call them 'best men', but yes, close friends are encouraged to be present during the ceremony." Jim turned back to his friend.

"Bones?" The doctor shook off his surprise.

"Well I'll be a monkey's uncle," McCoy declared. "Jim, that's wonderful! I never thought I'd see you get hitched, even if it is to a-"

"So you'll do it?' Jim cut him off. It had been unnecessary, as McCoy's insults to my species did not bother me in the slightest, but I appreciated the gesture.

"I wouldn't miss this for the world." Dr. McCoy grinned at us. "Congratulations."

"You do not find the union to be distasteful?" I asked, disbelieving.

"Nah," said the doctor, his southern drawl apparent. "When you're friends with Jim, you learn to expect the unexpected." I raised an eyebrow at Jim, who shrugged.

"I'd better go take that com. See ya later, Spock. Bones." He made a swift exit, leaving me alone with the doctor.

"Now, I wasn't about to say this in front of Jim," McCoy began. "I don't know if he has you fooled, but he's not as tough as he seems. He's vulnerable, and he only lets those close to him see that. So if you break his heart, Spock, so help me, I will-"

"Understood, doctor," I interrupted. "I have no intention of severing our bond."

"Bond?" McCoy stared at me, again at a loss. I tried to explain it the best I could, including the concept of t'hy'la, that what Jim and I shared went beyond an ordinary human marriage contract. That what I felt for him transcended the physical. Our minds were to be joined, and therefore, our souls…

"I'll be damned," he said after I finished. McCoy regarded me solemnly. "I seem to have underestimated you, Spock. If anyone needed this sort of bond thing, it's Jim. He's a very special person, but he can be needy at times. He's not perfect, not by a long shot." I knew. "He knows your weak spots and he knows how to wound you if he deems it necessary. But he will always be there to share in your times of joy and of sorrow."

"This is already apparent to me, Doctor." McCoy nodded, realizing I was referring to my own personal losses.

"Good. Well, I wish you both all the best."

"Your sentiment is noted, Doctor." Shaking his head, he took his leave, and I found myself in solitude. But I was not truly alone, as I was feeling Jim's happiness through the link. Whatever he and the elder Vulcan were speaking about, it was good news.

I decided to use this time to finally meditate on all that had happened to me in this brief period of time. I had lost my mother, my planet, and my father's love all in one day. But Jim had been there to see me through it. And, if I was not mistaken, I had gained a friend in McCoy. As I allowed my consciousness to leave my body, I tried to concentrate on my future instead of dwelling on the scars of my past…

.~.

_Two days later_

We arrived on at New Vulcan right on schedule. Jim did not have time to accompany me to register for citizenship, as his duties as acting captain of the _Enterprise_ kept him detained on the ship for the day. I knew he would have difficulty explaining to Starfleet why he had taken their flagship on an unexpected detour to New Vulcan. But I was not too concerned – after saving Earth from Nero, Starfleet should be the one answering to Jim, not the other way around. If he were to receive a reprimand, it would be a slight one.

However, this meant that I had to register by myself, along with my father. We departed the ship together, but we couldn't have been farther apart. Sarek was cold and distant to me, just as I had expected. I did not know how much longer I could stand being in his presence after the way he had treated Jim. But as luck would have it, I was removed from my father's presence at the request of one of the Vulcan elders.

I fully expected to receive a lecture about the merits of suppressing one's emotions, as I assumed my loss of control as acting captain of the _Enterprise_ had reached the Vulcan consulate by now. But what awaited me was much more surprising.

I was met by an ancient Vulcan, who welcomed me to his makeshift home. It was there that he revealed to me that he was, in fact, myself from the future. This elder Spock had apparently traveled back in time via the same black hole that allowed Nero access to our century. It dawned on me that this was the time traveler Jim had met on Delta Vega. Jim had been correct; I did not mind that my elder self had melded with him in order to share necessary information. I also inferred that this was the telepath that had taught Jim how to shield his true feelings from me in order to compromise me and take over the ship. Spock had apologized for that, but insisted that it had been necessary. I agreed with him wholeheartedly. If Jim had not gone after Nero, he would have destroyed Earth for sure, and he would still be very much alive. Who knows where we would be if this had been allowed to happen?

My time spent with my elder self was most illuminating. He showed me all that Jim and I could be, by showed me of his time spent with _his_ Kirk. While future Spock assured me our life would most assuredly follow a different path than theirs, he predicted that we could still achieve greatness together.

Spock reminded me to cherish the time I had with Jim. He no longer had his Kirk in his life, and he was quite envious of what lay before me. Even though I promised that I had no intentions of ever leaving Jim, he had me swear never to devote myself to the Kolinahr discipline.

"But why would I wish to purge myself of the emotions I feel for Jim?" I wondered, not without disbelief. "I do not find them to be shameful." That was when I gathered that undertaking the Kolinahr had been one of this Spock's regrets. I couldn't imagine what could have driven him to take such drastic action, and was not sure I wished to know.

"Then you are much wiser than I ever was," the elder Spock replied with a sigh. "Nevertheless, Spock, trust me when I say there will be times that you will want to give up on Jim. Now more than ever he will have issues to sort through. His childhood was not an easy one."

"I will not wish to give up on him!" I exclaimed.

"Do not be naïve, Spock," the other me chided. "Maintaining a successful bond takes many years of discipline and hard work. You will discover things about him that perhaps you would not wish to know. The reverse is true as well."

"I understand." I said softly. "I never believed this would be easy. Jim is certainly a challenge." Elder Spock chuckled lightly.

"That he is. But as long as you do not deny your feelings, you should be fine." We continued to speak of other things. I questioned him about Pon Farr, and he assured me in his time of mating that he didn't harm his Kirk – much. We spoke of my father, and Spock echoed Jim's words about giving him time. I wanted to ask Spock if our father was present for his bonding ceremony to his Kirk, but was afraid to learn the answer. So I didn't ask. I took my leave of Elder Spock after promising to keep his (my?) identity a secret.

Later that day, Jim joined me in our temporary accommodations. He informed me that while Starfleet was disappointed he would not be returning to Earth right away, he was still awaiting a hero's welcome as well as being guaranteed the captaincy of the _Enterprise_. I had not expected any less. I assured Jim that once my fever had passed, we could return to Earth so he could receive his medal of honor they no doubt intended to bestow on him. Jim rolled his eyes at that, claiming all of the attention was starting to give him a headache and that he'd rather stay shacked up here with me on New Vulcan on our honeymoon. I reminded him that if he stayed too long Starfleet might consider giving someone else command of the _Enterprise_. Then Jim decided that an extended stay on New Vulcan wouldn't be such a great idea after all.

Preparations for our bonding took up much of our time during the next day. We had to find a suitable venue ("Was it entirely necessary to invite the whole crew, Jim?") as well as suitable attire for myself and Jim. I did not know if traditional Vulcan robes would be available, but thanks to our connection to my elder self, we were able to borrow some. While my robe was to be the traditional somber black, in contrast, Jim chose a blinding white garment symbolizing his rebirth. I knew that once I saw him in it, I would seriously have to master my hold on the blood fever because Jim was sure to be a vision in white.

There was also that matter of the human part of the ceremony. While Jim found the Vulcan ceremony to have more meaning to him than any superficial human civil union, he still wished to be legally wed to me on earth. Jim drew up the necessary paperwork to apply for a lifelong marriage contract and left it on my desk to sign. He also expressed his wish to buy us matching wedding bands, a traditional Earth custom that my parents had also embraced. I was touched by this wish of his, although we would have to wait until we returned to Earth to search for rings.

That night, my elder self showed up at our door. Apparently Jim had already employed him to officiate the ceremony. I tried not to dwell on the fact that I was going to be bonded by my future self, and instead thanked both Jim and elder Spock. It would truly be an honor to be brought together by someone who knew us as well as this Vulcan did. I would have no trouble allowing him to join minds with us in order to join _our _minds.

After Spock ran through the brief ceremony with us, he did not linger. But before he left he warned both Jim and I that once our minds were joined, Jim would experience my biological imperative to mate through our mind link. He recommended that we shield ourselves from our connection during that point or else we would never make it to the celebration afterwards. Jim suggested that he wouldn't mind skipping the celebration, not to anyone's surprise. But I knew that the celebration party was a large part of what makes human weddings enjoyable, and I wanted Jim to enjoy his. Jim relented, realizing he would miss out on the sandwiches Scotty was preparing, Uhura's home-made wedding cake, and Bones' whisky. I did caution Jim not to overindulge, as I wasn't certain how the effects of alcohol would transfer through the bond. While I knew Jim could hold his alcohol, I certainly did not wish to test my limits on my bonding night. Jim promised that he wouldn't over do it, much to my satisfaction. After all, I _did_ want him fully functional and I knew alcohol tended to put a damper on certain human bodily functions.

Soon it was time for bed. Jim and I had been sleeping in twin beds, as I did not trust myself sleeping directly next to him. We quickly changed out of our uniforms and into our night clothes. Jim gave me a quick hug before climbing into bed, an action I eagerly permitted. As exhausted as I was from suppressing my urges, I was about to fall asleep when I heard,

"Hey, Spock?" _He really likes to talk,_ I reminded myself. _Don't hold it against him._

"Yes, Jim?"

"When I spoke with elder Spock on Delta Vega, he was the one that taught me how to shield myself from you."

"I had already deduced that."

"Of course you did," Jim sighed. "Are you having any second thoughts about tomorrow?"

"Are you?" I countered.

"No, I still want to spend the rest of my life at your side," he assured me. "I just have this awful feeling that I'm going to screw this up somehow. I've never once had a successful relationship before."

"Is there any reason why you cannot have one now?"

"No."

"Try not to fret, Jim. Good night." I turned over, preparing to sleep when,

"Spock?" _My elder self said it would not be easy. I'm so tired…_

"Yes?"

"I'm worried about the meld." I sighed.

"Lights." Jim and I found ourselves blinking at the sudden light.

"Why didn't you voice this concern when my elder self was here?"

"I dunno," he mumbled.

"We've melded before," I reminded him.

"That was different," he insisted. "It wasn't a complete meld and we weren't bonded then."

"What are you afraid you will see?" I wondered. What if Jim was not ready to experience all of me? What if he couldn't handle that yet? Normally I would not have asked it of him so soon into our relationship, but my Pon Farr made it necessary that we bond now.

"It's not what I'm afraid I'll see, it's what I'm afraid _you'll _see," he whispered. "Spock, I haven't told you everything about myself and my past. Not by a long shot."

"Anything I learn about you in the meld will not change how I feel about you," I assured him.

"How do you know?"

"Because you are my t'hy'la. I will accept all that you are. My love for you is unconditional, you know that."

"Oh." Perhaps he didn't. "Thanks." I sighed. Jim, for all his intellectual and creative brilliance, could be quite dense at times.

"Now may I go to sleep?" Jim chuckled, relieved that we gotten that straightened out.

"Sure, Spock. I can't wait for tomorrow now!"

"Neither can I." And I meant it.

"Good night, Spock."

"Good night, Jim." I waited, expecting him to call my name yet again, but he never did. Finally succumbing to sleep, I dreamed of what my new life was to be like with Jim. I was certain I would enjoy roaming the galaxy and exploring new worlds, my bondmate at my side.

End Ch. 10

A/N: So what'd you think? Any suggestions for the ceremony? I really could use some input here! It will make me upload faster.


	11. Unshakable Bond Part Two

Disclaimer: Star Trek belongs to Gene Roddenberry. The movie rights belong to J.J. Abrams and Paramount. Thanks to Zachary Quinto and Chris Pine for inspiring me to write about the young versions of Spock and Kirk!

A/N: So here it is, the final chapter of my first multi-chaptered K/S fic! I was just stunned by the responses my reviewers gave. As I said, this was my first major Star Trek fic, and for it to be as well received as it is, that's nothing short of a miracle. I have to credit my sister as well for helping me with plot hangups. She is the inspiration behind my perspiration. So, again, thank you reviewers, and also thank you readers who don't review. I'm glad I was able to give you all some enjoyment. Kirk and Spock deserve to be written well, and I tried my hardest to do them justice. Thanks again.

The song featured in this chapter is entitled _We Are One_, by the lovely Kelly Sweet. (There is a soul stopping K/S video to this song on youtube made by the user _kradashi_ if you want to check it out.)

_.~._

_Sure as the dawn brings the sunrise,  
We've an unshakable bond!  
Destined to last for a lifetime and beyond._

-Far Longer Than Forever, The Swan Princess soundtrack

.~.

_Teach Me_

Ch. 11: Unshakable Bond - Part Two

(Spock POV)

The following morning, I awoke thanks to an odd itching sensation on my face. Immediately, I opened my eyes but found that action to be useless, for an opaque, silky item was firmly tied around the upper portion of my visage. Based on the texture of the obstruction, I concluded it was a piece of clothing. Was_ I blindfolded_? As I sat up in bed, I heard footsteps approach. What was my captain up to now? I reached up to remove the offending piece of cloth when I heard Jim protest.

"Leave it on, Spock." A thrill passed through me at the sound of his smooth voice. In a few hours we would be bonded, and I would no longer have to suppress the blood fever that threatened to send me into the throes of pon farr at any moment. But I put that pleasant thought out of my mind for now, as it would not serve any purpose to dwell on it.

"Jim, what is impeding my vision?" I asked patiently.

"Oh that." I could hear his smirk. "That would be one of my ties."

"You own a tie?" It was difficult to keep the skepticism from my voice.

"Hard to believe, I know," he answered. "But I happen to own two ties, in case the occasion calls for one." I deduced he was not referring to dressing up.

"Jim, I refuse to participate in illicit sexual acts before the bonding ceremony." He sighed.

"Why do you automatically assume that is what the tie is for?"

"Because it was your idea." Jim gave a loud scoff.

"For your _information_, I blindfolded you because on Earth it is bad luck for the bride to see the groom before the wedding." The corners of my mouth curled upward at his response.

"That is most illogical." I said wryly. "I cannot believe that one so intelligent as you would fall victim to an old-fashioned Terran superstition. Besides, we are not bride and groom." It was an obvious statement, but I pointed out anyway just to irk him. "Unless you are willing to assume the traditional role of the female?"

"Forget it." With a sigh, Jim pulled the blindfold off me. For the first time that day, I drank in the welcome sight of him. His crystalline eyes captivated me, and I flung my shields up before he could feel the depth my desire. I still couldn't believe that when he could have anyone in the entire universe, he chose me. But who was I to question Jim's choice? "You are no fun, Spock," Jim scowled. "I'll have to fix that. By the way, have you seen my dress robe thingy? I seem to have misplaced it."

"Jim." I shot him a tiny glare. "Elder Spock gave your Vulcan ceremonial robe to you only _yesterday_." He hit me one of his killer pouts.

"I'm sorry, okay!" He threw up his hands in protest. "I was too busy worrying about the meld to think about where I put my clothes." Shaking my head, I rose to use the facilities. When I closed bathroom the door behind me, I found his white robe to be hanging on the hook behind it.

_Really, Jim? Really?_

How had he managed to get through school, let alone the Academy? If I was to maintain my sanity while bonded to Jim, it was imperative that he learn basic organizational skills. I refused to act as both his bondmate _and_ his mother. One role was challenging enough. Yes, if this union was to be successful, I would have to teach Jim a thing or two about order.

.~.

We changed into our robes, and I had to refrain from looking directly at Jim for fear of being blinded by lust. The blood fever was calling, singing my name with its seductive promises, but I refused to give in to it just yet. Jim had a much greater chance of emerging from my pon farr unscathed if we were bonded as opposed to if we were not. And as his safety was very much my concern, I willed the fever away yet once again. Closing my eyes, I endeavored to meditate my thoughts away. But Jim had other plans.

"Spock, what's that on your robe?" I blinked, and looked down at my IDIC pin. It was a rather startling contrast to the black fabric of my robe. The design featured a silver circular background topped by a golden triangular shape split down the middle in two equal parts. At the summit of the triangle sat a tiny white circular jewel. It was said that this was supposed to symbolize the Vulcan sun at the top of Mount Seleya.

"This is an IDIC pin." Seeing the confusion on his features, I explained further. "The acronym stands for Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations, which one of the great Vulcan philosophies. I deemed it appropriate to wear today."

"It's beautiful," said Jim, reaching out to finger the pin. "After all, our bonding is somewhat unusual, being an interspecies relationship and all that."

"Indeed." I found myself unable to look away from his searing gaze. "Jim…" He was much too close! Luckily we were saved by the interruption of a com. Jim was the one who had the presence of mind to answer it, and soon my elder self materialized on the view screen.

"Greetings," said the one who was me. "Spock, your presence is requested at a meeting." Upon seeing my worried reaction, Elder Spock amended his request. "It will not take long; you will be on time for your bonding."

"I will attend," I relented. Elder Spock, who went by the alias of Ambassador Solkar, asked that I meet him in his home, just as I had the day before.

"Can I come too?" Jim asked, trying not to sound too eager. That was when my father joined Elder Spock onscreen.

"This meeting is for Vulcans only," Sarek said, his voice strained. I opened my mouth to defend Jim, but my future self beat me to it.

"With all due respect, Ambassador, I would prefer for Captain Kirk to be present." Sarek did not get to answer because another one of the elders demanded their attention. He bowed his head, clearly not wanting to deliver his news.

"Ambassador Sarek, Ambassador Solkar, we lost another one." My elder self gritted his teeth, an action so subtle one would not recognize it if they were not looking for it.

"How many more young Vulcans must die before you see reason, Sarek?" Elder Spock asked, the emotion clear in his ancient voice.

"This requires further discussion. Very well, Kirk may attend the meeting." My father's voice sounded rather edgy. He did not appreciate being overruled. But he should not have excluded Jim. Elder Spock bid us goodbye and cut the connection.

"What was that all about?" Jim wondered.

"I do not know," I admitted. "But we will find out the true nature of those cryptic words soon enough." We left our lodgings together, heading towards the home of my elder self. If we were lucky, this meeting would not take long and we could bond without delay.

.~.

When we arrived at his office, Elder Spock gave us a fond smile.

"Good morning, Spock. And a good morning to you as well, James."

"Good morning," we murmured. My father was also present, but he made no move to acknowledge us.

"Please, sit." Spock gestured to two chairs that were facing those of his and Sarek's. "I am hopeful that your brief bonding ceremony will set a new precedent among Vulcans."

"Our ceremony isn't going to be how Vulcans normally bond with their mates?" Jim gave me a strange look. I wasn't sure how I was supposed to answer that, as it would take much explaining. But someone else stepped in for me.

"No, it is not," Elder Spock replied. "Vulcan females are usually given the option to challenge their intended mate with someone else of their own choosing. That option is also available to same sex couples. But it is a fight to the death, and more Vulcan deaths are something we cannot condone." Sarek was already frowning.

"Ambassador Solkar, you must realize that overturning a millennia of tradition is not something to be taken lightly. My son is to be bonded to T'Danna. It has been arranged by her father and I." I looked at Jim in apprehension. While my father no longer held power over me, his influence might prevent our bonding from being legal.

Right on cue, a petite Vulcan named T'Danna burst through the doorway. I had never met her before, and I could not help but note her natural beauty. (Not that she had anything on Jim, of course.) Her cropped, flaming red hair was pulled back from her face in a silver headband, and she was dressed in a ceremonial robe similar to mine. Except hers was light blue, which matched her eyes.

"Where is he?" She asked, the emotional undercurrent in her voice evident to all present. It was obvious she cared for the male to whom she was referring.

"This is my son, Spock." Sarek gestured to me, and I gave her a small nod.

"I do not believe that she was referring to Spock," my elder self injected.

"You are correct," she quietly snarled. I could tell that the drive to mate was affecting her normally logical judgment, and was causing her much emotional distress. She looked wildly around the room. "Where's Moldak?"

"I am right behind you." In walked yet another young Vulcan dressed in white ceremonial garb, who came to stand at the female's side. The handsome dark haired Vulcan towered over T'Danna, but there was an aura of familiarity and protectiveness there. He then addressed my elder self. "Ambassador Solkar, we were told that you were going to overturn the standing law, that we would be able to choose our mates!"

"And so you shall," Elder Spock reassured them.

"No. It is an illogical for those being bonded to choose their mates," Sarek insisted. "This is not how our society is run. The probability of two such beings choosing each other as mates among the thousands of Vulcans available is-"

"But she does not want Spock!" Moldak interrupted him.

"And I do not want her," I added, glancing over at my captain. "I want Jim, and T'Danna wants Moldak. It is very simple, really. We should be allowed to bond with the one that we love."

"Indeed," Elder Spock agreed wholeheartedly. "I know this is difficult for you, Ambassador Sarek, but change in any society is inevitable. Ours must change out of necessity for the survival of our species. The one to whom you were bonded was a proponent of change, was she not?" Startled, Sarek flinched at the reminder of my mother's passing.

"Yes - that she was." I could tell he was wondering how my ancient self had known Amanda. My father scrutinized the four of us, Jim and I, along with T'Danna and Moldak. The other Vulcan couple clasped their hands tightly together in mutual support. I would've reached for Jim's hand but I did not wish to test my self control at that moment. Instead I stepped closer to Jim, until our shoulders were touching. After our display, it should be clear to my father that our newfound logic _must_ prevail.

"Ambassador Sarek, it is within your power as one of our highest surviving ranking officials to overturn the current law regarding how bonds are recognized," my future self gently reminded him. "Decide wisely and you could be remembered fondly by future generations of Vulcans for centuries to come." I was thankful that Elder Spock had thought to play to our father's pride. It would be very difficult for him to resist having a lofty place in the long and rich history of our people.

"Have it your way," Sarek whispered. "I will overturn the law in an attempt to preserve our species. But that does not mean that I support it personally." After a not-so-subtle glare at Jim, he turned on his heel, ignoring me completely as he strode out of the office.

I could not deny that his rejection stung. But it did not outweigh the joy I felt now that I knew our bond would be considered legal in Vulcan society.

"You okay?" Jim asked softly.

"I am fine, Jim." I tried to reassure him that I was not affected by Sarek's behavior, but he sent me his warmth through our link anyway.

"Pardon me, I must still speak with the ambassador." Elder Spock took his leave of us, and I was pleased to realize that I was still quite spry in my old age.

"Let's follow him," Jim suggested. "I want to hear what he says to your father."

"Very well, but I must remind you that this was not my idea." After wishing T'Danna and Moldak all the best, we hurried after Elder Spock.

.~.

The ambassadors had locked themselves in one of the conference rooms in the multi-purpose building, and it was not too difficult for Jim and I to hear what they were saying. We stood outside the door, trying to catch our breath from our run.

I listened as Elder Spock spoke with my father. Eavesdropping fell under the list of misdemeanors that Vulcans never took part in, but at that moment I did not care. I swelled with pride as I heard my older self personally vouch for Jim's strong character. While I could not hear my father's response, at least I knew that he had another opinion of Jim.

Then I glanced down at my chronometer and saw that it was almost time for the bonding ceremony. I had heard enough. Elder Spock's plea on Jim's behalf may not change my father's feelings about my choice of bond mate, but it made all the difference to me that Jim heard him argue on his behalf. As we walked over to the registration center, I casually commented,

"It seems I still think very highly of you, even at an advanced age."

"I am a rather likable guy," Jim kidded, but I knew that he was deeply touched by my elder self's declaration.

.~.

Twenty Earth minutes later, it was time. Finally, after all that Jim and I had been through, we were going to bond! Two Vulcan attendants pulled the doors open, and suddenly it was time for Jim and I to walk before our audience as a couple. I glanced at Jim, and he at me. We did not need words to express our deep feelings, they radiated between us through our mind link.

As soon as the music started, we filed into the Grand Chamber of the New Vulcan Registration Center. It was the only venue large enough to seat the entire crew of the _Enterprise_, therefore we had to use it out of necessity. The audience was already seated and waiting as Jim and I processed in, walking side by side with Jim on the right and I on the left. Scotty was on hand, playing a lively tune on his bagpipes.

Jim and I had discussed musical selections beforehand, but since Scotty had volunteered so eagerly, and we had other matters to attend to, we just let him choose. Jim had made an odd request that Mr. Scott pick anything other than "Amazing Grace". I asked why he thought our chief engineer would ever pick such a solemn piece for a processional, but Jim gave me a sharp look that clearly said 'drop it'. Not wanting to argue, I did. As it turns out, Scotty's selection was more than adequate. But if I had to do it over, I would've preferred to walk in to something other than "Scotland the Brave".

It did not long to approach elder Spock at the front of the room, who wore a crimson ceremonial robe of his own. When we came to a halt, he struck the rectangular gong, symbolizing the beginning of the ceremony. I was pleased to see that some of our old traditions had been implemented into this new version of the bonding ceremony.

"We are gathered here today to commemorate the joining of two minds," Elder Spock began. "They are about to embark on the ultimate adventure, as their souls will forever be entwined. S'chn T'gai Spock of Vulcan, name your chosen bondmate."

"I choose James Tiberius Kirk." My voice was steady as I affirmed what Jim and I already knew.

"James Tiberius Kirk of Earth, name your chosen bondmate." Jim held my elder self's approving gaze as he spoke.

"I choose..." Jim hesitated and there was some speculative murmuring from our audience. If they wished to believe Jim was getting cold feet, so be it. I knew that Jim was merely balking at the task of saying my first name. "I choose Sah Chu-heen Tuh, um, Tuh…" Jim winced as he forgot the last syllable. My right eyebrow rose of its own accord at his disastrous attempt to pronounce syllables only fit for a Vulcan's lips. "Oh, screw it!" He groaned. "I choose _Spock_, okay?"

"Very well." Elder Spock gave a slight smile. "I ask the witnesses to come forward." Witnesses? As far as I knew, Dr. McCoy was to be our only witness. But there was Sarek, stepping forward to come to stand at my side. I glanced over at him, unable to contain my surprise and joy, but he did not look my way. Then Elder Spock asked the witnesses to state their names.

"Leonard McCoy, for James Kirk." The good doctor stood on Jim's right, and flashed his charming southern grin at us.

"Sarek, for Spock." My father stood on my left, and I had never been so grateful for his comforting presence. Because if he hadn't been there, I would have had no one close to me as my witness. Our officiant then cleared his throat, subtly demanding the attention of everyone in the room. Any background chatter immediately died. It was so quiet you could hear the _drip… drip… drip…_ of the fountain in the back of the hall. That was when Elder Spock began to speak, his rich voice resounding across the chamber so that all could hear.

"I am about to gift Spock and James with the deepest of sacred bonds, but I will do so only by strengthening their already burgeoning connection. If anyone has an objection to this union, speak now or ever hold your peace."

I held my breath, half expecting my father to object. But he did not. Elder Spock gave me a satisfied nod as my father stared at me, his eyes full of warmth and reassurance. He was actually showing emotion, as much as he dared in public, anyway. But I got the message. To me, it was as plain as day. Sarek _approved! _Of Jim, of us! I could not have asked for anything better. I knew that I was reinstated as a member of the House of Surak, and more importantly, that I was once again a recipient of my father's love. I knew I had my future self to thank for my father's sudden reversal of opinion.

Then Elder Spock motioned for Jim and I to come forward. He placed his hands on our meld points and initiated a three-way meld. I found my consciousness slipping away and entered a world of utmost peace and calm. Although there was another presence there with us, Jim and I found each other quite easily.

/Jim!/

/Spock!/

/Be calm, both of you./ Elder Spock gently chided.

He went to work, strengthening the gossamer tendrils that linked Jim's complex mind to mine. As he fused us together, I was slammed by a onslaught of Jim's memories.

He was playing starship captain with his mother at age seven. Not much older than that, he suffered a beating from bullies at school. He attended his mother's wedding to his stepfather. After he drove the man's prize red convertible over the edge of a cliff, he received a pounding that put his treatment by the bullies to shame. On his fourteenth birthday he lost his virginity to the pretty girl who lived on the next farm over. He spent his first night in jail at sixteen. At twenty-two, he crossed paths with Captain Pike in a bar, who urged him to join Starfleet. He became the first cadet to ever beat the _Kobayashi Maru_. He was smuggled on board the _Enterprise_ by Dr. McCoy. He was sent to Delta Vega, where he was chased down by an enormous creature and almost killed. He survived the ice planet, only to be almost choked to death by me. He was given command of the _Enterprise_, and commended for saving Earth from Nero.

_Jim had failed to mention that I almost killed him by sending him to a planet with carnivorous creatures,_ I thought, strictly to myself._ Why had he not mentioned it to me? _Then the answer came. He knew I was already overwhelmed with guilt of the destruction of Vulcan and the death of my mother. Jim did not wish to add to my already heavy burden, and I could not fault him for it. He was truly a compassionate soul, once you got past his front.

/I am finished./ Elder Spock informed us. Was he? I had not noticed. /I would advise you to prepare yourselves for a magnification of the senses. Shields up./

/Jim, are you ready?/ I asked, making sure my defenses were in firmly in place. They were.

/Always./ Elder Spock gently eased away from us, allowing the chance to experience what it was like to meld with just each other while bonded. I had no indication of where I ended and Jim began. All I knew was that I was unconditionally loved.

/Spock… our bond!/ He exclaimed. /You aren't touching me with your hands, are you?/

/There is no need, Jim. We no longer need physical contact to meld./

/That's incredible! It's just you and me. We can do anything we want here!/

/Indeed. But we are also standing before an audience of 1,000./ I had to remind him of this fact, as he seemed to be more emotionally compromised that I.

/Good point. We should probably return to the ceremony./

/I will break the meld when you are ready./

/I'm ready./ I eased off on our telepathic connection, and the world came slowly rushing back. Jim was breathing heavily, as he was feeling the suppressed effects of my blood fever.

/Shields up./ I reminded him as he seemed to have forgotten.

/Right./ He pursed his lips in concentration, successfully calling on the techniques Elder Spock had taught him. We reveled in the fact that our new bond allowed us to communicate telepathically without a meld. Slowly, we returned our attention to our officiant and he continued the ceremony.

"Now, repeat after me." Elder Spock swallowed hard. It seemed Jim and I weren't the only ones who were affected by their emotions. "Parted from me and never parted." My eyes met Jim's as we repeated the vows in unison.

"_Parted from me and never parted." _

"Touching and touched."

"_Touching and touched."_

"For better or for worse."

"_For better or for worse." _A tear glistened in Elder Spock's left eye as he whispered the last vow.

"With you, I will always remain until the end of time."

"_With you, I will always remain until the end of time." _

Then two Vulcan attendants tied sashes of deep purple around my waist and around Jim's, indicating the ceremony was now complete.

"You may join hands," said Elder Spock. I extended my arm to Jim, holding out my two forefingers in the traditional gesture of a Vulcan kiss. Jim's fingers brushed mine, and for a single moment, it was just the two of us there in that chamber. Elder Spock graced us with a bittersweet grin. I surmised he was missing his Kirk at that moment. This made me cherish my Jim even more, for our time together would not be infinite - at least in this universe, anyway.

"I now proclaim you bonded as one." Elder Spock nodded at both of us. "Congratulations."

_We did it! _Our fingers still touching, Jim and I turned and faced the crowd as bondmates. Jim was beaming as if he'd just won the lottery. (Which, in a way, he had.) I too had trouble disguising my emotions. It was most obvious how I felt about Jim, as I allowed myself the luxury of a wide smile. The Starfleet members in the audience went absolutely wild when we were announced as bondmates. The cacophony of noise was almost deafening to my sensitive ears. I hadn't realized that so many humans were in favor of the match. This was most agreeable! In contrast, the Vulcans in the audience politely clapped. Jim basked in the glory of the moment, while I began to feel self-conscious.

/Spock, relax./ I was startled by the sound of Jim in my head. It was most satisfying, but it would take some getting used to.

/I will endeavor to do so, Jim./ And I did. I loosened my rigid posture, drawing on a bit of Jim's energy to relax my mind. We stood there for a few more minutes as the photographers took pictures of us. We had one by ourselves, one with McCoy, one with Sarek, and one with Elder Spock. Thankfully, this tiring process did not last long.

We were about to recess out of the chamber when Jim surprised me by going for the human kiss as well. I don't know why I allowed it, as it was not part of the ceremony, but I did. At that moment I was too overwhelmed by Jim's sheer happiness combined with my own to care about what our audience might think. I was irrevocably in love with Jim, and he was allowed to take some liberties on our bonding day.

.~.

We held our reception outside. As promised, there was enough food to feed the enter crew of the _Enterprise_, as well as the remaining guests. Among the delicacies were Scotty's bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwiches and Uhura's homemade vanilla cake topped with vanilla icing. (Thankfully she remembered that chocolate was out of the question.) Dr. McCoy was in charge of the alcoholic beverages, and was enthusiastically manning the open bar with Mr. Scott. Jim automatically moved toward the food, but paused and turned back to look at me.

/Go on./ He heard the amusement in my thought, and gave me a shrug.

"What can I say, Spock? After all that, I'm hungry." There was that smirk again. Both eyebrows flew up to my forehead.

/Do not go there./ That was a warning.

/Fine./ He gave me a quick pout, but relented when he felt I was serious. Then Jim grabbed my hand and practically dragged me over to the food. He began to pile up his plate with his favorite food, but I cautioned him not to eat too much, as I would also feel his stomachache.

"I'd shield you from it," he grumbled, but he refrained from adding more to his plate. We took a seat at one of the tables, and spoke to those who came up to congratulate us. I ate a light meal and spoke little, but Jim was having some difficulty talking and stuffing his face at the same time. It was rather entertaining to watch.

After most of the guests had eaten, Dr. McCoy began the Terran wedding ritual known as the toast. There were no slices of bread to be found, but he did raise his glass and give a stirring speech about how Jim and I were destined to live a long and happy life together. Uhura chose to read a poem from the late 20th century that she believed described my relationship with Jim.

"It's entitled _Unshakable Bond_ and written by Joanna Fuchs," she informed us. "I have tweaked the old-fashioned words to fit this situation." Nyota waited until the crowd was silent before she began.

" A bonding of two people of quality and character, so obviously right for each other, is a joy and a blessing to the universe. May your fondest hopes, wishes and dreams all come true, as you grow closer together in an unshakeable, loving bond. May your bonding be filled with sunshine and rainbows and every kind of happiness you two so richly deserve." She glanced over at Jim and I, and tried to compose herself. Nyota was such a caring soul, I was not surprised she was being affected by her strong emotions. She sniffed and wiped her eyes with her the back of her hand. "Con-congratulations, and every good wish for the best things life has to offer you."

Nyota walked around the other side of our table to hug both Jim and I. Then she returned to her seat next to Mr. Scott, and they immediately struck up a conversation. Any guilt I had been harboring over Nyota's possible interest in me evaporated as I saw how she was enamored with Scotty. In turn, the chief engineer seemed entranced by her as well.

/It looks like Scotty has finally met his match./ I jumped again, turning to face Jim.

"I did not realize you were watching them," I admitted. All around us the festivities went on, but neither of us noticed. There was a dull roar in the background, but we ignored it, instead choosing to focus on each other.

"I wasn't. But you were." Of course. The bond. We bent our heads together so that we could talk without being overheard.

"Jim, while it is quite wonderful, our bond is somewhat…"

"Weird?" He supplied.

"Yes." I smiled again, relieved he felt the same.

"I think we'll get used to it, but it will probably take awhile," he surmised. "I know_ I'm_ not used to having someone else's thoughts in my head outside of a meld." I gave just the slightest inclination of a frown.

"You misunderstand me, Jim. It is not the nature of the bond that I find 'weird'. It is the strength of it that surprises me. Vulcan couples usually do not manage to communicate telepathically without a meld for at least a few days after the bonding ceremony. I do not understand it," I mumbled. "This is a most irregular development. You are human, and I am only half Vulcan. How can this be possible?"

"Guess we're just special," he deadpanned. "If you want, Spock, I don't have to_ think_ at you."

"That would be unnecessary, Jim," I told him. "I happen to enjoy the access to your innermost thoughts." He grinned at that.

"Good." He reached for my hand under the table and we held hands unseen while engaging in conversation with others.

.~.

About thirty Earth minutes passed, and it was time for the newly-bonded couple to have their first dance together. This was an entirely Terran custom, and I was rather hesitant to participate.

"C'mon, Spock, they're waiting for us!" Jim urged.

"Jim, I do not know how to dance." He raised his eyebrows in disbelief.

"Spock, it's a slow dance, not quantum physics. All you have to do is sway to the music," he explained. "I'll guide you through it. All you have to do is hold on and let me lead."

"Consider this a test of my faith in you," I grumbled, but I accompanied him onto the dance floor anyway. Strains of soft, lush music filtered into the atmosphere, and Kirk pulled me into his arms, placing mine on his shoulders. He was right, all I had to do was follow his lead. It was simple, really. I closed my eyes and listened to the lyrics of the early 21st century song.

_I am you  
You are me  
We are one  
Take me in your arms  
And flow through me  
I'll flow through you_

/Let go, Spock./ This time I did not jump at his voice. On the contrary, I found it soothing. My jerky, robotic movements slowly ceased as I let myself feel the music. It was not something I could logically categorize. Sure, there were the notes, the dynamics, and the rhythms that could all be logically defined. But it was the feeling a song evoked in you that made it truly great.

/Much better, Spock! That's it./ I was almost limp in his arms, and I rested my head on his shoulder for all to see. While a small action, it said volumes to the Vulcans watching how I felt about Jim. I was acknowledging his momentary dominance over me, something that Vulcans never allowed with a being of a different species.

/Ever since I met you, Jim, I have been taking part in many things that Vulcans do not do./ I felt him swell with pride.

/A little rebellion is good for you, Spock./

We continued our dance, in a world all our own.

_Steal my breath away  
Cause I'm so moved by you  
Deeper than I ever thought  
Was possible, was possible, it's everything, oh_

Jim's hands began to drift south, past the small of my back, all the way down to my…

/Jim!/ He chuckled and returned his hands to their original position.

/Just checking to see if you were awake./

/Hmph./  
_  
Difference between me and you  
It's all in where your heart lies  
And every day's another chance  
So let's get it right._

I was inexplicably flooded with a vision of Elder Spock with his Kirk. Jim felt it too, of course. They were on their _Enterprise_, and Spock was lying down in Sick Bay. Elder Kirk clasped Elder Spock's hand, and the Vulcan squeezed back. _This simple feeling… _And then the vision faded as abruptly as it had materialized.

/We're getting it right, Spock./ Jim thought fiercely. /This time around, we're getting it right./

/Yes, Jim, we are./

_I am you  
And you are me  
We are one  
Take me in your arms  
And flow through me  
I'll flow through you_

The song ended, and we were met with a round of thunderous applause. We both had to shake ourselves awake from the intimate experience. When he regained his wits, Jim took a bow, but I remained standing. Then Jim looked and me, and I looked at him, and it was suddenly time to leave.

.~.

Elder Spock had given us the use of his home for the duration of our honeymoon/pon farr. How we arrived there I could not be sure, but I think Jim ended up having to carry me most of the way. Thankfully, he still had a clear head. After our dance, I found I could no longer keep the blood fever at bay. I shook with need as Jim carried me inside the house. He headed straight for the guest room, and gently lay me down on the bed. If I'd had the strength to look around, I would've noticed the room was stocked with plenty of food, water, and other necessities that were needed to make this experience as painless as possible.

"Jim!" I shivered as he stared down at me from his upright position. _Take him…make him yours…mark him…do it now._ "Please!"

"Not until you lower your shields." He gazed down at me in concern. "I'm not about to let you do this halfway."

"I cannot," I whispered. "For if I do, I will give in to my animal lust. Jim, I will not hurt you."

"You won't hurt me!" Jim slowly began to remove his robe, which was not helping things. Soon he stood before me in nothing but his Starfleet underwear. One look at his firm, muscled body and I was panting. _Panting. This is so humiliating.._.

"Jim, do not…tempt me," I gasped out.

"That's the idea, Spock." He said, rolling his eyes. "Now it's your turn." I did not comply with his request; instead I curled up into a fetal position and shook with lust and heat. I was burning for Jim, aching to feel him as a part of me, in mind, body, and soul. "Spock, logically you know you have to remove your robe." That made sense to me. I turned away from him on the bed, and pulled the robe over my head, discarding it on the floor. But I still did not face him. I could not. If I did, I would attack him, much like I did on the _Enterprise_. I could accidentally_ kill_ him in the heat of passion!

"Spock, look at me." Jim's voice was ever so persuasive, that I actually complied, stretching out so that he could be granted the same view that I granted him. He drank in the sight of me in my underwear and our mind link flared. I was stuck by his lust and an undercurrent of deep abiding love. Jim crawled onto the bed beside me but he did not touch me. His beautiful blue eyes gazed directly into mine. "I want this." He extended his two forefingers and waited for me to do so as well. What could a bit of kissing hurt_? I am in control of my emotions. I am in control of my emotions!_

Of their own accord, my two forefingers reached out to brush his. We both jumped as the strong, almost electrical current flew through our connection.

"Jim, I do not know how to proceed after this," I admitted. It was true. After the kisses, I only had a vague outline of how this was to play out. "This is one area of science in which I am not proficient enough to-"

"Spock." Jim gazed at me with the utmost affection. "You don't have to worry. I will teach you all you need to know. You bonded with _me_, remember? Jim Kirk, King of Sex?"

"How could I forget," I said dryly. Jim continued,

"Now, I love you but for the love of God, please… _shut up_!"

"Shutting up," I murmured. His fingers slid down mine and I tried to relax and just feel. The texture of his skin against mine was absolutely exquisite. I responded in kind, and our fingers began the age old Vulcan dance. Jim was able to enjoy it more so this time as he could feel my reaction through our bond.

But then, all of the sudden, Jim pulled away.

"Do not stop," I murmured. I assumed he was playing a game, but when his fingers did not return, I opened my eyes. Jim regarded me solemnly, as if he wasn't quite sure of the certainty of his next move.

"We're not going any further until you lower your shields."

"Not yet."

"Yes, yet," he growled. "Dammit, Spock, you're still holding back." He was right, I was, very much so.

"I cannot be responsible for your death," I insisted.

"And I can't be responsible for yours," he countered. "Spock, you know we have to have our telepathic connection completely open for you to survive this." Jim leaned closer now, his breath warm on my ear. I held my breath, praying that he would and wouldn't do what I was imagining he was about to. And then his tongue laved the very tip of my ear, while he simultaneously thought,

/Let me in./

Down crashed my barriers as a jolt of pleasure coursed through my body. My shields crumbled and so did my resolve as I frantically melded my mind to his. The connection was staggering, pulsating with energies that engulfed us in an all encompassing glow. At that moment, I knew it was imperative that I take charge of this situation. Before I knew it I'd flipped Jim on his back and I was straddling him, my hands on either side of his shoulders. But I did not move. I couldn't. Not yet.

/Jim, I must apologize in advance if I cause you any bodily harm-/

/NO APOLOGIZING. Spock, just stop./ _He even interrupts my thoughts!_ /This is the part when you stop thinking and start moving./ My body gave an involuntary shudder at that. _Take him, take him!_

/But I am afraid./

/So am I. But we shouldn't let our fears rule us./ Jim fed me some of his bright energy through our link and I greedily absorbed it as a starving person would eagerly consume necessary sustenence. He ensconced me with his light, drawing my need to the foreground. How I hungered for him! My bondmate also bucked his hips towards mine, giving me some much needed physical stimulation. I literally saw stars.

/Ah, Bright One!/ Jim chuckled.

/When did you start calling me that?/ I could not recall. Some past memory flitted through my mind but then it was gone. /It doesn't matter, T'hy'la./ Jim was warm and tender and I knew that it was past time for my complete surrender.

/_Jim._ I am ready./

/Great! So, before you turn into this sexy Vulcan animal that I know you have hidden inside you somewhere, I have only two requests./ Now that I had made up my mind, I could only stall for so long…

/Name them quickly./

/First, I must ask that you not rip any of the pillows to shreds./

/Why?/

/I don't want to wake up covered in feathers./ Even during intimate moments such as this, I still couldn't figure out the reason Jim's bizarre request.

/Very well. There will be no pillow biting. What else?/

/Don't hold anything back from me, Spock. Please./ How could I refuse him this, after all he had done for me? I smiled through the connection, and I blended my joy with his.

/As you wish./

And then our souls collided.

.~.

Epilogue:

Three days later, Jim and Spock emerged from their temporary lodgings. Spock had bags under his eyes and Jim was sporting suspicious red marks on his neck, but they had indeed emerged from the ordeal relatively unscathed.

Thanks to Jim and Spock's trial bonding ceremony, the Vulcans now had a new, logical way of choosing their mates. Elder Spock did not attend Jim and Spock's reception as he had to perform the bonding ceremony on other couples who were about to experience pon farr. Sarek stayed with him on Vulcan to ensure that all of the adolescent Vulcans were bonded in time.

As soon as the captain and first officer of the _Enterprise_ beamed aboard, Scotty and Uhura announced that they were officially a couple. Spock showed more emotion than usual when congratulating the new boyfriend and girlfriend. Then Jim announced that it was to be business as usual, as they were on a tight schedule.

It was time for the_ Enterprise_ to return to Earth. And after that, who knew? There was an entire galaxy out there, just waiting to be explored.

The End!

A/N: You're welcome!

**If anyone realizes the true identities of T'Danna and Moldak, please PM me.** I'd love to know that you got the reference. They are based directly after characters in another fandom, although they are seen here in Vulcan form. That being said...

Thank you to all of my wonderful reviewers!! Your words have meant more to me than you can ever know. I thank you for sticking with me as I struggled to tie my own story in the with the movie. All of your feedback was much appreciated. Thank you also for the advice about the ceremony. I gave it all I got (captain) and I hope it is to your satisfaction.

**Be sure to look for the sequel, entitled _Mission to Gamus_, which is now posted!** It takes place five years after _Teach Me_, at the end of the U.S.S. _Enterprise_'s five year mission. This story is in a more serious vein, so it won't be quite as light and fluffy as _Teach Me_, although it will have its fluffy moments. It is a drama and also a romance. _Teach Me_ was basically just a trial run, a warm up for the sequel.

_Mission to Gamus_

Summary: Kirk and Spock have one final mission left before they can return to Earth for reassignment. But what was supposed to be a routine medical supply run to a planet known for its peaceful society turns into something far more sinister. K/S established relationship.

Above all, keep spreading the Kirk/Spock love!


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